Football - what to do?

[stressedoutfred]

Hi all,

Any tips would be great, but if not it's good to have somewhere to just write it down! I'll try and keep it as clear as possible and not drip feed

DS is 9. A year ago he started training with a local football club. We didn't sign him up initially as he'd just finished chemotherapy and was still struggling with the exhaustive side effects. The team manager was lovely and more than happy for DS to go along to training. DS has since built up his stamina.

DS has a few medical issues which make playing football difficult, the main one being he is visually impaired. He's not great at the game ( probably because he can't see the ball properly ) but football is the love of his life so he wants to be able to join in. He's also not physically in the best shape as the chemo left him with lots of issues with food ( he's gained a lot of weight) but we're working on that and the football was helping. We don't want special treatment for DS, we just want him to be treated like a 9 year old footy mad boy.

Recently it's become obvious that the team manager and coaches don't think he's up to it - we've been asking for months for him to be signed up to be fobbed off that there's no space, yet they sign up other boys who started training after DS.

A few weeks ago I was approached and asked if DS would like to take part in a tournament. Cue a very excited boy !!

Yesterday was the tournament. We paid to join in like the other children. Was told by the manager what to have him wearing ( manager wasn't there yesterday- coach running the team). DS was beyond excited yesterday, he's waited a long time to be able to play properly.

We fully expected DS to be subbed more than the other 7 players ( 6 aside) and prepared DS for this. DS isn't as good as the others, we totally understand that.

They played 64 mins and DS was played for 2 of those minutes . He was sub for 6 games and brought out for the last minute of 2 other games. DS was devastated and looked really deflated on the side line.

When it was obvious he wasn't going to be played in the last match my DH went and got him and was told he's not as good as the others and that he was learning from them by watching them . All he learnt from yesterday is that he isn't good enough. We walked away feeling humiliated that we'd stood there for 2 hours watching and waiting etc.

We now don't know what to do. DS is desperate to be given a chance somewhere. He tries really hard and is a lovely team player. We just want somewhere where it doesn't matter if he doesn't score the goals, it just matters that he has a good time and is part of a team. Do those sort of teams even exist? We have looked for a visual impairment football team but nothing exists for children in our area.

I just don't know what to do. DS is desperate to join a team so I don't want to just give up

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Bump

Hi there. My friend has three children who love sports, two of which attend various sports things like junior Paralympics training and disability championships. One of hers has visual impairment and one has autism and they absolutely LOVE it! They make all children feel included and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen happier kids! Would this be something he may be interested in? Perhaps bring him down to one and see how it goes. It can be as relaxed or as serious as they like and they swear by it.

Good luck I hope he finds something!

I totally sympathise. Even at this tender age, the world of junior football can feel like 'dog eat dog' sometimes. What happens to the inclusivity, the importance of taking part, and the fun element of sport I just don't know. Once they're in a league, the competitiveness seems to take over completely, no matter what the ethos of the club.

I don't have much advice, I'm afraid, other than maybe trying a team which aren't particularly high-flying. You'll find that if they are anywhere near the top of the league, there are going to be the 'star players' who always get picked. Less pressure if the team is further down their particular league, maybe?

I've always tried to comfort my ds if he's subbed off for most of the game by reminding him that it's the same, even for professionals. A friend's (much older) son got taken on as an U18 by a premiership club, occasionally got picked for the squad, often travelling hundreds of miles, only to spend the entire match on the bench. Not really a comfort, I suppose, but indicative of the ruthless world of football. And yes, you would think it would be different for 9 year olds.

Keep plugging away, and I hope your ds finds a team to suit him. How about football courses at the leisure centre during holiday times? That might have the added advantage of allowing him to work on his skills. Good luck.

Thank you @WatcherintheRye - we've thought about the idea of trying a lower league team so will look into that more now, we've also considered a summer club as well so some great ideas, thanks!!

@FranticallyPeaceful - thanks so much for the suggestion about the junior Paralympics! I've had a brief look at the website today and it looks like there may be a couple of local football clubs

Sorry to hear this. I had this with one of my boys a few years ago at u7s.
I moved him from an A league club to a lower one (D I think) and then he was one of the better ones on the team. He found it much more fun. I have a younger one who's on an A league team and very good and some of the other parents moan that my son doesn't get subbed enough - I know how it feels both ways!! Good luck, my children have gained a lot from playing in local teams.

Thanks @MrsZebra , I'm going to have a look at some other leagues.

stressedoutfred, you want to find a club in a lower league.

The more talented children often get bored of the lower leagues or scouted to join higher league teams. As such, lower league teams are great starting point for boys like your son.

If all else fails - you can always start up your own football team!

A mum friend of mine did this when her son got so disheartened after 5 years of never being picked for the match day team. She didn't know how to coach a team, but found someone who did through the local adult team and she is team manager. Her son is always picked.

Hi all

Just wanted to say thanks so much for your replies, wanted to update the thread

I've since heard from the manager who has totally taken the side of the coach who was at the tournament ( because he's claimed DS played more than he did!) so I think we've totally done the right thing moving him. I've found a disability team so I'm waiting to hear back from them. DS also has a friend who is VI and keen to play too so I'm hoping they can start together!

Hi, it's very interesting topic for discussion. A very interesting topic for discussion, I often read football predictions www.mightytips.com/bookmakers/high-stakes-betting-sites/
and tips, although very often it is extremely lazy to do this and try to rely on fate and excitement.