Hairy 10yo DD

[Gemsie1984]

My DD is 10 and started puberty around 8. She's very developed in her chest and has quite a bit of pubic hair, both on her moo and under her arms. Her legs are very hairy also. I'm quite hairy, as his her father but I'm pale so not as noticeable whereas DD is half Latin American so she's olive skinned. She has started getting noticeable upper lip hair too. She's came home from school a few times in the last few weeks saying that people are making fun of her hairy legs and her 'moustache' - kids don't have filters so my question is.. what age do you think it's okay to start removing unwanted hair?

As soon as your DD feels she wants to. If it helps her confidence then why not.

I was quite hairy as a child - I honestly wish I started removing it as soon as I had it, by waxing it... children can be horrible and unfortunately body hair is something that's quite commonly picked on. I personally would start waxing her; I wasn't allowed to and learned the hard way about the realities of shaving 😂

My sister is 13 but quite hairy, I was waxing her from 11 as she asked me too - she was comfortable with it and it's her body... I don't see the issue as long as she's comfortable 😊

Her moo? I assume you mean 'down there' but not 100% sure. In answer to your question do not suggest hair removal at all. It reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with her natural hair. Instead try to show her positive images of hairy women, quite a few people on Instagram these days that are doing this stuff. If she decides she wants to remove it then fine but don't validate the teasing by helping her change herself to avoid it.

I say this as a hairy woman who suffered through ywars of hair removal for no reason.

I had loads of body hair, too. I hated it! Fuck 'positive images of hairy women', all that hair made me miserable. I grew up in a hot climate. The hair trapped sweat and made me smelly and I got acne on my face under the tasche and hair that trapped sweat. I did a load of ballet and all that hair could be seen through my tights and leotards, I worked hard on my form and body but the first thing you saw was all that hair.

I'm so glad the first time I brought it up my mother took me to a good waxer. I've been waxing since I was 11. I now wax at home but a lot of the hair follicles have been destroyed over the years.

I have no regrets at all.

I think your first step should be to go into school and get them to have a talk with the kids about a) bullying and b) what is and isn’t normal about puberty, growing up and body hair.

Then you talk to your dd. Explain it is choice, and if people have an issue with someone’s appearance that is their problem. Not hers. Some people choose to remove or change it, but it isn’t obligatory.

However, if she ever did decide she wanted to look at her options for her body hair she can talk to you about it.

has quite a bit of pubic hair, both on her moo and under her arms

You do know you don’t grow pubic hair under your arms? I’m assuming “moo” is her mons pubis- pubic mound, hence pubic hair? That she should not need to worry about.

And please, please don’t even mention “cleaner” “hygienic” or any of the other crap people talk about when referring to hair removal.

My DD is the same age and started puberty around the same time as your DD. She is also very developed and asked to shave her underarm hair recently. I shaved them for her as she was unsure about using a razor. She started her period too around 2 months ago so I think this has caused her to notice the changes in her body more. She's not asked me to help remove the hair on her legs but she is fair haired so that's not an issue for her.

My daughter is also 10 and developing body hair, she recently (past few weeks) asked me how she could get rid of her armpit hair and I said it could be shaved, which she wanted me to do. She does a lot of gymnastics and I think she felt more comfortable having hairless armpits.
So whenever she wants to I guess. I don’t agree with pp about showing “photos of hairy women” ... kids can be mean.

Her moo? Isn’t it funny the names people have for their hoo-jah!

Any road up, sounds like she’ll be happier without the moustache, the oxter hair and anything that strays outside her knickers.

Thanks for the replies!
Her moo is indeed her vagina, sorry! I've always called it a moo.. 😂
I did shave her legs once a while back as she said she hated it and my dad went nuts saying that she was too young blah blah so it put me off.
I'm all for body positivity but that won't stop the playground kids being mean. I started shaving when I was about 12, off my own back without any parental input (I lived with my Dad). I would rather not shave her as I don't want her trying to shave without my supervision and cutting herself. I'm quite liberal mostly with my body hair and there's times I go au natural so she knows that body hair is perfectly normal and acceptable, but I'm not liking the fact that people are poking fun at her and if there's a way I can put an end to it then surely I should..

Her moo is indeed her vagina, sorry! I've always called it a moo.. 😂

You don’t have pubic hair in your vagina, either.

