Please reassure me about putting my 12mo in nursery

[Sunrise888]

I'm reading another thread where it's not working out for the baby and the thread is full of comments about how 12m is a clingy stage, not a great time to start nursery, nursery works better after 2y... and I'm panicking because my 11 mo DS starts nursery 3 days a week next month. We'll do 3 weeks of settling in - should we pack in as many sessions as possible?

It's not what I wanted originally. I really wanted a childminder but it turns out there are almost none where we live or where we work. So it was a choice between a commute in rush hour or a nursery 5 min away. After visiting the nursery we had a good feeling about it, but now I have all these doubts again.

I know all babies are different, that we won't really know until he starts. DS is quite sociable, but he's rarely been apart from DP or me. I think he'd be ok if he was in a good/exploring mood, but if he gets upset only DP and I have ever been able to comfort him.

If your 12mo DC had a good experience starting at nursery then please tell me about it!

My DD started nursery 3 days a week at 11 months and she is settled and happy. She does lots of activities like painting, making pizzas, lots of water and sand play at the moment. She eats well there and now naps well although that did take about a month as she initially she wasn't sleeping well there and I was worried about that.
I think its natural to worry but our experience has been a positive one.

My DS was in from 12mo and had a settling period of two weeks. He was absolutely fine. He's now four and there's been no ill effects.

I was the opposite to you in that I really didn't want a childminder. I liked that the adults in the nursery are never on their own with the children.

I work in a nursery baby room (0-2) and he will be fine! Lots of settling in’s! 3 days a week is perfect, i find babies that just do one day or one half day a week take ages to settle as it’s so far between sessions. We also encourage parents to phone as often as they need to during the day for their own sanity to know how their child is getting on.

Just make sure you give the nursery as much information about his routine, likes and dislikes etc as possible. We’ve had babies start and only been told ‘he likes cake and sleeps for about an hour’ which is no help when we don’t know where he sleeps, how he falls asleep, if he uses a comforter or dummy.

My DD went to nursery full time at 9months. She loves it and we're feeling a bit sad that she'll be leaving for reception soon.

Big nursery, they have around 200 fam ilies, 30 odd staff, have never closed except for bank holidays and 1 week over xmas. They take the kids on trips regularly, so activities like royal wedding party, paddling pools on hot days, trips to the park within walking distance, to the local farm park. They have an allotment, a little wooden area, a mud kitchen.

The staff are all really lovely, my DD has had the same key worker since she started as they follow the kids as they move from babies room to middle room and then into preschool.

No regrets at all,and she will be going back for holiday care.

I think I know the other thread you mean. I would ignore the horrid comments. Completely unnecessary.

Mine started at a similar age to yours. We did about the same amount of settling in - probably a little less - and she was (is) in there FT.

It was fine and continues to be fine. It is hard at first and yes they do pick up a lot of bugs but it doesn't last. She loves it there now. Getting her to leave when they're playing outside is my biggest challenge!

DD went three days a week 8:30 - 5 at 11 months. 2 weeks setting in (1 hour where I stayed, then 2x 2 hour stints, then 2x 4 hours the second week).

She was absolutely fine. A bit clingy at home to start with, like she was making up for not seeing me as much, but not at all distressed about going or being left.

We upped to 8 - 5:30 at 13 months and 4 days a week 7:30 - 6 at about 16 months.

She loves it there, and it's been absolutely brilliant for her development.

Our baby was super clingy to us, we don't have family close so she had only ever stayed with me or my husband. I was really happy to find that she loved nursery! Yes we had tears the first few times we left her and then at drop of for a couple of months but I've been back at work a couple of months now and she loves going. It's such a relief that she is happy, makes me enjoy being back at work. She started there when she was 11 months old.

Sorry tears at drop off for a couple of weeks, not months

Mine went from 6 months as I wanted to avoid the 'clingy' phase and I had no issues

My DS is 15 months and has been in nursery for four months. He loves it, sails in there smiling every time and loves the staff. He is very, erm, attached, (like a limpet...) to me generally but he's fine going there.

I also have a nearly 3 year old. He cries at drop-off every single day. Honestly, it depends on the child. Most are absolutely fine.

Mine starts next week and I'm nervous about the settling in but know it will be good for him long term to be in a sociable environment, spend a lot of time outdoors and be around other children more. He's doing 3 days a week of around 9-10 hours a day.
Mentally preparing myself for a few really tough weeks and fingers crossed it gets easier. Definitely understand your concerns! Hope it all goes ok xx

My friends daughter has just started nursery at 10 months and before she started she had basically never left my friends hip other than to sleep! She’s doing amazingly well, kids are so adaptable. It’s just us which are the worriers! X

Thanks so much for all your replies, I feel better having read so many good stories. DS has had a sudden change in behaviour and become quite clingy - always wanting to be close to me and looking for a cuddle or quick breastfeed and won't play on his own anymore. I think I expected separation anxiety to start at 9 months when he began crawling, and thought at the time that it didn't seem too bad and it was a good thing we were waiting until 12m, but I think it's only started properly now and it doesn't seem like a good time to send him off! I've pushed my return to work back 3 times now, I don't think I can push it any more.

Does anyone have DCs who struggle with bed times and sleeping through the night? How did they sleep at nursery?

Both mine started at nursery under 1. Tears at drop off (from everyone) but I used to ring to check in when I got to work and they were always fine. (Any nursery will let you do this. Don’t feel bad for checking in)
They were both rubbish nappers when they started (would only sleep in our arms). Nursery fixed that in a fortnight. So having professionals to look after your child and help with the things you’re struggling with at home is brillliant.
They are now 6.5 and 2.5 and both smashing. Not clingy or distant.

You’ll be grand kx

Both mine started nursery at 1 and were absolutely fine after a few weeks of settling in. DD2 only napped with really loud white noise on at home so I was a bit worried about that, but she’s always napped well at nursery. They seem to have a knack for getting them to sleep!

My DD started at the same age and did brilliantly. She slept really well there and later made friends who are still her best friends (now 8). She was very ready to start school when the time came and settled well there too. It's obviously not every parents choice, or the only way to do it but of all the decisions I've made, it's not one i question.