Night feeds

[Firsttimer1234]

How do you and your husband/partner share night feeds? At the minuted LO is four weeks old and waking three times a night. Sunday-Thursday I do all of them as DH works MondayFriday. He will then do some on a Friday night and Saturday night. I just feel bitter that during the weeks I'm up every onetwo hours and DH is snoring away. I get that he's going to work but I'm also getting up at the same time as him and having a full day looking after baby, housework, shopping etc so it's not as if I'm just lounging around.

I have 4 week old. She feeds around 10/11pm
1/2am
4/5am
7/8am
I do the 1/2 so then dh gets from whenever he chooses to go to bed (normally 10ish) until 4/5. So he gets about 7 hours.
I’m back at work in 8 weeks so we will rethink feeds soon.

I do them all, but we breastfeed and I can't be bothered expressing. I would just get on with it and nap in the day. I wouldn't do all the housework though, so everyone's different.

When DS was little I’d feed him at 9ish then go straight to bed. DH would stay up with him and feed him at midnight then bring him up in the sleepyhead and put him in the cot next to me. He’d wake again at 3am ish by which time I’d have had 6 hours sleep so it was fine. Worked brilliantly for us.

I do all of them, and then get DH to help in other ways. Making meals, housework, whatever. Mine works away all week but he’s a massive help at the weekend

With our first, my dh was up helping with every night feed til she dropped them at 9 months. When I was bf, he’d change her nappy and help with settling her, and when I was bottle feeding, he’d make the bottle. He did this despite working about 60 hours a week starting a business.

Our 2nd is 4 months and breast fed and honestly this time I really don’t need much help with the baby, so he doesn’t do anything. For the first 6 weeks, we split the nights so that he sat up with him until about 1am while I went to bed about 8pm (except for feeds). And then I did the other half of the night while he slept. Now ds sleeps well and I do all the feeds myself as it’s easy enough and there isn’t anything for him to do to help. But he does bedtime with our older one, all night wakings with her and gets up, gets her dressed, does breakfast, etc so I can get a bit of extra sleep in the mornings if I need it.

Honestly, going to work is way easier than being at home with a baby all day (I’ve done both), so I would expect your dh could offer more help every night. Could you alternate feeds? So you each get up every night but get longer blocks of sleep because you trade off? I found a bit more sleep every night helped a lot more than extra help a few days a week.

Same as above -
I went to bed early and DH stayed up late. Meant I could get a good chunk in. At weekends he would do the morning feed so I could stay in bed. Enough sleep so I could manage well.

He never did middle of the night though. It would wake me anyway so no point

I'm BF'ing my 8 week old DS and do all night feeds. DH has taken him for the last 2 Saturday nights to give me a break as I was nearing the end of my rope with sleep deprivation! 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep was bliss.
It sounds horrible as I know he had to get up and go out to work but I was starting to resent him slightly. I eventually explained that I needed a break in order for me to keep sane. I'll happily cover all night feeds provided he takes over every now and again.

We formula fed from birth (not out of choice) and we basically split the night into 2. So one of us went to bed early about 7 or 8 and slept until 2 or 3 and then we switched.
So if I went to bed early, every time LO woke up from 2am onwards I would get up and look after her.
Some nights we alternated feeds so we would at least get a full 5 or 6 hours sleep at a stretch.
My partner and I have done this regardless of whether he is working or not the next day. Although it seems I have been incredibly lucky in this respect. I made a point of from pregnancy making sure that he knew that this child was his as much as mine and I fully expected him to help out and do his fair share. It was non negotiable.
I also expect him to help with housework and cooking. Although I do have to ask him to do it as he doesn't seem to realise it needs doing otherwise. Might be a "man" thing :p
I would talk to your partner and explain that this is also his house and his children and he needs to step up. It is a "partnership" after all! And that means both of you need to contribute.
Also make sure during the day when baby is asleep, you at the very least rest. Sit down, have a cup of tea, even if you don't actually sleep (I never could). The laundry etc. can wait!