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Original poster

Dd bashing her head really hard

28 replies

MiniAlphaBravo · 28/06/2018 19:31

Dd2 is going through a terrible phase at the moment, barely sleeping, obsessed with breastfeeding not yet walking. But worse than that is that she has started bashing her head against the cot as a way to try to get out. She did it once tonight when I was in with her and twice last night. I think she may have done it before I even got a chance to run in to her as well, as her bruises look awful. She has also scratched her head. I’m terrified of letting her sleep in her room as I can’t bear to see her do this, so she’s now up and about again

I’m really worried about this behaviour - any advice would be really helpful. I had another thread on dd a few days ago but not specifically on the head bashing thing, which is a relatively new development

With this and crying almost constantly all night I am close to the end of my tether.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Havetothink · 29/06/2018 18:35

How old is she?

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 29/06/2018 18:53

16 months. Sorry that was quite important information to leave out.

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Havetothink · 29/06/2018 20:15

I know you said she's not walking but would she manage to climb in and out of the cot if you took the side off and put a bed guard on? Childgate on the door? Could she be getting too hot, mine really suffers with the heat, she woke up every hour one night and we really struggled to settle her. Only other thing I can think of is more distractions in the cot, maybe a light up soothing music toy she could cuddle. We always offer a drink and a snack before bed. Do you read a story every night maybe that could help settle her? With the head bashing I would hate to say try and ignore it if she's harming herself, if she's not ready to have the side off the cot then more padding on the sides and top and as long as she's not causing injury don't give it any attention? You can file her nails to stop scratching. If it lasts any length of time I would probably seek professional advice either from gp or health visitor.

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Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 29/06/2018 20:40

Thank you so much for your reply. I’ve put her I. The travel cot becaus sides aren’t as hard. She’s a good climber so I think she would get out. Tonight has been absolutely awful she has been trying to hit her head constantly and crying no stop for over an hour (maybe more I’ve lost track) despite cuddles, picking up, music, white noise, 3 books read and endless breastfeeding so my boobs are actually so sore now. It’s the only thing she wants. I tried to ignore the head but she’s got big bruises so I can’t just ignore it! I put her on the floor earlier as o thought it was safer but she went over to a chest of drawers to try to hit her head. And when I had her she was hitting herself hard. I’m so worried about her. She used to be so settled and happy

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Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 29/06/2018 20:41

Yes I think you’re right I definitely must speak to someone. Just wish it wasn’t Friday as I’m so worried she will do some serious damage.

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fuzzywuzzy · 29/06/2018 20:44

My thirteen month old does this, sometimes her forehead looks so bad with the bruises.

Mine gets especially fractious when she’s teething and just wants to be on boob and when I put her down she throws tantrums by smacking her head on the floor. She also sits against the wall and bangs her head against it if she’s angry, then cries more as it hurts.

Mine does it as a tantrum thing.

If your baby hasn’t done this before and just started it might be worth going to your gp or speak to your healthvisitor about it.

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 29/06/2018 20:49

Ah thank you fuzzy it’s good to know I’m not alone. Can I ask if you have seen any gp/health visitor about this? She’s finally fallen asleep on me, she must be exhausted from the crying and trying to headbutt been 2 hours since I started her bedtime routine.

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yikesanotherbooboo · 29/06/2018 20:54

I'm not sure what a GP could do but if you are worried she could go in a bed. All my children were in beds at this age for differing reasons.

fuzzywuzzy · 29/06/2018 21:03

I haven’t taken her to a GP as for dd she is definitely angry and throwing a tantrum.

She can be distracted from it and usually if I pick her up and take her out into the garden or get her food or distract her some other way she stops.

nosleepforoverayear · 29/06/2018 21:14

Could she be teething or have an ear infection?

nosleepforoverayear · 29/06/2018 21:17

I know you've said she is settled now, but if she wakes up again and repeats this behaviour I would give her some calpol to check it's not due to some kind of pain.

