Not happy with leaving my baby at grandparents

[Buloobear]

My parents in law often look after my DD.
I am very grateful for the help and love having them on hand
They both smoke, which isn't a problem as they go outside and wash their hands so DD isn't around it.
Lately though I've been coming to pick up DD and the house smells of smoke, Im sure my MIL is smoking in the next room with the door closed, somehow thinking that must be ok. Am I alone in thinking this is not ok?
If I can smell it that badly when I walk in DD is surely inhaling second hand smoke every time she's round there.
I've spoken to DH who said he'd have a word with his mum, but didn't seem to bothered about it and I'm sure he hasn't said anything.
What do I do?
Speak to her myself? It would feel so uncomfortable to mention it her, but I feel almost hurt she thinks it's ok to do it.

They both smoke, which isn't a problem as they go outside and wash their hands so DD isn't around it.

Without going into the rights and wrongs of how effective this is, did they do this at your request or their own initiative,

She may not be smoking in the house. If she is smoking outside then her hair, clothes and when she breathes out will all be given off toxins.

If the smoke in doors when your DD is not there then the house will be thick with toxins.

How old is your DD?

nottaken at my request

Anotherangel 10 months

You'll have to speak to them. They've relaxed and taken their eye off the ball

Oh no. I thought maybe they had made their own rule and then relaxed it a bit.

It’s a bit awkward now isn’t it, because basically you have to ask are they going against your expressed wishes.

You know it’s only a matter of time before some smart arse comes on and tells you if you want to make the rules you need to pay for childcare, though...

You're right single. If DH doesn't step up I'll have to.

Exactly nottaken I feel like I keep telling them what to do (although I don't think it's too much to ask) now I just feel awkward to have to remind them.

Just walk in, and when you smell it say 'wow have you be smoking in here' which will open the conversation. It's not negotiable is it
It is true that if you pay a minder they do it your way, but gps can offer a lot a stranger can't

I would discuss it with your partner and say you'd like to speak to the parents. This is your child's health at stake and they only have you to look after them.
Remember you are all adults and can have a respectful discussion on the issue. Maybe steer the conversation from the starting point of 'checking that the current arrangement still suits everyone' that way you can say you don't want to put on them, do the timings still work for them and are they still happy to smoke outside as this is really important to you?

I wouldn’t even allow my dc to enter the house of someone who smokes, grandparents or not. My grandparents smoked - also supposedly in the next room or only when I wasn’t in the house. They were my main childcare until I started school so I was there every day. No surprise about a month after they started watching me (at 3 months), I ended up with pneumonia in hospital and nearly died. Likely related to secondhand smoke exposure, though this was the early 80s and no one cared about that sort of thing back then. I developed asthma eventually and have had several more bad bouts of pneumonia including one that landed me in hospital on oxygen a few years ago. They adored me but no one realised what the long term consequences of their smoking would be for me. I’m nearly 40 and it still affects my life. Free childcare or not, no way I’d be leaving my dc in that situation today and I think it’s pretty reasonable to tell her that (and start thinking about alternative childcare).

Unless they’re changing their clothes and showering before they hold her after smoking, I don’t suppose it makes much odds anyway to how much second hand smoke she is being exposed too, especially if they smoke inside when your daughter is not there.