Assaulted at my in laws

[Scotgirl80]

My SIL has been mentally unstable for a very long time. She lives with her parents so whenever we visit the in laws she is there too. We have to stay with the in laws when we visit as we live far away from them and we cannot afford to stay in a hotel.

This evening my SIL physically attacked me for no reason. I had to leave the house in the middle of the night as she was calling me every name under the sun and my husband said it was best to leave for my own safety. I totally understand that my SIL probably didn’t grasp the seriousness of her actions due to her illness but my MIL is refusing to accept that her daughter attacked me and basically said I was lying. Luckily my husband witnessed the attack but she still won’t believe it. My MIL witnessed her daughter shouting, swearing and screaming at me but she still says her daughter would never attack me. This is the second time her daughter has attacked me, the first time she threw an object at me (whilst I was holding my son) but thankfully it missed so we were not hurt. I was sure my MIL saw it but she never said anything so I presumed she didn’t see so I didn’t say anything. The issue I now have is I have a small child who I always felt uncomfortable being around my SIL. I’m now refusing point blank to let my SIL near my son as she clearly is very unpredictable. The issue I have is I still want my son to have a relationship with my my MIL and FIL (he is their only grandchild) but I just can’t trust them anymore. My MIL keeps saying my SIL would never do anything to my son but she also is insisting her daughter would never do anything to me either when she has twice. It feels so wrong to say my son and I will no longer go to their house as long as my SIL is there but I feel like I have no other choice. My husband totally understands and is backing my decision but I just feel so bad for them not being able to build a relationship with their only grandchild. I have said to them they are more than welcome to see my son at my house without my SIL however they can’t leave SIL with anyone and my in laws are old and can't travel far. I feel so crap right now but at the same time my gut is telling me I have to protect my son and not let my SIL be around him. What would you do in my situation?

If she's attacked you before whilst HOLDING your son, why on earth did you go back with your child, knowing what she's capable of?

Not trying to be goady at all, just gobsmacked! Or have I misunderstood?

Of course you are trying to goad, BeenFoolishYetAgain. New username and at least two deletions today. Is the heat getting to you or have you had a bad week?

This first time she did it I thought I would give her the benefit of doubt as she said was just playing around. It is obviously odd for a mature person to play around but being mentally ill I thought it could just have been an error of judgment. Obviously if I was sure she meant it I wouldn't let my son be around her at that point.

In my personal experience not having a relationship with Grandparents, especially if they live a long way away, isn’t a big deal to a child, obviously it would be nice to have that relationship but it isn’t essential so don’t feel bad on that account.

Your and your child’s safety have to come first and hopefully if your parents in law see that then it might push them to get SIL some help.

Is she in the mental health system OP?

Do you think she is violent with your IL's?

I would not be in the same room with her until something changes.

I am glad you won't be going back with ds, it is an unsafe place, yiur PILs will do nothing to ensure yiur safety.

@NotTakenUsername Excuse you?

I have had one deletion which MNHQ understood why I said what I said! Also I have NOT changed my username!

I have asked a perfectly valid question! Please stop stalking me or you will be reported!

Cool story bro.

Just to let you know, NotTaken it was I who reported you, so if your snarky Troll Hunting post disappears, don't try to blame BeenFoolish

And no, I am not her sock, but you were Troll Hunting - and that isn't allowed!

There’s a difference between troll hunting and calling out goady posts.
I thought that post was incredibly unfair to the op.
I suppose we all interpret things differently and if mnhq see it as breaking talk guidelines then I’m sure they will delete, as they of course should.

It’s not you choosing for them not to have a relationship. It’s your protecting your son. From her and from them. If they are willing to lie to cover up for her then they won’t protect him. He is your priority. Better to piss them off and him have no relationship than to regret it if she does something to him or if MIL/FIL covers up for her on something serious.

I was going to say what Betrand said, I'm glad your dh is already on it.

I should imagine his parents are very scared and worried what will happen in the coming years. It is difficult for them to admit to themselves that their dd may be a danger to others. They are no doubt exhausted and worried. I'm glad your dh is going to see what support he can get for them all.
Of course you need to protect your little one, but some of the comments on here are showing very little understanding or empathy.

Some people appear to have no idea what living with a person with mental illness can be like. I find this profoundly depressing. Of course the OP should keep her child safe, but once she has done that, her next priority should be helping her do support his parents and his sister in what sounds a horrible situation.

If the GPS want a relationship with their grandson they can meet up without SIL (if she can be left alone or with just 1 parent for a while).

You are not stopping the relationship, you are just protecting your child by saying he cannot be near SIL.

you & your husband are doing the right thing I was going to suggest the same thing as someone else ie finding somewhere to stay nearby that the parents individual can visit or going out to park or other outing. We use to stay at self catering cottage -it was easier & you could provide tea & kiddie can play - a more homelike situation

Thanks to everyone for all your comments.

As a lot of you suggested, DH had a chat with his family. This in turn threw my SIL into another rage. Long story short, she had to be sectioned. Obviously she is very ill but at least is now getting the help she needs.