Nursing to Sleep

[emvy]

My 10 week old is EBF and up until now we’ve been feeding to sleep and co-sleeping. This has worked for us and we’ve been happy, however, i’m starting to worry that some sleep associations are being created that are going to cause problems down the line.

Recently, after waking for his night need (usually between 3-4 hours after going down), he’ll repeatedly wake up numerous times throughout the rest of the night, searching for the breast to re-settle. This can happen constantly, every few minutes for pretty much the entire night (say 2-7ish). Not only is this exhausting for me (I feed him lying down but keep having to help him latch on when he’s rooting), but I fear also must be tiring for him too?!

Is it possible that he’s simply seeking out milk & the tool of using the breast to fall back asleep because he’s right next to me, or is it that this has become the only way he can soothe himself back to sleep?

He rarely goes off to sleep in any other way - very rarely he will fall asleep in the car & only on a handful of occasions has he been rocked to sleep. Pretty much every single time he’s fed to sleep. The other morning he as rooting so I got up and moved away and he went back to sleep on his own, so I worry that the co-sleeping is making it worse.

How can I break this? It seemed like yesterday we had all the time in the world & now suddenly 3 months is almost upon us.

I have a Next to Me Crib that he will sometimes do a few hours in, I’m keen to transition him into there full time ASAP.

Thanks

We’ve coslept and fed to sleep since we came home from hospital (3 days old.). Hes now 9 months and in a cot on blocks to be level with our mattress and cable-tied to our bed so it can’t slip away.

He’s had several phases of sleep-regression/feeding loads in the night. They’ve always passed and usually he’ll make a developmental leap after. At the moment he’s been having one feed around 1am which he pretty much helps himself to without waking me all the way up. He’s also naturally stopped feeding to sleep since he’s been on solids (maybe less hungry in the evening?) - we have a wash, clean teeth, read a story, have a feed and then usually he takes himself off and lies in his cot for a bit singing to himself/having a bit of a crawl/roll around until he falls asleep.

All of which is really to say if something’s mostly working and you’re happy, there’s no reason to impose changes.

My soon to be 1yr old still prefers to feed to sleep (she can fall asleep
alone now, it just happened around 6mths, and I now try not to let her fall asleep feeding at night). I just think, why not if she’s happy and well? Enjoy your feeding times :-)

I'm very sympathetic! My lo is almost a year and hopefully we are coming to the end of night condition feeds. At the moment he stirs, roots around, latches on and then rolls away almost immediately! I think he's just checking I'm still there 😁. I've still wake up several times a night expecting him to feed, but I'm hoping that he can soon stay in his side cot so I can have the bed to myself and get a full night's sleep again.

As long as it is working for you both then keep going. Maybe concentrate on keeping yourself comfortable so you can go back to sleep quickly and get as much rest as possible.

Feeding to sleep, in my opinion, is magic. Having, like you, started to think I needed to change something with DD1s feeding to sleep habit at around 12 weeks, and wasting sooo many nights trying to shush-pat etc, going back to feeding to sleep after a couple of months of fruitless frustration with more mainstream methods was one of the best decisions of my parenting career. But then my plan always included co-sleeping and natural term weaning.
You get so much more done if you can feed your DC to sleep in a few minutes; no tears or clock watching, just instant zzzzz.

Just to pick up on the mention of sleep associations -I believe feeding to sleep is nature's gift to breastfeeding mothers in this respect; camping, travelling, parties, hotels, airport lounges, I have been so grateful for the ability to feed to sleep in unusual environments, when, for whatever reason, a smooth and rapid transition to sleep has been necessary, and made possible thanks to that super-strong sleep association.
I have a demanding job which regularly requires a couple of hours of working from home in the evening after I have put the girls to bed. Because feeding to sleep is so gentle and virtually guaranteed, I always knew that I would be on schedule to crack on with my work. Like I said, magic

I have fed all my babies to sleep until they turned 2. They all learned how to nod off by themselves after that age.

It’s a bit tying but the benefits far outweigh the negatives for me.

We have the same issue. My baby is 7 months now and will only feed to sleep. For us there has been a small amount of progress. She went through about 7 weeks of waking up every half hour and rooting. It got to the stage where I tried formula and that didn't help one bit. She rejected the dummy. I tried every trick in the book to get her into her next2me and NOTHING worked. So here we are at 7 months still cosleeping. The next2me hasn't been used since she was 4 months when she stopped taking her naps in them. But on the plus side she only wakes up 2 to 4 times a night now. I just embraced the idea that some babies need more cuddles and it will not be forever.

My five year old gets himself to sleep no problem and has done since age 2. I did absolutely every single thing they say is making a rod for your own back and creating habits that are hard to break. Load of rubbish. I fed to sleep and co-slept till he was 2. After about 12 weeks feeding in the night was a breeze it hardly disturbed me and we both got more sleep. Do what you need to do - but know that feeding to sleep is not necessarily a rod for your back. I used to quite like it - do a bit of mumsnetting while they feed. Bonus!

DC3 is 8 months and I feed her to sleep every night. She’ll fall asleep in the buggy or car as well or by DH’s rocking if I’m out somewhere but, like her 2 older sibs, never ever just from being put down or self-soothing or whatever these babies do who just fall asleep by themselves in their cots. The only regret I have from DC1’s babyhood is that I ever wasted time worrying about ‘bad habits’ when I could have been enjoying guilt-free snuggles and bf. Also I could have spent many hours reading wonderful novels instead of crap internet articles about ‘how to make your baby do XYZ’. Please OP enjoy your teeny tiny beautiful bundle and do what feels right to you and what works so you can get some sleep.

I don't get it

Why would I wake my baby, just so he can go to sleep awake?
When feeding to sleep is the loveliest, gentlest path to slumber.
Why not comfort my crying child?
Why not carry my precious cargo close in a sling?
Why put my baby down to bed before he is tired, when holding and snuggling is the best feeling in the world for both of us?
He is not little for long enough.
Why wish it away?
Why train, resist, form, push?
Why not let my baby be...
Be close, be held, be fed for a little or long as he likes.
It seems natural to me.
I love having my tiny baby close.
It never occurred to me to ask advice about if this were right.
Why wouldn't it be?
Let us be
Natural and free
And so happy in our cocoon of love and warmth.
Until he grows and flies away
Too soon for me.

Thank you for all your experiences and advice regarding feeding to sleep. I was in a bit of a dark place after 2 nights of pretty much zero sleep after my DS just wanted to stay on the boob the whole night. It did, however, seem to be a phase and we’re back to our usual 1 or 2 night awakenings now. Much more manageable! I’m relieved to read that lots of your little ones grew out of it naturally so I will continue feeding to sleep for as long as my LO needs and as you say, enjoy this time while he’s so little.

Thanks everyone