Work/ life balance

[Bethbubbles]

Hi guys

I have 3 and 5 year old miracles that are my life and my partner is fabulous - the man I always waited for. Obviously a ‘but’ is coming.

The BUT is, I am under so much pressure at work I don’t get to see my lovely family. I’m the main bread winner and my older child has a different dad but he contributes below the minimum. I’d rather retain that good relationship than rock the boat and ask for more. My priority with her is her relationship with her dad and no money is worth affecting that.

I met my partner when my daughter was less that a year and life became complete. We had another one a year later and everything was blissful. In a lot of ways it is perfect.

Thing is it’s such a struggle in London. I make ok money but renting near a good school is crippling. We’ll never be able to afford to buy a place because we’ll always be stung on rent.

I hate my job and they put so much pressure on me to work late that I barely see my kids during the working week. The older one then goes off to her dad every other weekend which means I only get every other weekend too.

Anyone got any advice on approaching their employers about reduced hours or at least working the contracted hours? I’d love to find a way to support my family and put my precious babies to bed at night. Any thoughts or advice let me know.

Thanks
Beatrice

Could you move your job out of London? Would you want to? It depends what you do but in London particularly it is hard to make ends meet financially without working long hours.

Honestly, I would be looking to change jobs and move out of London unless you’re happy with things as they are. Before mine started school I was working several long days a week, leaving the house at 5:30 and not getting home til 7/7:30. It was fine in the short term because my dh has a lot of flexibility and was able to be home when I wasn’t. But it’s hard and realistically it isn’t something I’d want to do forever. I don’t want to be a sahm. I just wanted to be home at a normal time. We don’t live in London and I work in a very specialist field (hence the long days because there aren’t many jobs in my field so I had to take what I could get at the time). But in the long run, it isn’t the sort of life I want. I’m on mat leave at the moment, but when I go back to work, we’re moving to make my commute easier and I work from home a lot and am considering working term time only. You might consider asking your employer about flexible working arrangements (if you have a union, your rep may be able to advise you). In my field flexible working is very much the norm. But still I would consider it only once you’re able live somewhere where the cost of living is lower and you don’t have so much stress on you or pressure to work long hours. In the broader picture, it isn’t worth it to be constantly overwhelmed and exhausted if you can make some changes to make life easier.