Baby after loss

[AngelsAndRainbows]

My son was born in March last year at 28 + 3, we lost him at 18 days old. I now have a 3 1/2 week old daughter. It's been such a struggle trying to be a new parent to a beautiful little girl, as well as still grieving for my son. Has anyone else lost a child and then go on to have another? How did you find those first few weeks and months? It's so so hard.

No experience but just I’m absolutely sure you are doing a wonderful job as a new momma xx

Hi Angels, I am so sorry for your loss and I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Congratulations on the birth of your baby daughter x

I lost my little boy at 20 weeks three years ago and now have a four month old baby girl, so a bit more time has elapsed in my case.
I remember feeling raw up until about two years following his loss, the first year anniversary of his loss etc. felt particularly difficult, along with all those 'firsts' I still think about him most days and wonder what he would have been like and how our family dynamics might have been different but having dc3 has been very healing for me, especially as I thought my third pregnancy (ds) would be my last. That is to say ds could never be replaced but some of the sadness has lifted. I reconcile it in my mind that I have dd3 because ds died - I don't think I would have had dd3 if ds had survived. I have two older girls (5 and 12) and this is my last dc as I have just turned 44 - dd3 is a miracle child in more ways than one! The main thing now, is my anxiety levels - I am convinced that something bad will happen because having dd3 seems to good to be true and I don't take anything for granted. My heart melts when dd3 smiles but I think there is a tinge of sadness there too because I never got to see my ds smile etc. so there are a mix of emotions but mainly I think what I do is quickly acknowledge the grief and then enjoy dd as she is because time passes so quickly (a bit like stumbling and then climbing back onto my feet)
Also, when the going gets tough (sleeplessness etc.), I don't feel entitled to moan about how hard things can be but mainly I just feel grateful x One thing, I feel I'll never get to say, is that my family is complete because it never will be but it makes me enjoy the dcs I do have all the more x

Sorry for the long rambling post!