Help! Some reassurance please.

[RuthChan]

I really hate to write this message, but can someone please give me some reassurance.
6 months ago I was blessed by the birth of the most gorgeous DD I could ever have hoped for. She surpassed all my wildest dreams and I love her to pieces.
However, motherhood has both up and downsides.
She is very active and is getting increasingly demanding and noisy. She has never been a napper and didn't even sleep for more than 3 hours at night until she was 4 months old. She now wakes once for a drink and otherwise sleeps through, which is fine, but she hardly sleeps at all during the day. Instead she demands almost constant attention. She does this by issuing the most offensive, loud, aggressive,penetrating screaching noise I have ever heard. I hate it more than any other sound I have ever heard and it is constant. She's doing it even as I type this.
I think it may be frustration that she can't yet crawl properly and so can't move around as much as she'd like to. She has a baby walker which she loves as it gives her extra mobility.
I am stuck at home alone with her all week. I am exhausted, frustrated and lonely. DH is great but he leaves home at 7;00am and gets home at 10:00pm exhausted. He can only help me at w/e. I am scared that she is driving me crazy and I have lost all confidence in my own ability as a mother.
Please tell me that this is just a phaze and that she won't shreak forever.

I think it may be a phase, but I also think that you need some help to get you through it. Do you have any friends with babies that can go out with, visit, invite home?

Taking care of a baby on your own stuck at home 24/7 is frankly nerve breaking, perhaps you if could find something interesting to do out of the house would make it easier to get through the day?

In the mean time, please be assured that you don't have to keep to all baby's demands of attention, as long as she is not hungry, wet, ill, or in danger of getting into trouble, nothing will happen if you ignore those attention demands for a few minutes.

Have you spoke to your HV about this? she may be able to put you in contact with a mother and baby group or organise some support if things are getting out of control. Would that help?

It is a hard stage to deal with. When my DS was at that age, I would try to be out of the house as much as possible. We did things like:

• food shopping
• met someone for coffee (or went alone)
• Story time
• swimming
• Joined a play group
• went for walks
• Put a rug on the grass in the park and played
• Went to mother & baby movie showings at the local cinema

Do you have a bouncy chair or a swing to put her in to keep her entertained? Or a play-gym or mat?

Is there anyone who can help you? Or anyone who can keep you company for a bit? Adult company really helped save my sanity. Being at home with a young baby all day, every day is stressful. It sounds as though you are doing a wonderful job. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

{hug}

[waves to Mamama ]

Does she do it when you go out?

Hi everyone
Thank you so much for the support.
Um, well, she doesn't tend to it so much when we're out or when friends come round. She's increadibly sociable and loves being with people so that tends to keep her happy and occupied. She's also really cute so people love playing with her which she loves in turn.
Yes, she loves walks in the pushchair, shopping etc. Anything that gives her lots to look at. I try to get out everyday, but we can't be out all day everyday and when it's just the two of us at home she just shreaks.
We only moved house in March so I don't really know anyone in the area. I'm doing my best to get to know people though.
By the way, I actually live in Japan so there's no such thing as a HV and my family are a loooong way away.
Thanks again for the votes of confidence.
They really help.
Especially the hug!!!

She's intelligent and gets bored easy - the cure will be crawling. You say you can't be out all day and every day - but actually it might be better than listening to the noises she makes when you are alone.

I spent all day every day for a whole year going out because ds was so much better outside the house. Now he never wants to leave the house as he always has a project on the go that he wants to finish.

Twentypence
Yes, to be honest, I think she is intelligent. She's interested in anything and everything, always wanting to know what I'm doing and who's around.
I think she's frustrated by the lack of crawling ability and I hope that it will improve when that does. She's so close to crawling, I think she'll up and around in the next few days.
That will open a whole new chest of horrors for me, but I hope it will reduce the shreaking a little.
I can't believe I'm complaining about this.
Every mother must have the same problem and most just cope.
I must be tired...