Would you let an 8 year old remove her leg hair? And if so, how would you help her do it?

[Ketzele]

My 8 yo has central precious puberty syndrome and is being put onto puberty blockers. She is obviously very physically different from her peers (as well as being one of the only black kids in her school) and this is obviously not great for her. She is now getting teased for having hairy legs - which I only uncovered after many days arguing with her over wearing thick tights to school on hot days.

Wwyd? Obviously my preference would be for her to just ignore the teasers. However, she is very distressed about this - and she is a child who already has more than her fair share to handle. Would you let her remove the hair? Would you help her to do so? If so, what method would you use?

Many thanks for any help.

Yes I would absolutely.

I bought dd a battery lady shave at 9 she had been distressed and I didn't know why.. it didn't occur to me she had very dark leg hair (takes after DH) she is much happier now.
Kids are mean.

It's a simple safe thing , to make her more comfortable why would you not

yeah id get her a ladyshave, as they wont nick the skin

I would definitely let her remove the hair. I had very hair legs when I was younger and I was always teased for it! Kids are so cruel. My mum would never let me shave them it was horrible. She finally let me use hair removal cream when I turned 14. It was so much easier after that!

agree with pp: electric shaver the simplest option at this age.
My DD (very fair skin with very dark hair) was teased from 9: like you I was torn about her growing up too fast but it is such a small thing to fix and easy for them to manage themselves so gives a degree of control over their own bodies.

Absolutely. My mum wouldn't help me when I was 9 or 10 and so I dry shaved my legs using an old razor I found 🤢😂 she was devastated when she found out and then showed me how to do it properly and safely with a shaver!

Epilator or ladyshave - ego bruising is worse at this time by peers so shave away the issue and it will sort itself out.

Yes I would allow her to shave especially if she was getting teased about her body hair., I would use a lady shaver or Nair to start with but something easy to use with no risk of cuts.

It is difficult, isnt it.

DD, 9, has gone to school in her knee high socks. She's not v. bothered yet... but maybe she is...

She's told me before: 'boys have hair, girls don't.'

Yes I would help her. Would you wax? My mum was always a waxer, so when I came of age, she took me with her. I'm so grateful as waxing decreases the hair growth, whereas shaving thickens it.

Could you wax for her with a home kit?

Thank you all so much. An electric shaver is a brilliant idea - I was worried she would cut herself shaving, and she has v delicate skin so worried too about creams and wax. I don't know why an electric shaver didn't occur to me - possibly because depilation isn't one of my priorities, I just grab a razor on the rare occasions I show my legs.

I would strongly advise waxing as shaving only makes the hair thicker as it grows back. With waxing, less and less hair grows back and it’s thinner. You can also make it a special outing for grooming. A girly trip, so encouraging it as nothing to be ashamed of.

You may also want to think about her underarms. I’m presuming this will also be an issue as well as body odour. With less hair their, slightly less sweating. I’m sure in the not too distant future, you’ll likely need to talk about a lady groomer (for her lady bits). Poor girl. I was the first in my year to have boobs and used to cry to my mother about teasing I had about my bra strap showing (but at least I was 11 years old).

oh my god, why would you suggest waxing an 8 year old. You dont need to pull her bodyhair out from the roots. Shaving does not make the hair grow back thicker

Ive always found waxing painful and gives me ingrown hairs and spots. Cant imagine doing that to my child

Well, I say this from experience. Not an 8 year old but a 10 year old and was actually the recommended thing to do. We saw a dermatologist as the hair was not the only issue but also acne.

And yes, shaving the hair it does grow back thicker. Why do you think ladies don’t shave the hair on their face?

My then very hairy daughter is now 18 and now only has very fine hair on her legs/underarms. Due to waxing and never shaving, it’s very infrequent she needs to do anything now at all.

Unless you’ve been plagued by a lot of hair growth, you’d not have experienced what shaving does.

Hi OP

I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you sure hormone delaying medication is necessary at 8? She's not actually outside of the normal range for puberty symptoms.

You mention that the she is the only black girl in school and I wonder if this might make her development seem more extreme in comparison to her peers.

At 9 is was in a C cup bra and 10 I had started my periods. Although this was early, I wasn't alone amongst my black friends.

It is medically accepted that black girls start their periods earlier, and the physical contrast amongst different races is sometimes quite striking within that 8-12 age period.

I do wonder if the lack of diversity in her school makes this stand out more?

