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Toddler not eating nursery

17 replies

Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 08:47

My 2.5 year old does to nursery 3 days a week from 8.00am to 1.00pm. We are having issues with her eating - she has been attending since April this year, and at first we thought she wasn't eating the nursery breakfast/snack/lunch due to being too shy and out of her comfort zone (we live in a studio so she is always with us), but she still isn't eating their food now. We are paying £9 a week for the breakfast and lunch (£1 bf, £2 lunch per day) that is not being eaten. We are also sending her in with a packed lunch for them to try her with if she refuses their food - she comes back with her packed lunch refused too!

We get her up at 6.00am and leave the house at 7.50am. During this time she is also refusing her breakfast, so she ends up going to nursery on nothing more than her water and vitamin tablet! Then doesn't eat there and comes home at 1.00pm with an empty tummy. I don't know why??

I'm wondering if the fact she still has a bottle of milk to go to bed with at around 7pm, and another bottle of water-diluted milk around 12pm/1am. She will not go to sleep at night without the milk, and wakes in the night crying, saying "milk", but we dilute it so she isn't as full in the morning for her breakfast. Sad

I just feel so guilty having her not eating properly 3, days a week Blush

What can I do?

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Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 08:49

And I would stop paying for the breakfast at nursery but feel I have to keep asking them to get her a breakfast because she isn't eating one at home! I'm just wasting money but it seems mean not to buy her one when she's not eating ours

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Havetothink · 05/07/2018 11:26

Too much milk in the night certainly can't be helping, maybe offer her a small amount and say if she still thirsty she can have water afterwards, and only water if she wakes again. It's also very bad for teeth to drink milk in the night unless you're brushing each time. I would be strict about it and consistent, then offer milk in the morning if she wants it. It sounds more like she's drinking it for comfort than anything else so perhaps a comforting light/music toy could be introduced instead.

I personally would keep paying for the breakfast and then give her lunch when she gets home, maybe pack a few snacks for the nursery to offer instead.

Havetothink · 05/07/2018 11:34

Maybe ask them to offer breakfast later in the morning if cutting back on the milk at night doesn't encourage her to eat it. Are you offering the milk in a cup btw or is it like a babies bottle?

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TittyGolightly · 05/07/2018 11:37

How is she at weekends? Does she eat “normally” when with you?

My daughter didn’t eat lunch when she started school (aged 3) because they gave it to them at 11:30am. We switched to packed lunches, which she generally ate after 3:30pm.....

Kids won’t generally starve themselves for fun.

TittyGolightly · 05/07/2018 11:38

Also, remember that food is one of the few things in life that toddlers have any control over. She may just be reacting to changes in life (new nursery etc)

InDubiousBattle · 05/07/2018 11:42

Is she toilet trained? A friend of mines little girl refused food in the morning because she didn't want to go to the toilet at nursery.

fuzzyfozzy · 05/07/2018 11:51

Will she eat when you're out and about, will she eat if you leave her with friends/family?
Will she go to the toilet in those places too?

fuzzyfozzy · 05/07/2018 11:54

And does she look forward to going to nursery, as in this may be a form of control.

InDubiousBattle · 05/07/2018 12:34

What have the nursery said and done?

Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 13:58

We have an appointment on 12th July for her integrated health review with health visitor.

The nursery just say that they sit her downwards ith everyone else and encourage her to eat but often she will have a bite and then refuse anymore or just not at all. They assume she will get better with more time.

She eats at home on non-nursery days better than her nursery days. She says bye-bye in the morning and walks to nursery with no issues, but then cried at every drop-off. But when I pick her up she is happily playing with her new friend there etc, so I think it's just she's super attached to us. If you ask her if she would like to go to nursery, it's 50/50 whether she will moan and day no, or nod. Sometimes she will point at the nursery while we walk past to the park and moan because she wants to go in there.

She is not toilet trained yet. She has only started in the past few months to let us know she has pooed or done a wee, before she wouldn't care but she notifies you now and is attempting to wipe when I change her etc, but does not like using the potty. She always would wee on her dad after the shower when drying her hair so we put her on the potty instead, and she stopped doing the after-shower wee. Nursery say start potty training ready for 3 years old and they will help, but they are not concerned she is not trained at present.

She often does not want to eat when she is "busy" doing her own thing or in a mood - when she's in a mood she will ask for a comforter and then throw it away again when you've given it to her, so... But sometimes you have to just get a little taste of it in her mouth and then she stops resisting. Like once she tastes it she sometimes thinks 'mm that's quite nice actually' but not sure if nursery do that with her.

The milk I know is a problem. Her dentist said her teeth are fine though. She doesn't have any milk all day, just water, then her milk in a bottle at night. We did try a cup for her diluted-milk/water night bottle but she can't drink from that lying down so will refuse it.

I know it's more a comfort thing, the bottle of milk, but nothing else seems to work! It's also not like she has her own bedroom where we can leave her to settle, it's all one room. I try stroking her and just sitting with her, and she has her comforter...

She is a healthy weight etc, not overweight and not underweight. She is quite big for her age though, people mistake her for a 3 year old.

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BarryTheKestrel · 05/07/2018 14:07

My 3 year old also doesn't really eat at nursery. She's there 9-5 one day a week and will eat 3 pieces of orange at snack time and maybe a bite or two of lunch and supper but otherwise isn't interested.

She won't eat before nursery as she hates eating early but she'll eat a huge meal when she gets home.

Honestly I wouldn't worry all that much as long as she is eating normally when you pick her up. Some kids are fussy and don't like eating in the nursery environment, she isn't there full time so she isn't not eating 12 hours a day, 5 days a week etc.

diedyediedye · 05/07/2018 14:09

My 2.5 year old doesn't eat lunch at nursery either but she has breakfast at home, eats a morning snack and then the yoghurt after lunch so I'm not worried about her being hungry. Thing is with children they will eat when hungry.

Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 14:21

I think I'm just worrying too much... Her dad also is very fussy and gets "upset" if he thinks he's sending her in on an empty stomach to them not eat. She also doesn't like eating early like yours Barry, but if she's really cranky if I wake her any earlier.

We are trying to get some black out blinds as we feel this might help her settle into a more peaceful sleep at night, so she will wake up hungrier. We did try music toys when she was younger as a smoother, but she just found it too distracting - she would talk to the device or sing with it.

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Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 14:22

Wow all those spelling mistakes... Sorry!! I'm rushing Blush

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fuzzyfozzy · 05/07/2018 14:53

I was a childminder and I had one child who would eat one meal a day with me, Mum and I talked it through and we decided to leave him be.
If you're happy sending her, then I wouldn't bother with the extra packed lunch if you're happy with their menu.
But I wouldn't mention it to your dc either, don't make it a thing.
Although I'd maybe mention to her what's for their lunch when you get there, see if giving her time to think about the meal may help.
Do they do cooking there, would she eat that.

Lalalala3 · 05/07/2018 17:39

Do they do cooking there, would she eat that

They have a variety of meals, on a two week rotation.. I did have the list but seem to have misplaced it, lots of meat and rice and veg, cooked on site there. Fruit for snack. Cereals and toast for breakfast.

I think I'll just keep trying her with breakfast, stop the packed lunch and just send a small snack with her. If she doesn't eat the lunch, she will have small lunch at home after just gone 1pm anyway, so I guess I am just worrying about a small thing :) sorry

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fuzzyfozzy · 05/07/2018 19:44

Sorry I meant cooking as an activity. Whether she'd eat something she's been involved in.

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