thread to show cod how terrible my parenting really is

[Cappuccino]

ok two examples

dd doing homework decides that this is the homework where you needed a tray of things (it is not that is last week's)

me: no we don't need a tray this week see the picture we only need a clipboard and a pen
dd: you are WRONG you are WRONG we need a tray Mrs Teacher said
me: no this week we just need a clipboard the tray was last week for all the bits of stuff
dd: no (waves around homework sheet) we need a TRAY

pokes me with pencils
on removal of each pencil picks up other pencil to poke with
on removal of all pencils starts pulling off tablecloth

shed is threatened

Example 2

We are eating

dd does not want to eat and narks about pouring stuff on table to get attention

food is removed; no attention

dd continues narking about begins to poke sister with finger-end since I am ignoring her

sister is put off dinner

two children narking about

dd1 on naughty step

much wailing then crawls off

shed is threatened

(dd is 6 btw)

most of parenting issues are abut following things through...

my daughter is 12 going on 13 and dp and i have just realised that the reason for her waivering behaviour is that we 'give in' to her more than the boys

she gets sleep overs - she tugs at the heart strings in short i dont thing it is unfair to say sometimes she 'bullies' me into letting her have her own way -

I feel too tired/stressed/worn down to see through the punishments

At the moment we are having a 'reining-in' time which is so hard but pays dividends

i think supernanny is vile and very silly.

her voice irritates me to start with and i get the impression she has bought every pareting book around and only ever managed to read half way through each....thus she has a very muddled which just negate each other.

sorry for that little rant but she really does get on my tits

HTT????? could someone clarify?

My dds self discipline. It no longer has any power.

I've seen dd2 during a wrestling match with dd1 go for the hair - weigh up the consequences - decide to go for a full pony tail yank resulting in ear splitting screams from dd1, then she'll go and sit herself on the naughty step and look serene for a few minutes.

need to do homework with her she has cerebral palsy and needs a helper (for fine motor difficulties)

doing it alone impossible

boco you have it 'sussed'

otter - all together now, How to Talk (longer title goes on almost indefinitely like this; So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk - or something like that).
mamazon - I quite agree. She's power mad, all those steps and corners and awful princess star charts. Mad, I tell you.
Boco - ditch the step and cut their hair.

I could go on. But Cod most possesive I've noticed of HTT. I'm just HTT form monitor. She is Teach. Teach with good shoes and Strong Opinions.

OtterInnit - really relate to "I feel too tired/stressed/worn down to see through the punishments " that is so true!

Supernanny is not respected at all in the business.

Fair enough Capp, didn't realize. Okay, so when going on and on about the tray, avoid the confrontation. Have the tray there, then when doing the homework will become powerfully obvious that it isn't necessary and can be shoved to one side? Then you won't both fall out about it.

I dont know about that but my favourite parenting technique is just to put a positive lilt on things

example!

DP 'R - now come on eat your dinner or else you will be punished'

me' 'R come on now are you going to show Mummy how fabbo you are at eating dinner - I am going to tell Daddy what a BIG boy you are'

Only works on little cchildren as its about distraction and naiivity....but it is laying down foundations which will continue into older childrhood

When i feel good myself i think my parenting techniques are pretty good, i listen and talk to them, I'm a master of distraction and persuation and positive reinforcement, i spend time doing fun things and try to make not so much fun things enjoyable, i've got boundaries and rules and my children are basically well balanced and well behaved.

When i'm not feeling so good myself, i have no patience, and the constant shrieks and whines of 'muuuummmyyyyyy!!' drive me nuts. I react badly to things, I forget how to reason, I can't stand how illogical a toddler is and WHY she neeeeeds a red spoon and not a blue one, and why they both neeeed the blue and green plate and why neither of them will back down and why dd2 can't just eat without every pigging mouthful having to be a fishy swimming into an arsing cave!.

The thing that makes the stairs (our version of the naughty step) work for me is that it now always ends with whichever parent dished out the punishment sitting at same level with child and talking to them about misdemeanour.
'So dd what did you do wrong then?'
'I sat on ds and bounced on him until he cried'
'Was that a good idea?'
'No it was unkind etc'
'So what are you going to do now?'
'Say sorry and give him a kiss.'

Sometimes followed by..
'I'm so so so sorry, I won't ever ever never do it again in the whole world wide world in real true life'
Depending on what mood she's in.

i agree re positive reindforcment
"o h you are so good at odign your homework wihtout fussing" or pretend to let them over hear you ont he phoen if ou watn RAEL drama

and agree wiht Wmt hat i amke my kdis settle argument themselves
( eg maybe a penalty decision with ds1 nad 2 cuases a russucs and ds2 cries)
s o i say to ds1 well you ahgev no one to play wiht now so youd ebtter go and put it right
cure ds1 gurnign at ds2 adn cheereringhim up

capy i think you nee dot go ont he HTT thread

oh have ordered book yes will go on thread

to be fair usually we are ok

but then we have periods of Terror

child too clever

NO you too inconsistent i htink you ll find {

aww not fair

we are super consistent for a while

but then child named the naughty step 'the stroppy step' and then started taking herself off to it when she was peeved

and it took all the wind from our sails

also chart on wall with sad faces and happy faces

'oh just give me a sad face' she would say if we opened our mouths to complain and then would ignore us

i have posted on this before re eating there was someone - was it anniemac? - can't remember, annie something anyway - with a dss with similar physical disabilities who apparently as just as good at using situations to his advantage they learn more evil ways it seems

everyone pitched in with their helpful suggestions re picnics and child-involvement with fishcake preparation but she understood

she i sbeing blardy cheeky imo
dont let her have the right of redress tlel ther to shaaaaaaaaaadit and listen

( hmm may well be out of depth wiht diablilty thing)

that makes 2 of us

every toiem she answers back id tkae it one step further lie rugby referees do( ask dh)

oh no dh no use on rugby

it will just turn into huge lecture on how cricket is the gentleman's game

here is earlier thread last two posts god it made me happy that I was not the worst parent in the world it seems to work for ever bugger else

(have sent you long list of worthy stuff to read btw)