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Completely exhausted by caregiving for chronically ill daughter

2 replies

Tiredbeyondbelief · 12/06/2018 09:51

Hi,

I have namechanged for this. My thread title is self explanatory and I am not looking for medical advice because I already have other threads for those and have done all I can, really. I just need to say some things I can't say in real life.

My teenage daughter has a chronic illness which has no easy cure, but only palliatives. ( dont want to say what it is on this thread)I am exhausted beyond belief by caring for her over the past 2.5 years, both physically and mentally. I know she needs me to be strong but I just want to give up. I need to get her to exercise, do mental therapy, and various other duties for her to get better. What I really want to do is run far far away. Her illness makes her very grumpy and depressed, and v hard to be around. Meanwhile, all her other friends are partying, doing sports, and of course posting happy pix on Instagram so she feels even worse. Many of her friends have dumped her because they dont want to be around a constantly sick girl.

I do not live in the UK so I can't rely on some of the help that is available there. I do have paid help with household tasks. DH helps as much as he can given his long work hours. No family nearby.

I feel like every happy memory in the last few years has been tainted by this. So many holidays, parties ( including her brother's birthday party), and other events have been cancelled because she was unwell. I can't work a regular job because I need to be with her for periodic doctor visits. I know I sound awful; it is not her fault that she is ill. But I am just so tired of taking care of everyone in the family. Before this my DH was depressed and I had to take care of him for a bit. And my mom is not getting any younger. I just see years and years of caregiving stretching out ahead of me and nothing ever changing.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Tiredbeyondbelief · 12/06/2018 12:18

I knew I should have posted in AIBU.

OP posts:
BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 12/06/2018 12:26

You don't sound awful. You sound exhausted.

I really have nothing practical to suggest. My Aunt is severely disabled & I saw how unrelenting the life of a caregiver is through watching my Gran. Is there any form of respite you could use? Or is it extortionate / non existent where you are?

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