Son showing racist tendancies

[lifesteeth]

I don't know how to put this...

My 6 year old son has recently (past year or so) started to show some quite racist tendancies, he refers to black people as "chocolate people" (and always gets told off for it) and makes other underhand comments about non-white people.

If he see's chinese people he distorts his eyes and takes the micky out of the way he thinks they talk.

They had an indian day at school last week and in my eldest sons class there is a girl from Egypt, my 6 year old went up to her and said "bet you're looking foward to indian day" with a bit smirk on his face.

Today he was throwing leaves at the same girl and kicked a puddle at her elder brother whilst making sly references to the way he spoke.

I am very anti-racism so he is NOT getting this from me or this house, is it just a phase or something more serious?

I might be being naive but for your 6 year old to talk to the Egyptian girl like that sounds like throwaway comment rather than calculated "ha, you are of ethnic origin, I am going to class you with the other ethnic origin I know of and thereby undermine you both" variety, which would be quite a sophisticated train of thought for a 6 year old. IYSWIM. Was it a smirk or an embarrassed smile - want to say something to this girl but not sure what type smile?

The other stuff he must be picking up from people at school - you are right to watch it but I wouldn't necessarily describe it as racist as that's an attitude he's probably not old enough to have learned yet. It could still be just inappropriate copying that you need to gently steer him away from.

Hope that's not too blithe.

When I saw a coloured person for the first time I told my mum 'look at the chocolate lady' my mum explained that it was the first time I'd seen anyone of that race and that I liked chocolate.Guess what she took it as a compliment because of that.
Sometimes 6yr olds don't realise that they have said anything wrong.Just talk to your child and explain why what he is saying/doing is wrong and that he needs to stop.Also try to find out if he has been told /heard these kind of comments from anyone.Then at least you might be able to stop that person influencing what your child does/thinks.

Well, he's almost certainly picking up this attitude or copying comments from his friends/classmates.

Have you seen any of this type of behaviour in his friends?

I feel really uncomfortable reading this.

I'm not saying it's not true, but it seems very like someone is showing him exactly how to be racist.

My dd is almost 6 & has no idea about racism.

How sad that he is so aware of peoples differences at 6

I agree that he is seeing it somewhere, I expect in his peer group.
We are very non racist in this house and my ds has never ever shown signs of racism, infact at age 6 his beat friend was a muslim (Syrian) boy from a very devout family.

Agree with Mercy. This is copied behaviour. I would speak to his teacher in the first instance.

lifesteeth, I am appalled about this latest blow that you have suffered
I have followed your past threads about weight and man issues and the problems
that your son was experiencing and I have to say:
you must be going through a very difficult time.
Good on you for still managing to sound strong in your posts.

Previously I didn't feel I could offer much support but - as a bit of an ethnic
myself (I find having a sense of humour helps me deal better with this phenomenon) -
I would say what you are describing goes beyond a tendency.

It sounds quite sophisticated, almost like someone has spent a bit of time teaching
him. Do you know who that could be?

Thanks for the replies, this has come as a big suprise to me because as I said, I'm so anti racism I often get called "too pc"! My eldest son is not like this at all, he was chosen to show "the new boy" who spoke little English around the school as he is so friendly and unaware of differences and he is now good friends with the boy, despite their language barrier. He is also obsessed with a little Malaysian girl (bless!) in his class so this racist behaviour obviously doesnt run in the family.

I'd like to believe that my youngest isnt picking on these people for a specific reason (like their colour) but its the comments, the whispering and giggling that makes me think it might be more calculated. His father wasn't exactly the most "pc" person in the world and he is the only person who I could imagine teaching him his beliefs but I very much doubt his girlfriend would approve and he is pretty much controlled by her...I think I'll have a word.

I think you should raise it with the school. They should be addressing this as a whole school issue.

I am sure you'll nip it in the bud, he is still young.

Looking on the bright side, your boy does seem very culturally aware:
Being accurately racist towards three ethnic groups is no mean feat for a 6 year old!

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