Adopted siblings. Help with contact

[Leanneevans95xx]

I have two younger brothers. That were adopted around the age of 9/10.
One has turned 18 in April
One 17 today.
I'm really feeling the pain of not seeing them and wanting to start building relationships if possible.
Does anyone know how I'd go about trying to contact the older brother? Or how I could go about getting my contact details to him if I'm not allowed to contact him? To see if he even wants to make any contact.
We are all badly neglected as children and at a very young age of 8-14 I was pretty much raising them whilst my mum was alwyas out of it on drugs. I'm scared they'll see there file and think all our family are bad, but I can't speak for them but I'm desperate to make some sort of contact.

Contact social services in the area that dealt with their foster care and adoptions, they will be able to advise you on what you can do. I think the usual thing is for you to leave a letter with social services to go into your brothers' files and it will be passed on to them if they contact social services.

I think that they will also recommend some sort of counselling or intermediary if you all do make contact. It can be quite a fraught and emotional time and you might all have very different expectations of what you might get out of meeting each other.

I hope everything goes well for you.

Is it literally like until they ask social services for contact that they're not informed I've tried to make contact or anything like that, I just think at 18 you've got so many mixed emotions and your probably not thinking of dragging up the past. 😩 I just really am beginning to lose my mind, we've had letter box contact 2x a year for years, yet I think they only get the letters there adoptive parents want them to receive.

There's so many times they've sent me letters, like when I've mentioned there nieces or nephew being born and never has anything in relation to anything I've said been in there responses. Like they didn't receive a letter so they're trying again. The youngest wrote to me in February. The oldest didn't. The adoptive partents wrote me a letter telling me it would be nice if I could respond to [name removed by MNHQ] as he would love to hear from me but said my older brother has had a lot of issues and gone down the wrong path failed all his GCSEs got in with the wrong crowd and probably wouldn't be interested in a conversation with me? Which has just done nothing but made me worry about him. We went through a lot of abuse as children. I went through a lot of sexual abuse myself, but it was never proven that it did or didn't happen to my siblings. As they were younger and classes as to Young to speak.
I went off the rails and lashed out because I didn't know how to tell anyone. I didn't know anything and I'm so worried that maybe he's gone through the same thing and he's dealing with it all alone because he's scared just like me. Im falling apart. It's breaking my heart.

If you had letterbox contact in the past then they will still forward on your letters I assume.

Unfortunately you can't force your 18 yr old brother to have contact with you. I know that it's worrying but you have to allow him to move at his own pace with regard to dealing with his past.