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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

6 year old just can’t entertain himself

10 replies

parrotonmyshoulder · 07/07/2018 20:36

His older sister could at this age so it can’t be that I’m just totally useless at raising children, I hope. House full of toys, art stuff, tv etc. I play with him a lot, plus walks, bike rides, swimming etc. But every weekend, if we’re not out, he asks all day ‘what are we doing next?’ Or ‘play with me, mummy’ or worse ‘you never play with me, mummy’. I have to do stuff sometimes!

He’s happy when his sister plays with him, but she doesn’t always want to.

I sound like a bitch. A bit exhausted this evening.

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PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 07/07/2018 20:38

Mine's discovered the delights of colouring. I haven't been able to take him out all week because he's had chickenpox.

BertieBotts · 07/07/2018 20:39

What happens if you just say "Mummy's busy, you can do whatever you like until 3 but you're not to ask me or your sister for anything".

My guess is he will grump and flop for about 20 minutes and then miraculously find something to do.

Original poster

parrotonmyshoulder · 07/07/2018 20:41

I handed him his spellings this morning...he soon started playing with his (brand new!) birthday presents!

I just feel so guilty.

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6 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

bookmum08 · 07/07/2018 20:43

A box of Lego bricks is usually a good one. Not a set that has instructions but a big box of classic bits. Say "build me a house" and then say you are just popping to the loo - and don't go back. Hopefully that will keep him busy.

BertieBotts · 07/07/2018 20:46

Why? It's good for them to learn to entertain themselves for a bit. DS is a bit like this - he's super social so he would much prefer to be doing things with somebody else but you do have to do other things sometimes and also your own alone time is important.

A parent's job is to raise children, not to entertain them every waking moment of the day.

chickedychicked · 07/07/2018 20:52

my DS is exactly like this. He can't go longer than 5 minutes without coming to me and asking to play or to watch T.v. When he's with someone else though he doesn't sit down, he's non stop.
His younger sibling plays very well on her own all day long, but he follows me everywhere! it's infuriates me sometimes.
Even when kicking a ball outside he'll stop and say it's boring because he's on his own. I think some kids are just better than others at playing by themselves

Original poster

parrotonmyshoulder · 07/07/2018 20:57

Why guilty? Because I’m an idiot!

Thanks for your helpful tips and reassurance, all of you. I wish he had some friends in the street, but there aren’t any other kids. DD loves reading - perhaps he’ll
love it too when he can do it by himself. But maybe not. They’re different. I think he needs the reassurance of other people a lot.

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Chocolateismyvice · 07/07/2018 21:10

My son is only 1 so take this with a pinch of salt but I think it's GOOD for children to be bored and learn how to entertain themselves. Please don't feel guilty. It'll be good for him to learn how to occupy himself.

Have a look on Pinterest or Google for 'Im Bored Jar' lots of good ideas.

Original poster

parrotonmyshoulder · 07/07/2018 21:20

I agree it’s good to be bored.
I think I asked the wrong question, if I asked one. My problem is more that I feel so crap because he’s so needy.

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BertieBotts · 07/07/2018 21:41

TBH I feel like with DS it's actually more important for me to give him the space to work out how to entertain himself alone rather than letting him rely on other people (or screens which is his usual fallback) all the time - it's a useful skill he'll need in life and it's something he obviously struggles with, so he needs more practice and space to develop it without me fixing it for him all the time.

He is 9 now and is still prone to flopping, proclaiming "I'm boooooored", asking us to do stuff with him/whether we can go out and do things, even sometimes on days we've already done stuff together! But he is better at finding things to do, he will read if he's in the mood, I've got him various books with tasks in them - either school type workbooks (which I expected to be a battle but actually he loves them!) or things like drawing books. He's not a big fan of colouring. We started doing some puzzles together recently and then he couldn't resist doing some himself when I was taking too long. We set him up with an account on Scratch (kids' coding site) and he went through all of the tutorials on that.

I think at some point I got him a notebook and asked him to list all the things he could think of doing when he was bored in it so he could come back and look at that. I doubt he still has the list but the idea is still there.

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