When is the best time to die?

[EngiNerd]

I have a 19 month old and currently 19 weeks pregnant. If I were to die shortly after birth my children probably won't have any memories of me. Would this be the best time to die for their sake?

, OP.

Talk to your best friend. Talk to your mum. She may be sad but she'll be pleased you told her. Is she practical? Will she be able to help you?

Don't do marriage counselling with your husband - it's not recommended with an abuser. Why is he angry all the time? Sounds awful.

I bet you'd feel much happier living by yourself with your dc.

My mother died when I was a small child. I have few memories of her but the gap her death has left in my life will never be filled. Your children need you

You could also consider talking to women's Aid

Speak to your mum, explain to her how unhappy you are, and about your abusive angry husband. Hopefully she will support you, and help you to get out of this appalling relationship. You need to be here for your children, and your DM will want to be here for you.

www.samaritans.org/

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/

Please call someone who can help you, OP. You need some real support

When I look back to when I was married with small children, and remember the self-destructive thoughts and plans I had, I can't believe that I allowed any situation to beat me down so much. Leaving was hard, but it sorted my head out. You can't think straight when you're under intense pressure, which you are at the moment.

When you’re 101, surrounded by grand/great grand babies and your children. Reflecting on the amazing life you’ve all had once you kicked your ex-DH out all those years ago

Please talk to your Mum Enginerd: I would hate for my kids to keep something like this from me.

Oh OP you sound like you’re having a really tough time, I’m glad you’re going to talk to someone about how you’re feeling.

Talk to your best friend, and your Mum (she’ll want to be there for you from the sound of it) and anyone else who can give you RL support.

You can get through this

Hi there Enginerd,
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, Eng, and we really hope things start to look up for you soon. Speak to your friend, speak to your mum, they love you and want you, and as you have seen MNers are a tremendous bunch too. Much love.

It sounds like neither you or your husband are happy with the current situation. People are very quick to say leave him and if you need to you should, but I think you were right when you mentioned marriage counseling as a first step. Perhaps a talk with your husband would help, tell him how down you feel and ask if he feels down too? You should really talk to someone closer to home, your mum or a friend so they can give you support or rest. Pregnancy tends to magnify problems and feelings so it's important you try and look after yourself and you have someone to talk to, even if it's just for a bit of a moan. Don't worry about upsetting anyone else, it's natural for people who care to empathise and I guarantee they would rather you spoke to them and they cry with you than you saying nothing and carry on suffering alone