4yo Ear Piercing

[GreenMeerkat]

My 4 year old (almost 5) keeps asking for earrings. She's using the argument that her friends at school have them (which some of them do). I am not a fan of ear piercing on babies and young children at all!

I have explained that it involves a big needle that will need to be put through her ear and that it would probably hurt, and I've shown her YouTube videos of other children having it done. She is still determined.

I'm not happy, but if she has decided this herself and knows all the facts, should I allow her to get it done? I'm not convinced she will actually cope once she sees the needle mind...

I'm afraid that I think pierced ears on children are appalling. So it's a no from me...

You are an adult, she isn't. You decide she doesn't have them done until she is older. End of discussion

I think it's fine but I'm not British , most on Mumsnet think it's barbaric 🙄 plenty of countries do it at birth....

Playing at the park just this week and my friend's 4yo ripped out her earring in a completely innocuous slip, my 6yo has now decided she'll wait a while after seeing the blood. I'm pleased because i don't want to have the arguments about cleaning and looking after the piercings.

Nope, you are the adult. Just keep saying no. I was asking my mum to have my ears pierced from about age 6, she finally let me at 14 when I was old enough to look after them myself.

It's a no from me too OP.

@SummerofDoom yikes! Yes I think my DD needs to be aware of things like this.

I'm fully prepared to say no, just running out of excuses short of 'it looks tacky' which I don't really want her repeating to her school friends (which she will!)

I think piercing a 5 year old’s eRa is pretty different to a baby. I don’t love the idea but if she was very determined I could see myself giving it.
Don’t forget to talk about the after care with her too!

@itsagranddayfordrying I don't like it on babies, I do think it's unnecessarily cruel. However if a child is aware of the facts and made the decision themselves I don't see the issue from a 'cruelty' point of view. I just don't think it looks very nice.

It would be a no from me.

I hate to see earrings on young children. Not necessary.

We used to have those plastic you kewleery kits with clip on earrings. Let her wear those for dressing up in the house?

But you're the adult.

I actually want my second hole in my lobe pierced so I might actually take her with me to watch. Hoping in vain that will put her off

How is she with teeth/hair brushing or hair washing? I would maybe make a link between looking after teeth/hair and piercings? If she is resistant to any of the above then I would make a deal along the lines of do x with no complaints for 2 months and we can look at piercing ears?

No from me too. She may well end up with only one pierced if she dislikes the pain! And yes, you're the adult.

@Blueemeraldagain she's absolutely fine with them. Washes her hair everyday without a fuss, no issues with teeth brushing. Hair brushing she tolerates but whines a bit if it's tangled, so no way she will cope with a needle!

I had my ears pierced when I was 4. I absolutely loved it and no harm came to my ears. However I was a fairly (probably very) sensible child so would have looked after them.

No. That's the answer. Why are you negotiating with a 4yo over something like this?

Not much chavier than a small child with pierced ears.

@FoxAndBear Yeah that's what I think when I see them

She's a small child. You just say no if you don't want her to have it done. No need for discussion or excuses.

My dd had lobbied for years and I relented in Y6. It was too much like hard work for her so she has pierced ears with no earrings.

I would say 4/5 is too young. Are the children at your DD's school allowed earrings? My DS is in YR and earrings aren't permitted.

I wanted mine done from a youngish age, had to wait til I was 11. I used to have the stick ons til then.

While it may be acceptable in some countries - I think in this country it marks a family out as being chavy - that fashion/looks is important in children. But that's a hard concept to explain to a 5 year old - so when mine mentions it - which she does because there are a few in her class that have them - I remind her about how they can catch on clothes when she's changing, or catch on branches/toys/equipment when she's playing out. Does she really want blood everywhere or be the kind of girl that can't run around/play with fun stuff, have to have help changing dresses and t-shirts... Suddenly she no longer wants pierced ears and is happy with her play clip ons...

I think as she gets older I need some images/you tube clips of what an ear looks like when an earring catches on something - that will be my next tactic.
In my head I have said she can have them done when she leaves primary - but will review that as time goes on - currently in reception...

Claire's do some cool clip on earrings. Can't believe I'm saying that.

Thanks @californiascreaming, I will try that!!