Grandparents booking holidays

[Creamcakes99]

My mother-in-law has decided she wants to take both families and all children on an fully paid for 7 night holiday next year.
I already have an 11 night holiday booked. I work hard, my hols are precious and I dont really want to go for that long period of time.
There is often allot of build up to these events which drives me mad (endless messages). My DH and i fall out over whilst away, the world often revolves around the other children when we are away.
I really do not want to go and i dont want to spend my leave on it. I do accept that we need to go away for a few nights with them.
My mother-in-law will literally start crying if i say i dont want to go. She will call DH in tears. The master manipulator at work.

Can you say you don’t have enough leave and go for a few days?

Why can’t your dh and children go and you stay at home then?

Your MIL is a manipulator. God, a grown women turning in the tears because she can get her own way?!

If you don’t want to go don’t. Do your kids and OH want to go? If so let them go on their own.

I have 2 DSC. Like you my holidays are precious. I’m happy to go away for a week with the kids in the summer. But don’t do the week with his parents and kids (abroad). I find his parents really hard work, and at my age I refuse to be told what to do like a child (by FIL).

So they go in their own and I have a lovely quiet week in my own. I tell the parents in law I can’t get the time off work.

Could you perhaps massage her ego a bit and say that your family would prefer to have some precious time alone with her and it would be lovely for the other DC to have that too- so take the other family away for 7 days as planned then have a few days with your family at a different time.

Play her at her own manipulative game- focus on how you want each set of DC to have a chance to enjoy special time with granny whilst they are young. No one can say you're being unkind to her and hopefully you have a shorter and less tense time away.

yes im not sure my DH will want to go on holiday without me. I am certainly going to put it out there though. Im happy for them to go.
for some strange reason his family have to do everything together, even if they dont want to or its not in their best interests.
Strange carry on when you come from a family who just does what they want.
I literally cannot go to the shop for a pint of milk without DH inviting the MIL to go along with me. (without running it by me first) drives me round up the wall.

Drop dh in it and tell mother in law you don't have enough holiday from work but your dh and the kids would love to go

Why do you accept you need to go away with them at all?

The beauty of being a grown up is being able to make your own decisions imo.

Are you saying MIL has gone ahead and booked holiday without checking your availability for the dates or willingness to go first??

If yes, then I would be telling her firmly "please do not book any holidays for us without checking first. We have limited annual leave and do not like to commit to anything until we've discussed it as a family and made sure it works for us"

If DH is not prepared to go on his own with DC then he needs to explain to MIL that you won't joining them

Go along with it, say you asked for the time off work and they said no!