Let down by social service

[Myboys2018]

llo, so my ex husband left when my son was one to shack up with another woman, and for the first couple months he would still stay the day he had our son as to want a normal 'marital evening and life.'

He is still with the girl and things were ok when they lived with his mum. Then they moved in with his gf mum. Since then there is a massive change in our son. Our son is 3.5.

He has nightmare about going to daddies and says I need to stop it.

He says daddy and the gf go back to bed and he plays on his own all day

He sends him to nursery with out of date food and inappropriate clothes for the weather

The son comes home and is a emotional wreck and is just happy to be home.

He screams about going to daddies and hides behind me, his dad just sits on his phone whilst I convince him.

The dad openly tells our son he is going
On holiday and won't take him as it wouldn't be a holiday.

He constantly sends me abusive messages when I am the one looking after our son, threatening to stop maintenance and block my number etc.

Now he hasn't pood since last week so 5days, and he is saying daddy tells him
It's naughty to poo in his nappy and daddy makes him hide. So he is trying to lock
Himself away at home, is scared of us trying to help him potty train since the day his dad tried. And now the doctors think he is retaining it because of daddy. They have stayed I am to not send him until
Social servicservices s have got in contact.

This was my original post however since then MASH have got in contact and spoke
To the Dad who is denying that he does and says theee things so they have suggested a early parenting class for him and for me to seek legal advice. I am feeling really let down by social services as I genuinely thought they would have taken it more seriously! What would your next steps be? My solicitor suggests writing a letter and stating my cinercns and what I want constancy wise. Also these early parenting classes will I have to attend with him?

Do what your solicitor says.

Awful situation. Please please record EVERYTHING - every incident or situation your son mentions, every comment from doctor or nursery or any other professional involved in your son's life, every conversation with your ex. Keep every email or text message. Social services may well end up more involved (or they may not) but you need EVIDENCE of everything. If it isn't written down at the time it can become very tit-for-tat if it ends up in court, but being able to present everything (even many months or years in the future) is critical.

And definitely do as the doctor says and take legal advice. Social services should be taking this seriously. If your maintenance is not already done through the service (I forget the name) then put it through them, even if it means less money. That removes the threat of him stopping his payments and ensures there is a formal record if he avoids paying.

Best of luck to you, you deserve support and your ex sounds like a wanker

Thank you! I have documented everything from when he left. Every detail etc. I just don't see why they aren't pursuing it further this time just by his word. How much does it take for them to take notice. I spoke to a solicitor and they said to outline all my points in a letter to him, and what I want to do. I have stated I want a sit down meeting with all
Our partners, and also he can have access 10-5 and the son is to be home for bed. This week he turned around and said 'our son got really upset for leaving us' trying
To be smug. But he had just loaded him
With tons of sweets, toys and a big fancy day out. As soon as our son was home he was fine. I wouldn't do this for no reason. I think I am going to ask mash to have a actual meeting with me with all
My evidence x

Good luck! You are doing the right thing. Social services vary WILDLY in terms of their competence and professionalism - no doubt some are great but I have family members who have dealt with seriously incomptent social workers (who have literally lied in court, made outrageous claims, and always listened to one parent over the other despite police involvement and domestic abuse - but that is another story!). Of course they are also overworked, but if you keep pushing you should get somewhere. Every time it feels too much just keep telling yourself this is for your son and it is worth it. I hope you have some support from family/friends as well x