Older Parent with Age gap between children

[Lavenderdays]

Just wanted to get a few thoughts down really.

I have a 12 year age gap between eldest and youngest - youngest being a baby then one dc in between. I have had my two younger children late on (I am now 44). There were various reasons for large gap between dc1 and 2/3 - external family events, pnd and some infertility/loss thrown into the mix too.

Don't get me wrong there is no way I would be without my children but now being 44, a lot of my peers have older children 8 years plus and I get a pang at some of the things they are able to do - for example a woman who is only a couple of years older than me, her girls are older 14 years plus and she is planning loads of activities for herself over the Summer Holiday another is planning a far flung holiday with her older children, or even just seeing the parents with older children being able to go for walks together alone (this would be a complete novelty for DH and I). DC2 has been hard work - high energy, very bright but with no fear and we have absolutely zero family support, so dh and I have to snatch time and go out whilst dc1 and 2 are at school for lunch if we want some time together.
As, I say, I wouldn't change things except for the slight regret that I didn't/couldn't have them a bit sooner but circumstances were difficult and I am fortunate, in the end to have them.
With every ache and pain (I have a 5 month old baby), I think is this because I'm older? I don't feel a whole lot different to when I had dc1 at 32 in fact this time around I haven't experienced pnd and have been far more relaxed but I am conscious when I look around me at the other school mummies that I have a good 10 years and more on most of them (it just seems to have happened this way in dc2 school year - I know there are more and more older parents at there now, I just don't seem to be meeting them.)
Can anyone relate?

Just wanted to say I have 12 year age gap between me and my sister and it’s worked out great for us... now, just over 12 years after my sister was born I have my own child.

I really don’t think age of parents matters apart from as you say, a lot more laid back as you get older.

It’s tough now to have time with your DH but in a few years time your first child could babysit for an hour or so for you like I did.

:)

Thanks Xam, I had forgotten about the babysitting potential and I'm sure older dd would be glad of the cash!
I think it is more noticeable at this stage dc2 is about to start school and youngest dc is a baby but as they grow, I guess I will feel slightly less conspicuous. Most people fortunately, put me down as being at least 5 years younger than I am...so, I don't think I look my age but certainly feeling it but...tbh I think I felt like this at 32! Their needs change as dc grow but I think 1 years to 3 years is probably the most difficult (along with the disturbed sleep I am experiencing now of course). Certainly don't want to wish time away, time goes by quickly as it is.

Oh and good to hear the age difference worked out well for you xam, hoping my dcs will be good friends in years to come.

oh i can so relate especially being the older parent in the school playground, i had DD at 42 almost 43, she was my little shock/surprise :) i did get a little upset a few times when people referred to her as my granddaughter but i soon got over it, i have 2 sons who at the time she was born were 17 and 15, now she is 11 and they are 28 and 26, they spoil her rotten, she gets sleep overs at their houses, so i get quite a bit of free time :) she has a 5 year old nephew who absolutely adores her as she is young enough to play with him still, i can honestly hand on heart say i love being an older mum, i have less worries, there is less stress, and there are lots of free babysitting :)

Hi typo, I found your post very reassuring and it is lovely to hear that you love being an older mum. I don't think I really 'care' as such, it's just that having a new born and being just about one of the oldest mums on the block is all very new, as dc3 gets older I think, I will become less conscious of it. It's funny you should mention sleepovers - I can already imagine dc3 having sleepovers at dc1 home even though there is just 12 years difference. I am also very sleep deprived and things are affecting me probably more than they should because of it.