just needed to share...my niece has had 2 abortions in 6mths and it keeps making me cry...

[dancingtina]

Realise this might upset people and not even sure if this is the right place to post it but just needed to share how I was feeling with people who I think might understand my feelings.

I've got 2 beautiful kids, had 1 miscarriage and DD2 took 2 years to conceive. I have a friend who is desperate for a baby and her boyfriend isn't interested and another friend who has been told she's got fertility problems and she's just got divorced and all she can think about is time running out for her to meet someone and have a baby, if she is even able to...so quite a lot of baby stuff in my life (I'm 33 by the way)

Anywayyyy, my 19yr old niece got pregnant last year, didn't know who the father was and eventually after much humming and harring and I'll have it, I won't, yes I will, no I won't...decided to have an abortion. I was pregnant (exactly the same number of weeks as her at the time) and her decision had me in bits BUT I do consider myself to be pro-choice so tried not to dwell on it. I found out 2 weeks ago she is pregnant again with a different bloke and decided to have another abortion!!! I burst into tears when my MIL told me, it's like she is just 'flushing' babies away, just using abortion as a contraceptive. It upsets me so much when i think of my own heartbreak and joy over the miracle of a newborn baby and that i know so many women in their 30's who are desperate to have children.

All the family are upset and annoyed with her but are supporting her cos she's family and she's an adult and what else can you do? BUT I just can't stop thinking about it. I saw her today when I had my little 4mth old with me and I could hardly look at her, just wanted to scream 'look what you've thrown away' - it's like she doesn't even give it another thought.

I don't know what I want people to say other than I'm not a total nutcase for being this upset about it. My husband can't understand why it's got to me so much.

allgonebellyup, it's just an emotional reaction - I felt similar when I was in hospital having one of my miscarriages and there was a woman opposite having an abortion because of morning sickness. It just hurt emotionally to be losing a dearly wanted child and have someone else choosing to do the same. I suppose I just wanted to swap positions with her, really. No nastiness intended at all, just lots of pain and sadness.

She is using this as a contraception method now and it may not be affecting her, but this is something is going to have to live with for the rest of her life....something that may rear its ugly head when she decides to start a family.

I would say nothing, it is sad but it is her karma she is dealing with here

thanks for all your replies, sorry if i appear to have wound some of you up!

I would not dream of speaking to her about contraception or even letting on slightly how I feel about her or her decisions - i just posted cos i wanted some reasurrance that i'm not mad being upset about it.

Am sure I'll get over it, think the hospital has now suggested she gets the contraception injection - she said she 'doesn't understand the pill' - she is a bit 'slow' for want of a better more pc expression.

Thanks anyway for your replies

That sounds like a good idea for her DT.

I understand totally your reaction.

ah so she was on the pill but just didnt take it correctly. in her defence she never should have been given the pill if they could see there was the slightest bit of misunderstanding.