I feel overwhelmed and so alone

[Mk1234]

I have no family and very few friends, my baby is 7months. My husband is always at work i have to deal with the baby all the time even on the rare occasion where he is at home. He never perseveres with baby he just says i cant do it u do it, then walks off fustrated , he has said that im the babys mums its my 'job' to deal with it, he will always say this in an argument cz he knows it annoys me. Earlier this evening i asked him to try and feed baby food as ive been struggling for the past 2 weeks with weaning, he reluctantly took it and tried to give baby one spoon but baby kept crying, So husband gave up trying ,he got up and went to make babys milk, i saw him making it and said baby needs to have food now you cant just give him milk all the time otherwise he wont learn how to eat and feed himself. Husband kept saying you know i never want my baby to ever cry. My husband's parenting skills are non existent. I worry about what he will do when i go back to work. We ended up having an argument as always and he swore at me and spoke to me like crap, i asked him why he thinks it ok to speak to me like that he kept hurling abuse at me he got up to my face and started squaring upto me and belittling me and pushing me out of the way. He stormed downstairs got his keys to leave. I get anxious everytime bcz i he feel like he will leave me and i feel like he knows this anxiety. He knows i have no one and will use all that he knows against me when angry. He does not show me any respect at all and will speak to me like nothing in arguments it makes me feel like nothing. I do everything for this man but i feel like he takes me for granted. He is loving and kind most of the time however when he is angry he is a vile repulsive man I hate that my baby is so used to us having arguments that he know stared and laughs s when he hears us shout cz he thinks its a game. I recently found out my husband took a loan out behind my back. He always lies, i feel that if he was honest about who he was when i met him i would never have ever got with him. I pray that my life gets better as i have no one apart from my baby boy.

oh bella. You both need some confidence. Having a baby is a lot to get the head around, and he doesn't know what to do. So you have to show him and encourage him, and this way you will start to behave more as a unit and team.

His abusive and disrespectful nature sound to me to come out of fear, are you guys super young? Please can you keep a dairy, see how this goes. From my side, I'd say get in contact with your family/chosen friends and get them onboard. Do you have anywhere to go? Can you chuck him out.......... HE doesn't sound like he is bringing much to the table.

Worried you sound isolated and lonely. Make your social group wider........ Wish you well.

Could you go to a baby weaning group together or something, something to give him confidence when dealing with the baby?

Thank you for taking the time to read my long message. Im 30 my husband is 33. He seems to think that he knows it all as he will continuously tell me he has done it with all his neices and nephews. Everthing he does is always done haphazardly and rushed. Even putting a nappy on baby ive shown him how to put it on properly and why, whenever he does babys nappy he doesnt fix the sides of nappy properly so baby will always leak. he just thinks im being controlling and everthing needs to be my way. I just hate his tantrums its easier dealing with babys one then his. Friends and family are a no g as he is anti social and does not get on with anyone. We both have bad relationships with our families and he will always use this against me as i still care about mine dispite what they did to me. He will say things like no one loves you, only i do. I feel like all his negativity is bashing out the little bit of confidence i have, and that is reflected on to my baby. I cant walk away as i have nowhere to go. This is my second marriage i left first one after 4 months as he and his family were abusive to me. I dont want my marriage to end again and for my baby to be fatherless like i was. I feel like my husband uses my insecurities against me. I just hate it when he gets his key's in an argument i get that gut wrenching feeling cz i think hell leave me.right now he is at work and i feel sick cz i dont know if hell come back home.

I'm not sure what to say regarding your relationship. It sounds like he's being very unreasonable but if you can't reason with him it's hard and even harder with a baby. For the weaning, I would suggest you chill out. I struggled so much with DD1 and weaning because I got wound up about it. DD2 was a breeze because I let her lead it. Have you tired giving finger foods instead of something on a spoon like peas or chunks of fruit in suitable sizes so that baby can feed himself and it's fun! If you can relax a bit with the baby maybe things will improve all round. I hope so xxx

Getting his keys is an empty threat. He won't go really, just does it to make you back down and be subservient again.

I had a friend like it, her OH went to walk out during arguments, she'd start crying and begging him not to leave. He got her right where he wanted. Then one day he went to leave and she said all right, see you later then. 20 mins later he was back, tail between legs, mumbling some bollocks about no local hotels available and sulking up the stairs. That was the start of the scales falling from her eyes and leaving the twat.