What's your evening routine for your young toddler? Ours not working. Help!

[Chocolateismyvice]

My son is 16.5 months old and currently, our routine is not working for the evening. He gets up on average at 6.30 but can be as early as 5.30 or well after 7. He has breakfast about half hour after waking, lunch between 12.30-1pm. Typically has two naps a day but the afternoon has been hit and miss, or takes ages to settle. I have tried to drop it but something always throws a spanner in the works.

Onto the evening, from 5.30, we have quiet play time then...
6pm: dinner and pudding (yoghurt, sometimes with fruit)
6.35pm: more play time
7pm: upstairs for a bath which he loves so stays in there a while
7.30pm: runs around upstairs like the Energiser bunny while we have to chase him to dress, brush teeth, etc
8pm: bottle (upstairs) then settle to sleep.

However, he takes aaaaages to fall asleep and plays around with the curtains, monitor, pillows, walks around the bed(he's safe), tries to make you laugh, bounces, plays with your face, give and take with this comforter, etc. He just mucks around. We lay on the bed with them then put him in his cot once asleep and we basically remain silent, don't engage and pretend to sleep but he just doesn't want to sleep.

Last night, he finally went to sleep at 9.45 then awake again at 5.15am this morning!

He's a pure bundle of energy and has a 'second wind' in the evenings, no matter how tired he is!

I'm going to try changing his routine around and not making any major plans for the next few weeks while we establish it.

We usually eat at 6pm when his dad gets home from work but it's currently not working. I'd like to drop a nap so he's only having one big one after lunch and shift his dinner time earlier (about 5.15-5.30pm) then in the bath by 6.15pm.

Whatever we are doing now is not working. I love him to bits but this is every night, and my partner and I could do with a few evenings together as we get NO time. Not begrudging our boy at all but something has to change.

Any thoughts/tips/suggestions?
What's your evening routine with your toddler?
Sorry for the long post!

With the overtiredness, I know it's definitely not that. My son is literally a ball of energy from the second he wakes up unless he's eating or napping he just charges around at full speed all day long. When he's tired, he gets super cranky, wants to be held, whingy and clingy.

Okay, so, think we may have had a break through!! We are currently staying at ILs for the weekend (uncommon notion on MN but they're genuinely lovely, even his mum )

Last night he didn't go up until nearly 8pm due to late nap, playing with his grandparents, etc. Took him up for a bath, bottle and bed...asleep within 10 minutes first time in months. Tonight, tool him up for a bath at 6.20pm, he was asleep by 7pm (he's snoring next to me as I type!) It's occured me that in ILs house, they haven't yet put a stair gate upstairs (they live 1.5 hrs away so we don't see them super regularly and only a stayed a couple of times overnight so never been necessary). Because of this, we basically had to shut him in the bathroom for a bath then PJs, straight through to bedroom for bottle and has fallen to sleep without trying to play. In our house, he charges around between all of the rooms so has obviously been winding himself up then struggling to wind down again. It coincides with being able to full time about 3 months ago as running around is so much fun why this hasn't occurred to us before now I don't know anyway, we are now going to implement a strictly calm environment with no running around and shut the bathroom door etc.

I'm still going to follow a new routine of earlier tea, one big nap, etc as well. Thanks everyone

Should have said "being able to walk full time"

Good stuff OP! Sometimes it takes a change of scene to point out the obvious! Hope it all goes well when you’re back at home.

DD is nearly 16 months and we changed her routine recently as she wasn't settling for 7. She goes down like a dream now.

We only let her have 1 nap from 12-1.30ish, waking her at 2 at the very latest. Even if she's awake before 6am (although usually it's more like 6.40am). If she has a morning nap it throws everything out.

We do bath time 6.15ish. She loves it too and stands up, splashes about, makes loads of noise etc! Then dry, dress for bed and back downstairs for 15 or so mins of quiet wind down time in front of In The Night Garden. Totally against what any official advice would say but it works for us: she's settled and peaceful watching it.

Then upstairs, bottle of milk and to bed for 7.

Everything kept v calm, quiet, dim lighting etc from In The Night Garden onwards.

Good luck.

I would also say to combine both naps and make it earlier - say 1230 after an early lunch.
I would also shift tea/bath earlier and try to avoid the running around if you can.
Kids definitely seem to get a second wind if they’re not asleep by the time they’re knackered the first time and if you miss that they seem unstoppable!

Following with interest!
I have a 19mo and just transitioning to one nap (late I know but two naps is so handy in the day... less so at night!)
We're following nursery routine too, breakfast before 8, lunch before 12, nap after that, dinner at 5.30 with a snack mid-afternoon. Bath at 6.30, milk at 6.45, bed at 7.

Our dts are the same age and we've just come out of a couple of months like this. If they had a morning nap they didn't want an afternoon nap then we're overtired and couldn't settle at bedtime.
They have now transitioned to one nap and things have improved. So lunch early (11 am) in bed by 11.30 and they nap for a couple of hours. They need a decent snack by about 2 pm due to the early lunch. Tea at 5. Bath at about 6pm then bottle together in our room before putting them to bed. The last few nights they've gone to bed earlier (6.45) and have gone straight to sleep each time. They usually wake up just before 6 am which I would like to be a bit later but we've struggled with bedtime for so long I'm just pleased to have our evenings back!

At that age ds had 1 long nap just after lunch then was in bed by 6.45. The fact that your ds runs around like the energiser bunny could suggest over tiredness. My normally well behaved ds gets silly, shouty and hyper when he's tired.