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How do you switch off

3 replies

NoLongerAskedForID · 15/07/2018 22:43

I'm mum to an adorable 8month old. He is a wonderful baby and I love spending time with him

The problem is, now it's 1030 on Sunday night, that I don't feel like I've enjoyed the weekend at all, despite having had lovely social occasions on both days.

I don't feel like myself. I feel as if I have one foot in the world of parenting and one tentatively stepping back into the world of socialising. When I'm away from my BF baby, I feel like I just want to rush back to him, then I feel embarrassed and spend a while trying to unsuccessfully immerse myself in my social group (I dont leave him that often and always with loving DH).

It's hard to explain... I just plan his days carefully in terms of feeding and naps to make sure he's had enough of both while fitting around our schedules. I pack his bag for every eventuality when leaving him with DH for the day. I prepare his food. What I SHOULD do is just walk out the door and enjoy myself but I can't, I just can't let go. So leaving him becomes stressful and once I'm away it's also mildly stressful.

DH and I are successfully sharing parenting so we both get time off but I feel like while DH truly enjoys his time socialising (as he should), I do not. It's an ordeal. Piled on top of this is the social paranoia that I'm boring and having nothing to contribute.

Oh what I mess I am! I think my hormones are all over the place and period is around the corner.

Has anyone felt like this??!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Betty74 · 15/07/2018 22:59

My husband will happily go off for a couple of days doing his hobbies (I am happy with this btw) but he doesn’t prepare anything or organise anything to make my life easier while he is away.
Like you, if I’m going anywhere, no matter how long for, I will organise food, entertainment (I have 3 kids including a baby) I could never bring myself to not do it.
It’s not very often I leave my kids, I don’t always want to. Sometimes I just get like ‘omg I need a break’ and will organise a girly day or something but the minute I get there I find myself phasing out of conversations and wishing I was at home. I know I sound rude but I like my mumma life.
My husband is a good dad but I just know how my kids like things done and how things tick over smoothly.
Xx

Knittedfairies · 15/07/2018 23:01

I don’t think you can ‘switch off’ really; you’re on stand-by wherever you are.

Mummymummymummmeeeee · 16/07/2018 08:13

I remember my first day back at work when DS1 was 6 months old, I hadn't left him at all before that, I felt sick and had stomach pains all day from the stress of separation anxiety (I do long days as well and was out for 12 hours), whereas at that age DS1 was fine as I left him at home with DH looking after him with a detailed written out routine! I think the only way it gets better is to keep doing it and you'll get used to it and hopefully then start enjoying it, same as we do if we have to try and get our children used to any change!!

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