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 29/06/2018 21:51

She’s woken again and wouldn’t settle. I did think calpol but she is fine during the day, perfectly happy so I don’t think it is pain or teething. I don’t think she could be in a bed yet as she doesn’t really understand about not falling off things! I did ignore the headbutts then and it helped. I don’t think she was doing it as hard. Have had to bf her again it’s the only way to stop the crying. I’ve orobably been with her for 2.5 hours tonight either her crying or me feeding her

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Havetothink · 29/06/2018 23:14

Does she sleep much in the day time?

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 30/06/2018 04:08

She had a two hour nap at nursery yesterday. She doesn’t always do that when she’s with me but that’s the plan. She’s wide awake again now at 4am

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GinIsIn · 30/06/2018 04:35

My DS is the same age. Can I suggest something? Stop. All the cuddles, book reading, picking up, music etc - stop. When they are this age, they do sometimes just get a screamy rage. It’s developmental. None of that stuff makes the slightest bit of difference apart from stressing you out and prolonging the screaming, so stop.

We used to do all that, but have found that now with DS, if we pick him up, bring him downstairs and sit him next to us and then just sit right by him but not trying to hug him on the sofa, we can ride it out a lot quicker. He can approach us for a cuddle when he’s ready but we aren’t making him cross with too fuss, and he tires of screaming a lot quicker when we aren’t making a song and dance about it.

I do periodically offer him his sippy cup of water, and usually now after a few minutes, he will climb onto my lap, drink some water, then cuddle up ready to go back to sleep.

Cantsleeptooloud · 30/06/2018 04:59

I would try stopping all the stimulation too. You could always try the mattress on the floor too. I would also give Calpol, it won't harm.

nosleepforoverayear · 30/06/2018 07:06

Poor you - must be so distressing to watch. I think you should pop to a&e this morning just to get her ears and mouth checked. My daughter pulled at her head when she had tonsillitis and an ear infection in the night, but otherwise seemed ok during the day. If it's something like that then you can give her antibiotics and it will stop the behaviour. If it's not that then you can rule out her health and feel confident it's a behavioural problem and follow the suggestions of us to stop rewarding the behaviour with cuddles and feeding etc.

Jellyshoeshurtmyfeet · 30/06/2018 07:15

My DS is a teen now but when he was about 18 months old I went to pick him up from nursery to be told he kept crying and banging his head on the floor. I went to GP and he had a really severe ear infection that he was trying to relieve the pain by banging his head. It really might be worth having her checked. I hope you're both ok

endofthelinefinally · 30/06/2018 07:22

The first thing I thought of was earache. Please get her ears checked asap.
When little children get ear infections they are often pain free during the day but in agony at night. Being horizontal massively increases the pain.

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 30/06/2018 07:33

Thanks for all the messages. We managed some sleep. Her head looks even more bruised this morning, it’s horrible! Wouldn’t she have a fever if she had earache? That’s an interesting point though, I hadn’t really thought of it so I will try to get her checked out.

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nosleepforoverayear · 30/06/2018 09:33

No she wouldn't necessarily have a fever. Hope you are able to get her checked out this morning.

nosleepforoverayear · 30/06/2018 21:24

Any news op?

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 01/07/2018 10:23

A friend who is a nurse had a look at her ears but couldn’t see anything. I am fairly sure it’s behavioural. Last night I just took her to bed when I went. So she stayed up quite late but at least there was no headbutting! Poor head got a day off!

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rubyroot · 02/07/2018 19:02

I read somwhere that head banging can be self settling behaviour.

I don't know if it is relevant at this age though.

Original poster

MiniAlphaBravo · 06/07/2018 01:26

Hi ruby thanks for your message. I think in this case it can’t be. She has caused some pretty severe bruising which hasn’t gone away yet even though she’s not done it for a few days. I’m sure it must cause her pain. She’s now been crying non stop for aprx 2 hours, no joke. But we have to cuddle her and co sleep because if we put her in her cot I’m scared she will head bang!!! Calpol already given. She’s been happy nearly all day, just terrible at night for some reason! Poor thing. And poor us, dh alarm will be going off in 3.5 hours (It will wake me too, and possibly dd and therefore I won’t be able to get back to sleep).

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