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Parenting

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Original poster

AAARGH. Dd wetting her pants, driving me MAD

12 replies

tortoiseSHELL · 26/05/2007 16:55

She really is driving me nuts. She is 3.8, has been potty trained for 9 months, trained really easily. She refuses to go to the toilet on her own, but generally asks when she needs to go EXCEPT she has just started wetting her pants 3 or 4 times a day. Never ever if we're out, or at playgroup, but at home she just can't be bothered to go. So she wets her pants a bit, then I take her, but our washing machine can't keep up. It's not 'puddles all over the floor' just 3 or 4 pairs of pants a day.

IT'S DRIVING ME MAD.

We've done marble jars, ignoring the wetting, telling her off for the wetting, taking her to the toilet, trying to persuade her to go on her own. She just saunters in singing 'I've wet my pa--ants'

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PandaG · 26/05/2007 17:06

was going to suggest pasta jar or sticker chart, but you've doen that. Would just leaving her in the wet pants for a while be too draconian? Or how about you just ask her every 30 mins when you are at home, so she hos athe chance to realise she needs to go?

Original poster

tortoiseSHELL · 26/05/2007 17:22

I could try that. She knows exactly when she needs to go, she's just lazy! She'll stand there going 'I'm going to wet my pants, I'm wetting my pants now'.

OP posts:

evenhope · 26/05/2007 17:34

My DD was like that and it eventually really destroyed our relationship because she always stank and I couldn't bear having her near me With hindsight I should have put her back in nappies and ignored it. Is this an option?

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DrNortherner · 26/05/2007 17:43

It's so annoying isn't it?

I'm sorry to say my ds is 5 and still does this. It drives me mad. If I left him in wet pants he would not care.

I am thinking about a trip to GP to rule out an infection. Although he is dry throuh the night.

Original poster

tortoiseSHELL · 26/05/2007 18:09

I'm not going to put her back in nappies - it's only a little bit of damp on her pants, and like I say, she only does it at home. It's not puddles on the floor, just enough to necessitate changing the pants. I wonder if school in September will sort it out for me, it just feels quite a long time till then!

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PizPizPiz · 26/05/2007 20:00

A friend of mine's son used to do the same but with poo (was roughly the same age). Her gp suggested involving him in the pants cleaning, so that he knew what a hassle it was for mummy. That seemed to improve the problem. Don't know it it cured it completely though.

gemmiegoatlegs · 26/05/2007 20:05

i agree with pizPizPiz, get her to help in the cleaning. My ds did this sometimes when he was on the naughty step, but i left him until his three minutes are up and then make him help to clean it.
I think its valuable for her to see that her actions have consequences for her as well. And also , you say you have tried many different ways of dealing with this. Whatever you decide, i think you should be consistent as all the changes are probably confusing your dd

Original poster

tortoiseSHELL · 26/05/2007 20:18

Thanks for the replies. It's so annoying! Piz Piz, I will try that, that's a really good idea. PandaG, I think the asking her every 30 mins is probably a good idea as well, just to get her out of the habit of it. Gemmiegoatlegs - you might be right about confusing her, but I think she knows EXACTLY what she is doing, and is quite calculating about it!

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luciemule · 26/05/2007 20:25

Why not try leaving her in the wet knickers - I'm sure she won't like that and see if she takes herself off to finish.
It seems like she's trying to get your attention and then you end up having to take her to the loo so if you leave her for a few mins and just say "mummy's busy", she might take herself off and do the wee. You could also leave a spare pile of knickers near the loo for her to do. She might soon get bored having to change herself and just stop on her own.

chatelskier · 27/05/2007 05:53

What about some trainer pants. They wouls be horridly uncomfortable if you left them on wet, and would also contain any spread!

SofiaAmes · 27/05/2007 06:22

Dd went through a few phases of this. In my dd's case in retrospect the wetting phases seemed to occur when something stressful was going on (like when we moved from the uk to the usa, and when she started at a new nursery). I think she really just needed a little extra cuddling and to be treated a little more like a baby and this was her way of telling us. The couple of times that this did happen it only lasted a few weeks and then she was fine after that. I tried not to make a big deal out of it and just brought a few changes of underwear along where ever we went. And I tried to give dd extra attention, but tried not to associate it with when she was wetting herself so that she wouldn't continue to think it was an effective attention getting scheme.
Also, I have known children (particularly girls) to start wetting themselves like this (long after they have been toilet trained) and it turns out to be due to a urinary tract infection (so make sure you check that there is no fever and her urine is not cloudy).

YeahBut · 27/05/2007 06:34

Second SA, I'd take a sample to the GP to rule out a UTI.

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