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where am I going wrong?

4 replies

meto · 26/05/2007 11:21

DS is 15 months old. going on 15 years old. I realise he's probably frustrated at not making himself very well understood which isn't helping, but at the minute we have complete meltdowns if something he's not ment to have is taken away from him, if he doesn't want to do something quite literally he will fling himslef on the floor, head in his hands and then scream at the top of his lungs. i've tried ignoring him (thinking any attention will show him that's the way to get attention iycwim) destraction makes it worse. normally these will last 5 mins or so once he's calmed down then he has a cuddles etc and a calm voice and will then go off and play. I do also try to distract him with a differnt toy/swop items etc if taking something away from him sometimes it works sometimes not.

sleeping he's being a nightmare we have had so far 1.5 hours of screaming/climbing up at the bars for about a month now - and i'm so drained and fed up of it all now. he climbs up at the bars I go in lay him back down - bed time night nights etc he gets up screams I go in it's a circle as soon as I walk to the cot he smiles and lays down which gets me angry with myself. failing that we have the i'll scream till you pick me up and cuddle me then i'll scream when you lay me down again. until about a month ago he was an angel for sleeping. he really was good. can teething really be going on for this long? i've tried him having 1 nap and 2 naps p/d either way the night time is the same he won't go to sleep til he's ready ( last week has been 8.30) or later. esp when going to bed at 7pm it's got beyond now.

he can be the most loving and sweet little boy in the world and I adore him, but a tthe minute i'm not sure if I like him very much or not, and I feel awful saying and typing that i'm tired all the time and completely worn out. what else can I do/is this a phase that will pass hopefully in the next few weeks? do I need to be firmer with boundries or something I honestly don't know anymore what to do.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
meto · 26/05/2007 11:22

(90% will last for shorter periods a minute or so it just feels like they last for that long - it's made worse by the fact he had an episode at eh cm's and I felt like the worst mother in the world )

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pirategirl · 26/05/2007 11:36

as you prob know, cos you have tried, there is no quick fix or easy answer. I just wanted to say that you are not alone, and i remember going thru similar, and having times when i thought i would gladly chuck my dd out the window, for some rest.

Its a huge strain, isnt it.

I still have sleep issues with my daughter, and she's 5, not to scare you but, they do go thru phases, and some are just more senstive thanothers, and they cannot get to sleep, or they are just canny, and try and get you to just be with them. which in itself is entirely normal, cos mummy is their best friend, their everything!!

I was forever going back upstairs, then we tried to leave her to cry it out, and that really was hell. We would be strong one night, and give in to the helpless wailing the next. Guilt trips seemed to be our daughter's speciality.

You just have to ride it, and then sometimes you'll just realsie that its got a bit better, whatever you decide to do. I know this is not much practical help, but your thread touched me, as I know how upsetting it was, and soul destroying.

meto · 26/05/2007 11:46

thanks pg. you've started me off crying now! lol. today we're going back to his old routein - don't think it's helping all this chopping nad changing etc. to see what happens - i'm torn between thinking he'll obv change as and when etc re the routein and also thinking it's my own fault for not being 'firmer' as his routein has always been fairly relaxed - we shuffle things around to suit, but now I have a little job in the afternnons his nap times have to be earlier so I think all this is unsettlaing him as well (althou only just started the job so it isn't the cause iycwim)

when I look at him in his cot I feel so guilty about the day and thinking I wish you'd leave me alone or what ever cos once he's asleep - same old chestnut he's so peaceful.

it's just he constant 24/7 attention and doing what he wants all the time. it's exhausting. am going to try more activities with him - but lack of funds does restrict it to an extent esp when naps are around 11 and most play things are from 10 till noon ish

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meto · 26/05/2007 15:12

so far so good for today - just hope he does ok tonight. have found him particually amusing today thou. lol.

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