Identity crisis

[user1234556789]

Name changed for this.
DS is 8 months old. It’s not been an easy ride but feel like I’m finally getting the hang of motherhood (if we ever really do!)
Anyway, after a lot of discussion between DH and I, we’ve decided that I’m not going to be returning to work at the end of my maternity leave. My manager wasn’t incredibly flexible on the part time hours available to me, and as we don’t have family/close friends living very close by DS would have to go into nursery whenever we are at work and the expense of it just didn’t work out beneficial enough for us both to be working. I’m happy to be at home with DS whilst he’s still little, and I do intend to go back to work at some point in the future (I plan on training as a nurse which was on the cards before I realised I was pregnant!)
However... all of a sudden it’s hit me that, aside from being Mummy, I have nothing else going on. I won’t have work responsibilities, I don’t have anywhere to be everyday and it all feels a bit crushing..
Please no bashing - I realise some mummies would kill to be stay at home rather than working - but I just feel that I now have nothing going on in my life other than baby talk, feeding and nappy changing.
I take him swimming once a week and I can drive, so we do get out the house.. I’m just wondering what did others do to keep themselves sane?? Should I realistically be looking for work for the sake of it? Do I need a hobby?! Help.

I personally think I would go a little nuts if I didn't work at least part time (I do two days as it was that or full time when I went back to work). It does get easier being at home as they get a bit older and you can go more places/give them regular food but I personally need some time with adults to help me feel sane.

I don't earn much once you factor in childcare but I think it's good for me and for dd as she gets quite a lot from being at nursery twice a week in terms of variety of activities and socialising.

I don't have a lot of friends with young children so personally being a stay at home mum would have been very isolating for me, and I find it a challenge to break into the group's of mum friends who go to the baby groups but adult company is what you need to keep you sane whether it's at work or with other mums.

Thank you for your reply Havetothink
I think the adult company is what I need too.. I never expected to feel this lonely, it’s been a bit of a shock to the system.
My current job just won’t be flexible enough for us if I went back, so I have started looking around for some part time work and also a job that’s a lot less physically demanding. Not looking for a career at this point but I think I need something else going on other than being ‘mummy’ 😕

I had to take a different job when I went back as they wouldn't let me work part time in my old job, it's not ideal, I'll probably look for something else eventually but they didn't give me much notice and I had to make the choice quickly. I have no hope of regaining any kind of career until my youngest is school age or at least old enough for some free childcare. Might find something with a shorter commute though.

Could you do any sort of training? I went to university for one day a week when ds1 was little. I loved my day of not thinking/talking about babies at all! Some college courses have a crèche on site.

Havetothink sounds almost identical to my situation only my boss has given me time to think about it, just not a lot of option that would suit me now DS is here. I have colleagues who have also had problems arranging shifts around child care so I know my boss will promise me the world to get me back but then the problems will really start x

Elisheva I have considered this too! Was looking at open uni courses the other day or I might look at doing an access course at some point prior to chasing the nursing route again so might pursue that x