Really need a handhold but probably don't deserve one.
I have two DC's. DS4 and a 10 week old DD. Different dad's, both long term relationships, both left me for other people within weeks of DC's being born. Neither have to pay child maintenance because they are students.
Without going into detail I've had a hard life. Some horrific things happened to my family before my DC's were born and a few weeks ago another horrific thing happened to our family. (Can't go into detail) but I'm extremely depressed. I'm not a good mum at the moment. Not sure if I ever have been. I've tried to get help. God knows I'm trying to be a good mum. But it's just all going to shit. Ive had multiple shit jobs the last 4 years and have attempted my first year of uni twice. Cocked up this year after the horrific thing happened.
Now have no real income as no longer have a student loan and I don't get Mat pay because I wasn't at my last job long enough.
We're poor, I'm miserable and my kids deserve better.
I know this is just a bad day and it'll get better but fucking hell its so hard. Feels like I'm just treading water and slowly but surely totally exhausting myself until I can't do it anymore.
😓😓😓