Can anyone recommend a parenting book?

[Pebblespony]

Both myself and DH were smacked as children and I really want to avoid that with my DD. I especially want to show DH that there are other ways to go. She's still only a baby so I want to do some good groundwork. I haven't a great relationship with my mother and don't want to repeat the experience with my daughter.

the incredible years by Webster Stratton is great. focusing in rewarding positive behaviour and building a secure relationship without child as a foundation to start from.
you can buy the book online but its based on a parenting course designed for different ages. might he worthwhile talking to your health visitor to see if there is any in your local area you could attend if you are interested.
overall though sounds like the fact you are already thinking about your style of parenting means that you will do a great job.

How to talk so little kids will listen

just realised there are several typos in there should check what I send

You don't need a book you only need lots of patience, very good humour and lots of love.
We have a 12 year old son. Fantastic boy. He is very happy and chilled.
We do have discipline and expectations always have.
We never smack him and very seldom raise our voices.
We never used naughty step or time out.
We talk to him because even when they are little they understand.
For example one day he painted a chair and he was very young maybe 2.
I told him that I didn't want him to do that because it didn't look nice. He never did again( I was told off by my husband for giving a 2 year old felt pens)
Humour makes things so much easier. I don't get easily crossed.
We do not allow back chat at all or arguing back.
If he has a point we listen but he has to be respectful.
If he wants say 10 more minutes to finish something and I'm not in a hurry I negotiate all the time. That way everybody wins.
We parent by negotiating not by force and it's working great so far.
Best of luck and sounds like you are going to be great parents.

How To Talk So That Kids Will Listen - a really great and practical book that gives lots of strategies that really work.

I love The Gentle Parenting Book. You can see reviews on Amazon etc to get a feel for it.

The Awakened Family by Dr Shefali. Actually just anything by her. She has some great TED talks and interviews with Oprah etc on YouTube.

All about mirroring your child back to them. Containing your own stuff so it doesn’t get in the way of your child forming their own identity. I’m from an abusive background, was smacked as a child and I found this stuff a revelation.

Thank you all so much. I'm going to look all of those up and thanks for the tips. I remember my mother getting so angry and losing control and I want to avoid that at all costs.