And again, if your healthcare providers are not used to seeing many black people, this may be another one of those things treated with a one brush fits all approach. Incorrectly.

Perhaps do some asking and looking around. Hormone therapy seems a lot for such a young girl to go through.

Back to the actual post. Yes, I would allow her to do whatever made her more comfortable as long as it didn't damage her. Shaving will be fine. I spent most of my early years and teens in 2 minimising bras!

It's important to facilitate as much as you can of what she asks so she keeps open communication with you, My mum pretended I didn't have the body of a 20 year old at 12, and I spent a lot of those years dealing with male attention that I didn't know how to navigate. I also had a lot of female attention which assumed I should know certain things or dress in certain (modest) way because I was 21 rather than 11!

I hope she find comfort in herself OP and well done for listening to her.

I understand that the issue of body hair is very different for the wimpily-bristled, like myself, and I might be approaching this differently if I thought she was going to very hirsute. But she may well not be, and while I don't want her to feel exposed by her physical development, I don't want to teach her that hair removal is compulsory or inevitable either. My daughters see me sometimes shaving and sometimes not bothering, no big deal either way. So I'm not going to suggest she attends to her underarm or bikini line unless they become problems for her.

I also won't be waxing her - I have never waxed, and I reckon monthly injections of puberty blockers is quite enough for her to cope with!

I'm quite sure both my girls will be bikini waxing before too long , and deriding their old feminist mum. For now I want to keep the whole thing low key and aim to reduce her self consciousness without teaching her that body hair is abnormal or undesirable. I expect I'll fail!

waxing a child just sounds abhorrent to me. Theres plenty of time for her to deal with painful beauty treatments in adulthood if she chooses later.

i also thought 8 was not precocious puberty. I thought that was on the early side of normal?

What about one of the IPL light treatment thingies?

No messing with razors for an eight year old every day and the results are more permanent for softer and less hair.

I wouldn't have an eight year old waxing either, stings a bit!

Waxing an 8 year old? I’ve heard everything now.

Shaving doesn’t make hair grow back thicker, it’s just the end of the hair is cut bluntly so it looks thicker. When hair is waxed it’s pulled out by the root, so grows back with a tip.

Lady shave seems to be the way to go.

I would help your daughter in anyway you can. Lady shave sounds best bet and safest.
My daughter is 8 and mixed race and may possibly be having treatment to slow down puberty. Being monitored at the moment as she has early signs. I'm finding it quite hard at the moment.
Interested to know what treatment and any side effects she has.
Sorry for the hijack 😊

100% I would let her remove it and help her to do it. I don't understand any mother who wouldn't.

I clearly remember a girl at primary school who wasn't allowed to shave her legs and she was very hairy - PE was horrible for her and I always felt really sorry for her when the other girls were calling her names.

Shaving doesn’t make hair grow back thicker, it’s just the end of the hair is cut bluntly so it looks thicker. When hair is waxed it’s pulled out by the root, so grows back with a tip.

^^This. It is an old wive's tale that shaving makes hair thicker. Similar to the one where you allegedly grow three new grey hairs in place of one grey hair you have pulled out.

*wives'

I'd do it. I shaved my own legs at 9 after being teased at school, I see no good reason not to let her if that's what she wants to do. Shaving does NOT make the hair grow back thicker, it cuts hair at the skin so it grows back FEELING rougher but it doesn't affect the follicle in any way. Waxed hair does grow back softer and can feel finer but it doesnt actually reduce the hair growth either and I wouldn't let an 8 year go through the pain of waxing. Laser hair removal is worth doing but it hurts too (almost as much as waxing) so I wouldn't consider that for a child. There's also the concern that her feelings about her body hair might change as she grows up and she might not want to have done something so permanent.

Thanks everybody, and to those who questioned the puberty blockers : I have had quite the education on this! When she first started developing, at 7, I just put it down to early side of normal range.

Since then I have learned that though most girls in puberty at 8 are just early (and somebody has to be) a minority are experiencing an endocrine disorder (I think - if anybody knows better pls correct me) called central precocious puberty. Doctor picked up on it because of her elevated risk due to early life experiences and her mature bone growth. She has had a brain scan, bone density scan, pelvic scan and hormone tests. The upshot is that she is st increased risk of female cancers and, though she is v tall now, will stop growing soon. Without puberty blockers, she might not reach five feet.

I thought I knew a lot about women's health but this was total news to me. So bottom line is that puberty at 8 is early but normal. However, in a minority of cases it points to a bigger underlying problem.