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Parenting

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Original poster

Bad childhood memories

16 replies

JodieG1 · 24/05/2007 22:10

After reading the happy childhood memories thread it's made me think about the bad ones I've had and I didn't want to post on that one.

I had a pretty crappy childhood but have never really told anyone about it all, never how bad it really was either. I'm not going to now but my first ever memory, when I was about 2 years old, was watching someone get stabbed in the leg with a compass. I don't really want to say who. Things did get worse, quite a lot worse and carried on until I was about 15/16. It's affected me for such a long time but it's something I find har to talk about in real life.

It does help saying these things "out loud" and there are lots more but I'm not sure I should and it's so very difficult.

If anyone else wants to share too then go ahead, it can be cathartic.

The one thing I've always worried about it that I wouldn't be believed, as a child and even now and I think that's why I could never tell anyone when I was a child.

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Original poster

JodieG1 · 24/05/2007 22:28

Anyway I'm going to bed now, feeling quite emotional.

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FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 22:31

Jodie I am truly sorry that thread has stirred up a lot of things for you

Your memories sound so distressing

do you think it helps a little to be heard and believed? I do believe what you have written btw

otter · 24/05/2007 22:35

omg josie - you musy come back and talk more
lots of us understand and empathise on here
I could not open the 'happy childhood memories threads' if that helps

pleaase do come back - its all annonymous x

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

JodieG1 · 24/05/2007 22:35

Thank you It does help to be heard and believed, when I think about it in my mind a lot does sound unbelieveable.

I'm ok now though most of the time although have panic issues but they come and go and at the moment am ok.

Definitely going to bed now. Thanks for the reply, means a lot.

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Original poster

JodieG1 · 24/05/2007 22:37

Otter cross post, thanks for the reply. You had a bad childhood then? I will post more tomorrow but have to be off to bed as ds2 will be up lots in the night feeding.

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MaureenMLove · 24/05/2007 22:40

Otter, me neither, I can't open it because I really couldn't think of anything that was that fantastic about my early childhood. It wasn't nearly as bad as many people, but something happened when I was 11 and it kind of cancelled everything good before it iyswim.

Jodie - if you don't feel you can share it on here, why don't you share it with the samaritans on-line. I believe you can talk via e-mail, that way its not public.

FrannyandZooey · 24/05/2007 22:42

I think when very painful or disturbing things happen to us the mind partially disconnects as a form of protection

looking back this can give the feeling that it was not quite real

it's hard to trust your own memories

otter · 24/05/2007 22:50

yes franny and then totally disconcerting when a memory smacks you in the face out of nowhere

Original poster

JodieG1 · 25/05/2007 07:38

Ended up having a nightmare last night, it was related to all this. I think I'm just going to carry on trying not to think about it. I think it makes me feel worse when I start actively trying to remember. Thanks for the replies.

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 08:12

Jodie sorry you had a bad night. Do you think it might help to try to work through it one day or is it something you want to keep locked away?

LoveMyGirls · 25/05/2007 08:14

I tried to write a book once about my ex I was about 17 when it all kicked off (not traumatic to most people probably) I found it very hard when i started to write the book I was about 20/21 I started having nightmares and stopped writing it. I think i will get round to writing it one day but it was still too raw then.

I understand what you mean about pushing it to the back of your mind for now.

Original poster

JodieG1 · 25/05/2007 08:15

I'm not sure to be honest. I used to think about it all a lot but seem to have been ok for some years now. I'm sure some of the issues I have stem from my childhood but I don't know if bringing it all up again would benefit me long term or not.

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 08:18

I think it depends how much it affects your everyday life. There are some things in my life which I have more or less put behind me and to drag them up again wouldn't serve much purpose. But other things which stop me from leading the sort of life that I want to, I try to deal with, and sometimes that means looking at painful / difficult stuff.

Original poster

JodieG1 · 25/05/2007 08:34

I think maybe I'll deal with it in the future as I just couldn't cope with all that emotionally at the moment. I wonder if it would even help though.

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FrannyandZooey · 25/05/2007 08:50

I think if you started another thread asking people who have had difficult childhoods how / if they have dealt with it, it could be helpful perhaps in making the decision

Original poster

JodieG1 · 25/05/2007 08:53

Thanks, that's a good idea, I think I'll do that later

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