Help! Toddler touching her bits

[Churrolicious]

Relatively recent name change but I promise I'm an actual poster and not someone trolling for anecdotes but I am at my wits' end.

DD, 4, has seemingly discovered her bits and in the last few days has barely had one hand out of her knickers. It seems to be a comfort thing (hand not moving) but it's happening everywhere - cafe, nursery, sat on the sofa at home etc and obviously we feel like we need to say something. DH and I just don't really know how to tackle it. We've basically been going 'DD, hand please!' and she's moving it out, but as soon as we look away she puts it back.

How have other parents tackled this? I asked at nursery and their policy is 'we don't put our hand there' and then making the child wash their hand, which is fine I guess. They recommended us telling her if she wants to put her hand there she needs to go up to her bedroom on her own to do it. I get the theory but it just feels a bit weird and, I don't know, shaming? Also, worried we won't see her for days!

We're genuinely at a loss. Desperately worried we're going to make her feel ashamed about something that is natural but, yannow, can't happen in the bloody Sainsbury's cafe. Also feeling uncomfortable because I think if she was a boy there'd be more of a feeling of 'well that's how boys are, he'll stop eventually.' Is that how we should be tackling it for her?

As I said, apologies for the indelicate question - please don't feel you have to go into details, all I'm after really is 'words that worked for you without traumatising your DC forever'.

I’ve only got boys and DS3 used to do this all the time as soon as he got out of nappies pretty much - we kept telling him that he can only do that when he is alone in bed and no one can see. Your nursery is spot on! I don’t think that is teaching shame, it’s teaching them what is and isn’t appropriate. (We also make him wash his hands whenever we see.)
It has gotten better now that the novelty has worn off, or at least he is much better at not doing it in front of people.

Don’t make a big deal of it. Treat it exactly as you would public nose-picking.

As above. Just say that’s for home only, like using certain words, belching, whatever else you do only at home.

We went through this with ours a bit younger than 4, but our approach was that it’s fine to touch yourself but it’s not something we do in public, only in the bath or in your bedroom when you have privacy. That worked. She hasn’t obviously done it in a long time that I’ve seen. I think don’t make a big deal of it and stress that it’s fine but private. The thrill of hiding in her room will probably wear off soon.

Could she have threadworms? When my kids did this this it stopped after treatment! In the meantime we watched the NSPCC pantasaurus song lots and I said (in a lighthearted way) we only touch our private parts in private. (So bath or bed as mindutopia says)

Thanks so much everyone, going to stick with the suggestions and also look up the pantasaurus song too.

Not heard about threadworms - going to look them up now and possibly give myself nightmares. Thanks for all your advice - definite food for thought!

Also could be thrush, bit it is pretty normal for kids to do this.