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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you let your dcs win when playing boardgames with them?

17 replies

saadia · 22/05/2007 22:34

When I was a child and we played Ludo or Snakes and Ladders with my mum she always let us win. I sometimes play Noughts and Crosses with ds1 (5) and always let him win, but I'm wondering if this is teaching him the wrong thing, or if OTOH he is too young to really be expected to compete as an equal with an adult.

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hana · 22/05/2007 22:35

I think at 5 they don't have to win all the time
I have a five year old and she knows this now!

Aimsmum · 22/05/2007 22:37

Message withdrawn

iota · 22/05/2007 22:39

I let my 5 yr old win most of the time, but not all

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MamaMaiasaura · 22/05/2007 22:39

It depends on the game. If a new game, like scrabble I let him do lots better than me to help him build confidence. Haing said that tried yahtzee with him and he got 4 yahtzees!!

MamaMaiasaura · 22/05/2007 22:40

I think I adjust my play more to his level if that makes sense.

Spidermama · 22/05/2007 22:40

I have a healthy balance. I obviously give myself a fairly severe handicap but I think it's extremely important to learn how to lose and you do them no favours by denying them this.

Original poster

saadia · 22/05/2007 22:40

thanks everyone, ds actually expects to win and I know he will get upset if he doesn't which in itself is not a good thing, so I guess I'll have to get him used to not always winning.

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SoMuchToBits · 22/05/2007 22:43

Similar to Spidermama - e.g. if we play three games I would probably make sure ds (aged 6) won at least once, but that he lost onced as well. Don't like to let him think he can win at everything, but also don't want him to be discouraged if he loses every time IYSWIM.

MrsWho · 22/05/2007 23:04

when I pla with my 2 (5 & 7) I try and balance the winners out between the 3 of us.

Original poster

saadia · 22/05/2007 23:09

So really there needs to be healthy balance so that they experience success and failure and learn to deal with both.

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hatwoman · 22/05/2007 23:09

omg I find the whole thing so stressful. I do let them win a wee bit (but not all the time) but I draw the line at letting them cheat. which dd tries to do. a lot. and I end up feeling like a 6 year old too for saying "if you;re not going to play properly then I'm not going to play with you". I hear myself and can;t decide if I'm giving her a valuable life lesson or if I've just got my lip out.

Original poster

saadia · 22/05/2007 23:11

lol hatwoman - definitely a valuable life lesson, can't let them think cheating is OK.

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twinsetandpearls · 22/05/2007 23:19

no although like awen I try not to completely thrash them!

dancingtina · 22/05/2007 23:23

I've got a theory about board games. I only ever played board games with my older brother and he never let me win, therefore i lost everytime and I actually used to enter games knowing I would lose and just playing along for the fun on it (and to see how long it would take me)

I am very uncompetative (and can't spell!), in stuff like games, work, sports, never have road rage, arguments - I enter all games and sports enthusiastically and enjoy them but cos i never expect to win, losing just doesn't bother me. I think this has been a good lesson in life. (however, I also let people push in front of me in queues on a regular basis and get on my own nerves for letting them - lol!)

FloatingOnTheMed · 22/05/2007 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

saadia · 23/05/2007 08:10

dancingtina and floatingonthemed that's really interesting. Although my mum always let us win, when I played with dsis and db it was always on an equal footing.

OP posts:

bozza · 23/05/2007 08:18

I think a 5yo has to learn to loose. It is all very well for you to let him win but his mates are not going to, are they? And DS1, suggests there is a DS2, so they will eventually be playing together and one of them will have to lose.

I try to make sure that they win enough not to get fed up but also loose a bit. As spidermama put it, I handicap myself. Games of chance I leave like that because DD was joining in with those from the age of 2 or so. It is hard to loose Guess Who though when DS has managed to knock down every single character.

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