probably been done to death, but...

[harrassedmum]

apologies if you have read this all before, but after talking to a couple of mates about parenting i know we are not hte only couple who disagree on how we should bring the kids up, eg he likes to shout, i think its unnecessary and ignore bad behaviour/use naughty stair; i make dd eat properly, he lets her eat sweets all day and gives her pepsi at teatime to make sure she doesnt have a nap (i kid you not!) - Backfired though when she turned hyper on him and i was going out, he'll not do that again in a hurry! Anyway, me and mates all agree we tend to not back down and if necessary sulk. Has anyone got any more mature methods to resolve this or are we just fighting a loosing battle? btw, has anyone seen that programme where the working parents take it in turns to look after the kids on their own for a couple of weeks each? Would love get dp on that!

We had this problem- or should I say have, as it hasn't gone away. We both looked after the children in shifts. My biggest thing was TV. When I looked after them they watched a short amount of children's TV (Watch With Mother as it was) at lunchtime & teatime, with me, & we discussed the programmes. Then it went off. Once he took over he just sat them in front of any old thing (partic Japanese/American cartoons) so that he could "get on" with cleaning etc.

I used to try to get them involve in things like sorting washing, dusting & that sort of thing. He felt it was "quicker" to do it himself! (NOT the point!)

We had a huge row about it & he basically said that they were his children too & that his way was not wrong anymore than mine was automatically right. In the end we just had to agree to disagree. (and of course we now have teenagers who think they shouldn't have to lift a finger at home because it's "not their job" )

Sorry, not much help there.

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If you want to be sneaky about the sweets and pepsi, you could book a dental appointment for your daughter and then ensure her father has to take her. Phone up the surgery beforehand and explain that it would be helpful if they mentioned to sweets/pepsi in relation to strong teeth etc. My huband is much more likely to take on board the word of 'an expert' than anything I have to say on the subjectn - my expertise as a mother doesn't seem to count!

ooh sis, a deaf DH - that sounds spookily familiar!

like your style sis. I just make it clear to Dh that somebody has to have the final say and after any discussion I decide what happens with the children!! I love a man who knows his place

lol, glad its not just us! Sneaked her some pepsi before i went out today (just a bit) and he did complain that she played up when i was out. tallulah, that is exactly what he is like, and that is what i dread happening. And as for those books twiglet, ive tried but he just says 'huh, as if they know whats best for every baby though' Taking her to the dentist prob wont work, as shes a woman, so probably her opinion wont count. Men! How did you teach him to know his place? Can you give lessons?