Full time, 34 weeks per year...bad for my child?

[Rarotonga]

I have a 16 month old gorgeous little boy, who I love dearly. We had a tough old start in many ways but we have come out the other side.

I went back to work when he was 13 months old. I went back 3 days per week as I thought that was a good balance: 4 days with him and 3 at work. My son has settled well with a child minder.

My job is in the public sector (NHS) and full on. I've always had to work way over my hours to keep up with my workload, and to give the children I work with a decent service. I am not doing very well at sticking to three days per week, checking & responding to my emails on my days off and doing work on those days and some evenings too. I am being paid for 22.5 hours per week but doing about 40+.

I have been offered a term time only post in an independent school. It is an amazing opportunity and means a substantial pay rise. The catch is the post is full time. Going forward I think this will be amazing for ds as I will be able to be with him throughout the holidays. I feel so guilty at this point though, is it too long to be without me at this stage in his development?

In effect he will be in child care for only half a day extra and will be with my mum for 1.5 days. He is very happy with my mum, she's great with him and she would be taking him for swimming lessons and other classes.

Everytime I look at him I feel guilty Just wondered if anyone else had any views/experiences.

Stop guilt tripping yourself! Loads of us worked full time when our kids were wee, and didn’t get the whole school holidays off as you’d be having. I got just six weeks leave per year as a hospital doctor. My kids had a day time nanny, then went to out of school clubs in the holidays when they were old enough. You’ll probably see more of yours, not less, if you’ve been doing all those unpaid extra hours. Go for it.

I work term-time only and went back full-time when dc2 was 8 months old. It's hardest when they're not yet at school, but gets much easier when they start reception. You do feel guilty at times (but I think all parents do whether they work ft, pt or are sahp). My biggest problem is that my house descends into absolute chaos over the course of each term as my dc are my priority when I am not at work! I think actually that all things considered you get more time to build memories than just having a day or two a week which would invariably fill with chores. If you have a dp than make sure you divide all the housework.

Term time jobs are like gold dust. Take it. You will smugly congratulate yourself in a few years time when your child is at school. Also - 34 weeks a year gives you 18 weeks a year when you are home with your child!

What everyone else said.

Also, you'll probably get reduced fees as staff, if that was something you'd be interested in...

I'll be going back to work full time when DD is 9 months old and just have 6 weeks AL to take with her throughout the year. She'll be in nursery otherwise. We've got to do what we've got to do to give them the best lives and for everyone it's different - for me it's working full time (not that I'm not envious of those who don't have to!), others it's part time or staying at home.

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with taking a full time job, especially one that's term time only and when he's 16 months too. We need to stop with the guilt.

Good luck

Is it school hours as well? ie - finishing at 3.30 ish? That would be awesome.

You're already working full time, the only difference is that you're only being paid for 3 days!

Take the job. Short term you'll feel bad but in a few years you'll also feel bad that you don't have all the holidays together and there are A LOT of school holidays.

He's at an age to develop his social skills as well

Thank you so much for the responses, feeling much better about it now

Rarotonga, I live in Denmark and it is by far the usual situation that both parents are working again after 12 months. The childcare subsidies are designed to make this the economical option for families.

It doesn't have any adverse affect on bonding or development. The Scandinavian countries are not full of distressed people struggling through life scarred by having to be apart from their parents after the first year. (Although yes, it's a shame that the option to be a SAHP isn't practical.)

The point is, your boy will be fine, your mum will form an even more lovely bond with him, and you'll have more money to spend on amazing experiences with him in the holidays :)

But you said your job now is practically full time anyway, so this is the equivilent plus you’ll get all the school holidays off too, which will be amazing, especially when he starts school!

I think it may actually work out better for you and your son. Go for it!

Absolutely go for it. When they're little granny is brilliant, when theyre older and have to go there in school holidays they don't always find it so appealing

Sounds ideal. 34 full weeks work and 18 off is probably more time off than you get now, just in blocks.

Also, will you be eligible for a fees discount so your DS could attend the school in a few years time? Something to consider, as presumably you are not ethically opposed to private education if you applied for a job there.

I would consider putting him in nursery one day a week in the holidays especially over the summer so he stays settled in nursery. This is what I do with my daughter.

Honestly op, go for it.
It will be so much better to have the school holidays.

Sounds ideal to me.

I would bite their hand off! I would live a term time job!