WWYD - unsure about childcare

[Wormonastring]

Hi everyone, I’m struggling to decide wether to put DD (1) into childcare. Would really appreciate any views.

Pros

• I work from home and would be able to take on more of a workload. Feeling stifled at the moment because I have to turn work down

• I’m a single mum and feel burnt out a lot - pretty much no support network except one family member. Having someone to rely on would be great
• met a lovely CM last week who has the flexible availability I need

Cons

• the thought of leaving DD before she can communite verbally makes me extremely anxious
• a lot of the extra money from working would be absorbed by childcare costs
• mum guilt as I don’t ‘have’ to put her into childcare and could juggle things as we currently are
• She still breastfeeds lots and isn’t always the best eater - and nurses to sleep, it’s the only way she will get to sleep. I’m unable to pump, so I think the CM would struggle with naptimes (I went out for a few drinks with a friend last month and she was still awake at 11.30pm when I got home despite my mum rocking/soothing her. Usual bedtime 8pm and she immediately fell asleep when I nursed her so must have been exhausted

Another thing is that we get the two year old funding - I initially wanted her to go into a nursery setting for the socialisation/safeguarding aspect of having multiple staff. But none near us accept part timers until they turn two - So I’m debating wether it’s better to get on the waiting list to a good nursery now so she can start when she gets to age two.

Tia for any views feeling really torn!

How many days/hours a week would you be planning on putting her in childcare? It sounds silly but couldn't you maybe start her in one day a week in childcare just to give yourself a break and then see how things go? Is it financially worth popping her in childcare or nay? X

DD being in nursery gives me the break that I need and provides the stimulation that DD loves.

If you're worried about communication then maybe do some baby signing.

Although a large chunk of my wages go on childcare, I see it as an investment in my future that will keep me employable.

When DD started at nursery (at 11 months) she breastfed lots. I always fed her to sleep and still do at 19 months. The nursery staff were used to children like mine and have rarely had any problems getting her to sleep. DD also refused any milk I expressed and still won't touch cows' milk so she has water at nursery.

Good luck deciding, but definitely don't feel guilty whatever you choose!

Remember, whatever you decide, you can always change your mind :)

El1995 - it would only be for 3/4 mornings a week, so 9am until around midday. I would definitely love the break but from a financial POV i would have to be working from the second I got home until the second I left to pick her up. So although it will be nice having some time to feel like an adult, I won’t have much down time from it! (Until she hits two years and we get the funding through)

Cornish - I did initially decide on a nursery, found a couple of amazing ones with fantastic reviews but sadly they don’t take part time babies! I know she would love the nursery environment with the resources they offer and the socialisation because she loves other children. So I’m partly wondering if it’s better to wait a few more months and then get the nursery placement where she could do 4-5 mornings. Rather than potentially settle her in with a CM and then have to change not long afterwards.. I think I’ll get mum guilt whatever I do! although my work is important I’m doing fairly well working while she naps/sleeps..

Thanks for your responses

My DD goes to a childminder (she’s 1) and I’ve noticed that her confidence around other children has really increased and she does lots with the childminder that I don’t have the imagination to even think of.
I miss her but I enjoy being able to really get my head into work while being confident she’s well looked after.
Also having a cup of tea in peace at work counts as a break even though I’m working as I drink it.
I’d chat to the childminder about the breastfeeding and nap time thing as they have lots of experience with that.

Would you not be eligible for some help towards childcare costs via tax credits?

I think it will be good for you to have your 3-4 mornings set aside for work plus DD will have her sleep when she gets home so can can do some more work then time with her all afternoon/evening.