If you were/ had an only child for a long time how did you feel when new sibling came along

[andon]

Going to have a nearly 7 year gap between dcs. Worried about the impact on my only who has had us all to himself for years

I am in a similar position. Awaiting arrival of DC2. DD1 currently excited but imagine that will change... following this thread with interest.

Honestly? Not great. But I think the problem was that my mum with all the best intentions tried to make sure that dsis impacted my life as little as possible. The result was that we never bonded as sisters at all.

Nearly 5 years between dd1 and dd2. For a while dd1 would say I miss when it was just the 3 of us.

And even now dd2 can annoy dd1 but it's been really beneficial for dd1 to have a sibling (because of her personality, not because everyone should have one) and my family now feels complete (hated that phrase before dd2 but I get it now!)

The twins shredded my life! I was sent away to school because my mother 'couldn't cope with them and me', I have hyperacusis and crying babies cause me extreme pain (she knew it would isolate me one way or the other and got pregnant anyway), they hate me (and given that they have put me in hospital a few times it's mutual). I don't have a relationship with them and they're not allowed near my children, I don't trust them.

Nearly 25 years down the line, I still wish they'd never been born.

Mass disruption tbh it was a faff going back to the start and a nightmare co ordinating activities they both could do.

Sorry to be blunt! I’m sure it will be fine

I'm ashamed to say I felt resentful of my unborn son due to the idea of my eldest son feeling unsettled, out out etc. There's an almost 5 yr gap. My newborn is 7 weeks and it's been wonderful so far.

Ds1 has been a little star and hasn't acted out or seemed jealous at all. Dd2 has also been a star and is an easy baby so hasn't diverted that much of my attention. I'm very mindful that me and my big boy get a little time together each day, even if it's just a 5 mins book on the sofa or a bit of gardening g whilst the little ones inside.

I was nearly eight when DSis was born. I wanted a sibling, so that really helped. My parents were good at making me feel included at each stage before the birth and afterwards. And when DSis arrived, a neighbour bought me a small present, as well as a present for the baby.

The one thing I didn't realise was that I'd go from getting all of the attention to getting less than half of it. Perhaps my parents could have explained why, as there were times I wondered if they liked her better than me.

We are finding it ok my ds is nearly 7 and we have a 11 week old dd. He was so excited throughout the pregnancy and when she was born he loved her wanted to hold her all the time

As time has gone on she has taken up a lot of evening time as she’s got colic/reflux so I find it hard to spend time with him . So he says he is jealous of her and his behaviour was becoming challenging

Now dd is getting better and I feel better can spend more time with him. But he’s not really bothered with her anymore.

I had an only child for ten years. He has very mixed feelings about his little brother.

On one level he was delighted to no longer be the centre of my world and to have more freedom; DS2 is challenging and demands most of my attention when I'm not at work. DS1 became very independent by necessity and absolutely thrived on it.

On another level, DS1 really doesn't enjoy his brother's company. He retreated to his bedroom and his x-box and only really emerges to be his old self when DS2 is not around. If he is forced to be around DS2, he acts more like a deputy dad than anything else.

I had fond dreams of DS1 playing kickabout and lego with DS2, but in reality, he will play with him for about 20 minutes and only if I ask him to. He quickly gets uptight about the Only-Makes-Sense-To-The-5-Year-Old Logic and starts looking for a way out. Which is sad, because DS2 idolises him and would do anything to be around him. He glows like a tiny sun when his big brother pays attention to him.

5.5 years between my two, they’re now 8 and 2. Sometimes it is hard as DD1 still gets jealous/wants all the attention, but then she’s always been like that (more so with DH than me). Other times the two of them play really nicely together and DD1 loves helping out or showing DD2 how to do stuff. All told, I don’t think we have any more issues with sibling rivalry than we would’ve had with a smaller age gap.

I am expecting it to be difficult and I know finding stuff for them to do together will be hard. I'm not under any illusion that they will be play mates but I hope it will be ok. I struggled for years with deciding to try for another...

There’s 5 years between my two and honestly it’s been a smooth transition. My older one loves her little brother and is really helpful and protective of him. It was a bit of an adjustment the first 2 months but that’s normal with every new baby. I think the large age gap (admittedly not as large as yours) was a real advantage. She had our full attention for a long time but now she’s independent enough and in school all day that ds has plenty of attention too.