Mum guilt?

[Kate007007]

Does anyone else get 'mothers guilt' from time to time If they do something for themselves?
I find going to work makes me really feel kind of guilty, or even if I buy myself something (like a pair of shoes)every so often.
My son is always spoiled and well looked after, he never goes without anything he needs or wants, but it still bugs me inside if I do something for myself.
Like I'm somehow letting him down I guess is the best way to explain the feeling.

My mother never went to work while raising her kids,she was with us 24/7, and she hardly ever bought herself anything either, mostly for money reasons(my parents didn't exactly have much money).
But she also would not accept gifts, even from her own kids, and she still has a hard time doing so (despite all 3 of her kid being in their mid twenties, including myself) so I think it was just a mindset I was raised around. She also grew up in a household that didnt have a lot of money and she went without a lot of thing growing up.

My mum has set a really really high 'benchmark' in my mind and I think it's a subconscious thing my mind wants me to live up to. But the other part of me doesn't think its logical to feel like that.

Anyone else ever feel that way?

No, i feel like my DD benefits from having a mother who has had some headspace. She has been an extremely clingy baby so i think it benefits her massively to spend one-on-one time with my Dh. I feel like I have more patience and am a better parent for a couple of hours a week doing my hobby. I also think she is now ready for nursery and it will help her develop her social skills, plus I'm sure the staff are much more skilled than I am at entertaining toddlers.
I am glad i am a parent now and not 40+ years ago where i would have been expected to be a SAHM! I am NOT cut out for it, and have massive respect for my friends and mum who are SAHP.

No, not really.

I love my children and do as much as I can for them but I also think it's very important to have other things in my life.

I struggled a lot with the loss of my self-identity that came with having babies and very young children so I purposefully took up a hobby and went back to work despite it costing us more money than I earn.

I keep thinking to myself that they'll be grown and gone within a blink of an eye so I'd be foolish to make them my whole world.

My friend once told me that along with the injection you get to expel the placenta after giving birth, they give you a dose of Mum guilt
I don’t feel bad about doing things for myself, I work hard, my kids are loved and cared for, they do lots of activities. So I feel happier if I spend some time out for myself, and i’m a better parent for it.