Ok looking for a sense of what more we could be doing here and how unusual this behaviour is.
DD just turned four has never been the most extrovert of babies or toddlers. With us and people she knows she is fine, confident and stubborn.
She’s been to nursery part time for 18 months, and it’s fair to say settling in was a nightmare - took maybe 8 months before we didn’t have daily. Nursery report she is usually fine within 30 mins.
However, she is anxious of any situation she doesn’t like (usually new or unusual). We attended her end of year “show” yesterday. Whilst she went on the stage with them, she did not participate at all - hands in mouth or chewing something all the way through, looking like she hated every moment. Whilst enthusiasm levels varies amongst the other kids - I was quite shocked how much her behaviour stood out.
I should also flag we still have pretty severe problems with toilet use. This is mainly at nursery, our best guess is she doesn’t like going/ asking to go holds in and then it’s too late, we also think this has confused her body about signals so she finds it hard to recognise. We have spent a year slowly trying everything from rewards, not rewards, dedicated potty time, reminder watches, medication and are now awaiting a consultant referral.
Any thoughts ? Tips on where to go next ? I had thought Asperger (my DB has) but none of the early criteria seem to fit.
I’m trying not to worry about school as it’s a very small class and adjoined to the nursery so they are fully aware and very understanding but we just don’t know where to go.l from here.