Am I shit for wanting to put toddler in childminders?

[SlimmingMumOf1]

I love my DS who is 1 but he can be very hard work and I struggle to do absolutely anything because he always wants attention. I give him all of my attention, I play with him, we do colouring, drawing, I take him out on the swings etc but there's only so much I can do I really need to get other things done! Shopping is a massive hassle. I have nobody else to look after him. I am looking into putting him with a childminder 1-2 days per week for a few hours so I can get errands done and do my shopping quickly and swiftly. He went nursery before when I was at uni and he absolutely loved it but I cannot afford to send him there! Am I horrible for doing this? People must think I need to spend time with him but that's all I do! I get stressed very easily as well which isn't helping

Nah its not horrible, why would you think it is?

Sounds sensible to me. He gets to socialise with others. I would join some playgroup type activities though so he can let off steam with others.

I completely understand; I can’t even do online shopping with my toddler about as I just can’t concentrate while keeping one eye on her so anything that can’t be done at home during nap time doesn’t happen easily.

Of course you're not shit! Much as I love spending time with my toddler, it's fucking impossible to get anything else done when home alone with him.

It just means that the time you spend with him will be devoted to him alone, with no distractions of shopping and housework.

Nobody would judge this as bad parenting any more than they would if you worked two days a week, and sent him to a childminder.

DS had the best fun at his childminder - there were other kids and a dog to play with. It sounds like your DS would love it too. Do it!

Don't be so hard on yourself, of course you can do that. It will be better for you and for the little one

I have 2 great nephews living with me at the moment, they were with my niece 24/7. She's exhausted and close to a breakdown. We are trying to get them used with other people, so she can have a break now and then. First few days after they arrived she couldn't go anywhere, and I mean ANYWHERE!, without them. They seem to get better now and it's good for them as well

Of course not 😄

Op put him into nursery for acouple days a week for your own sanity. Happy mum equals happy toddler. He’ll love interacting with all the other kids and you get some ‘me’ time; win win situation. Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re a person outside of a mother. I’m speaking from experience, I have a 16 month old and care for him full time while dh works long hours. We have no outside support. If I had the money I’d do childcare acouple of days for sure. If I find the right job I’m considering working part time even if it means I not break even just for alittle time away!

I only break*

@kerryleigh you sound lovely, how thoughtful of you. Pity not more like you, I don’t have anybody in my family who would do that. I bet your Niece is extremely appreciative.

Do it if it is going to give you a break to do things without baby hanging off you.

Do it! Aside from the benefits to you (which are important!) I bet he'll get a lot out of socialising with other children and exploring a different environment.

Thank you everyone honestly you've made me feel better! I just felt like an awful person for trying to sort my son a childminder just for my own sanity :( I can not afford nursery but I am looking into childminder even just for a few hours a week!

My DH is a SAHD so technically we don't need to use childcare, but we do. Our two go to nursery two full days a week and we love it.
They have fun, social development blah blah, but we get a break, yay!
Happy parents = happy kids

My twins did 2 mornings per week from 18 months old for my sanity. They loved it, I loved it.

No, definitely do it if you can afford it. I plan to put my ds (who is 5 months now) in nursery two mornings a week next year, when he'll be just over a year, while I'm job hunting. My dd (who is in primary school) is going to holiday club 2 days a week over summer because we'd all go mad if we were stuck together 24/7 for 6 weeks. It's good for them to have that sort of socialisation and to build trusting relationships with other caregivers. And you'll be a better mum if you're refreshed and appreciate the time you do have together.

Following this thread with interest.
With my first two dcs I was absolutely determined not to put them into childcare until they were 3 years old because I felt guilty etc. and we had absolutely no family support even then. But now with dc3, I am seriously considering it (a couple of mornings a week to start off with) when she's about 2 years old (I am a sahm). A friend who is also a sahm said recently that looking back she should have done this with her own children for her own sanity, so you are not alone in thinking this way.

@PasstheStarmix thank you
I didn't have any family here when mine were babies. I was lucky to have amazing neighbours and friends, so I try to help others as much as possible
With the first one, we always want to be
perfect and we think we are superhumans.

Is your d's just turned 1 or almost 2 op? I'm a SAHM and I put ds into pre school for 2 mornings (so 6 hours) a week at two, mainly because I had a 5 month old and no help. I found pre schools were cheaper (£10 a session which was 3 hours )and ideal for a short break to give dd some one to one attention.

I'm on maternity leave with Ds2 and I still send ds1 to nursery 2.5 days a week

I love my DC dearly but I couldn’t do a full week with them or we would all drive each other crazy.
They get different experiences at nursery and both love it. You are not horrible, find someone you like and trust and enjoy the break x

Definitely don't feel bad!
When I worry about putting myself first I always think about what they say on planes - you have to put your oxygen mask on before the kids in an emergency so you're able to help them!
Meaning look after yourself and you'll be able to be the best mum you can be during the time you are with him.

It's sooo much quicker to get jobs done when they're not around and then you'll be free to do fun stuff with him! Win for both of you x

Not at all. I didn't want to send my son anywhere. But I knew that he would be able to play with other children and it would be good for him. He loves it. And it's a much deserved break for you too.