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Original poster

ROAR Toddler group nightmare ROAR

46 replies

colditz · 21/05/2007 10:35

I am so so tolerant of mothers who have difficult to handle children.

But I walked out of a toddler group in a strop after 25 minutes this morning, because my 13 monther had been physically attacked 3 TIMES by the same little girl, and had toys snatched and not replaced 8 times, again, same child, while Mumsy looked on and simpered "Oh Tilly!"

She didn't move, or anything. At one point she made the child sit in a chair, but as she got straight up and did as she pleased again without being stopped, it was pretty ineffective.

So, ROAAAAR!

(And before the pounce, I have got an older child, know very well that this is normal behavior, but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be damn well stopped!"

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rowan1971 · 24/05/2007 20:59

It is really extraordinary how many mothers (it has always been mothers in my experience) just sit on their arses reading 'Thicko!' magazine while their child beats another child senseless.

Coldtits · 03/03/2009 13:37

I have to update this thread, I must.

Tilly .... it still running rings around her mother. She really is quite a charming child, once she works out how far you can be pushed, and as predicted, she sticks to me like glue at toddler group, because I actually set boundries on her behavior.

Just thought you'd like to know the result of ineffective parenting of a toddler!

(Ps Ds2 is an argumentative little sod, don't for one minute get the impression I think I'm perfect)

lockets · 03/03/2009 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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stealthsquiggle · 03/03/2009 13:46

Am liking the idea of toddler bodyguard...

I think I am the primary school version - all DS's classmates seem to think that I am the person to come and tell when whoever is supposed to be picking them up hasn't turned up or when someone has fallen out of a tree

Shoshe · 03/03/2009 13:48

Kit Bit I have that phrase down pat, and with just the right tone as well

I am 'known' as that stroppy CM , but if can watch three under twos damn sure another mother an watch one 4 year old.

wolfear · 03/03/2009 15:24

I think we are well within our rights to tell these brats their behaviour is wrong if their parents sit by in a haze saying nothing. I've snatched toys back on my 19mo DS's behalf a couple of times at play group.

Threadworm · 03/03/2009 15:28

Coldtits your updating of old thread made me think that WanderingTrolley was back! I was so excited. And now I am very sad. Because she is not here.

sparkletoes · 04/03/2009 12:27

Loving this thread, welldone Kitbit if only there were more like you around!

There is a particularly violent little boy at the toddlers I go to, he is now 3 and has calmed down slightly. However his mum used to sit with back turned holding her DD seemingly oblivious to the sometimes bloody (yes bloody!) children her son had lashed out at.

However about a month ago my own DS1 caught my watching eye and to my horror he pushed a little girl (just happened to be violent boy's little sister!) out of a playhouse. I put my baby DS back in his car seat and hurried over to the scene. I took DS1 out of the playhouse and calmly but firmly told him that was not acceptable behaviour. I then picked up the little girl and placed her back in the playhouse and brought DS1 over to sit on a chair beside me for a few minutes. He was protesting loudly initially but seemed to get the message and has not acted like this again. Hopefully he won't ever do that again but if he did I wouldn't hesitate to act again.

Annoying when others don't bother their a**e!

Stretch · 04/03/2009 12:30

Oooh, coldtits! You live in the same area as me! Which toddler group was it so I can avoid!

BalloonSlayer · 04/03/2009 12:55

To give a slightly different perspective, there was a girl like this at DD's playroup. Hitting, snatching, Mother oblivious.

I did moan to the playgroup manager - why does that bloody woman do nothing!?! She asked me to cut the Mum and child some slack as the Mum was a single mother, very broke, low and stressed, found the toddler hard to cope with and needed to get out of the house. Playgroup manager was trying to encourage her to come to the group, thought it might help.

Mumble mutter from BalloonSlayer.

4 years on she's a lovely little girl, a friend of DDs and Mum seems very happy too.

I am glad I spoke to the leader as if I hadn't I'd never have looked at it like that.

And BTW I never say "perhaps they were having a bad day" on AIBU threads.

I just wanted to add my one experience of horror child from playgroup.

nightshade · 04/03/2009 13:01

as a parent of a very well behaved child, do you not think there is also value in teaching our children how to deal with such children themselves?

after all, if toddlers groups are all about teach social graces, are they not also about learning that there are bullyies out there and how to respond.

i always tell my child to shout no loudly and come and play with someone else if someone picks on her.

hanaflower · 04/03/2009 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stealthsquiggle · 04/03/2009 22:28

Whilst I take your point, nightshade, it's hard to teach a 18mth old to deal with another child, not much older, who casually leans over and bites them, hard on the cheek though - which I witnessed at a soft play centre. I know both children reasonably well (both siblings of children in DS's class - we were there for a party) so I snatched the shell-shocked bitee out of the playhouse, cuddled her and took her to find her Mummy. The biter's mother remained oblivious - the sad bit is that neither I nor the bitee's mother confronted her because we knew she would not give a damn, still less do anything

Original poster

colditz · 22/04/2011 21:05

Further update

'Tilly' attends school with my friend's DD - they walk to school together - and has been bullying the other children so much that her mother has been asked to impliment a reward system at home in conjuntion with any vaguely 'nice' behavior at schooll.

'Tilly's' mother apparently responded with "I'm not telling her off, she doesn't like it!"

OP posts:

Bumperlicioso · 22/04/2011 21:15

How bizarre! Didn't notice the date and was thinking 'I'm sure colditz doesn't have a toddler!'

Poor Tilly sounds like she's been let down by her mum. Hope school sorts her out.

CarGirl · 22/04/2011 21:18

colditz that's really sad.

"she doesn't like being told off" is the mum's IQ less than 100????

LynetteScavo · 22/04/2011 21:21

I met a mother like this on the local toddler group circuit.

I then found out that she had a difficult childhood with a very strict/abusive mother. She had swung in completely the other direction, and never told her children off. She's a perfectly nice woman in every other way, but not many people are too keen on her DC.

LadyInTheRadiat0r · 22/04/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMonster · 22/04/2011 21:24

How sad that the mother never learnt to discipline her child. Colditz, I bet you were the only person to ever set a boundary for her.

Whatevs · 22/04/2011 21:26

Hell is toddler groups.

If I want to ignore my kid and read a maggo, I sit in the garden. Top of the day. Don't say I never give you anything, Mumsnetters.

Whatevs · 22/04/2011 21:26

tip

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