Sorry but terminology can be very, very important. My dd has come home today with a tale of a classmate who has been “weeing blood”. This poor kid as no clue what is happening to her at 10 years old. Dd did her best to explain the biology, and i think the child now knows it isn’t wee, at least.

As someone who also suffered the relentless misery of being somewhat hirsute thanks to my Mediterranean genes, I say it's important to ask what SHE wants.

By all means explain the process of puberty and explain that it's very normal to develop hair in these areas, but if she doesn't like it NOW then it's important to respect that. My mum waxed my legs for me when I was 11, and I was grateful that she listened to what I wanted. I certainly don't believe that she should just be shown a bunch of pictures of hairy women and told to suck it up because it's "normal". Her feelings are her own, and should be respected. Whatever age.

Some people don't mind body hair, and that's fine too but if she wants it off, let her get rid. She may eventually decide she doesn't mind it, and embrace it, but let her come to conclusions about it in her own time 😊

Please let her do what she wants. My mum didn't let me shave and was all for body positivity and all that shit. It was rubbish and I was teased. In an ideal world children wouldn't care about this stuff but they do and always have done. It genuinely feels like you're the only one who isn't allowed to shave and she'll do what the rest of us did, find a blunt yellow bid razor and butcher herself

Dd was hairy from an early age- she used removal cream on her legs and got eyebrows and tash threaded. I let her do this as soon as she became self conscious. I’m all for letting it grow if you feel comfy doing so but the average year 7 is already squirming inside with embarrassment 90% of the time, why make it harder

My daughter has beautiful olive skin but brig blessed with that also means she is very hairy. She is 7. She came home from school, got a pair of tweezers out of my make up bag and asked me to pull out her moustache.

She had been teased at school for it, I pulled out a few hairs and she was happy with it, she hasn't asked me to do it since but I would in a heartbeat if she asked. It's her body and her choice .

I get mine threaded and I wouldn't want someone to stop me.

Let it be her choice and help her with it, teasing will diminish her body confidence a lot quicker than positive images of hairy women will raise it.

FFS ignore those trying to give you a biology lesson or those saying your daughter should embrace her hairiness, she's not going to feel any better searching hairy women on the web (probably get s lesson in v v hairy women meant for men with a fetish) or watching The Greatest Showman on repeat, singing This is Me into the bullies face isn't going to stop them teasing her and affecting her self esteem.

Get her lip waxed and buy her a wet and dry lady shave for everything else.

I'd allow her to remove her facial hair immediately, wax will prevent darker regrowth, do it on a Saturday so it's got Sunday to let the redness down before back to school. I'd also allow underarms to be hair free as it's a visible place. Arms and legs I'd leave as long as possible. If you meet her half way it's likely to help delay the bigger areas

@Twinkie1 I have to give you a shout out personally as your reply made me literally lol I think that it's true - her self esteem and body confidence is the most important and being bullied by kids won't stop if she continues to be hairy at this age - that's just a fact. I'll shave her legs for her tonight and wax her lip, screw what my Dad thinks. He's not the one that has to stand in the playground and be bullied! She's agreed that she wants rid of it.. my gosh they don't stay babies for long..

I think it's so sad that the accepted response to being bullied for something that is entirely normal is to alter the body of the bullied child rather than tackling the bullies. Everyone who thinks this is OK has internalised misogyny. We have a long way to go before we are anywhere near to equality for women.

You don't think boys are getting teased for having unibrows and/or being hairy Imchilbo? They are.

I wasn’t allowed to remove hair as a child and it was horrible. Probably because my dm had very fine light hair so didn’t understand the difference. As it happens I embrace the hairiness now but I got this way by experiencing my body lots of different ways, including hairless. I would definitely mention the bullying to school but allow your dd to remover hair as well.
It’s just hair, it will grow back.

my mum was also all about body positivity and not shaving.
I got teased relentlessly. I wish id had the confidence to realise that she wouldnt be disappointed in me if I shaved.

I'm not about not shaving at all. As I said my Dad made me wobble when I shaved her legs previously. Sometimes I'll shave, sometimes I don't it just depends on my mood, the weather and what I'm up to. I'm very open regarding my body and my DD has seen me in all my nakedness on lots of occasions. She enjoys the fact that she's developing but it's the negative name-calling that's impacting on her. She keeps getting stomach cramps atm too so I really don't think it'll be long until she starts her period.

If she wants it gone then do it. I wasn't allowed to remove hair until I was 13 and it really needed to be a lot earlier. Don't let her suffer