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Parenting

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Nightmare getting clothes for 10 year old daughter

5 replies

Fayrazzled · 02/06/2018 17:43

My 10 year old is a tomboy- she much prefers boys clothes, her friends are mainly boys, and she had her hair cut short last year. Getting clothes for her is becoming more and more of an issue. Mostly she selects from the boys ranges- she says this is a comfort thing- e.g. she prefers the longer short sleeve on a boys' t-shirt compared to the a cap sleeve on a girls' or longer length boys' shorts compared to girls which are much shorter. I do understand- looking for suitable clothes for her has made me realise just how gendered clothes are and how difficult it is to get girls' clothes that aren't in pastel colours, with frills, bows, unicorns, etc. Having said that, despite the comfort thing, she won't wear leggings- doesn't like the feel on her legs etc. So many clothes are ruled out.

But- now she is getting older- other children are starting to notice more and be unkind. She has come home from school crying because children have teased her and called her transgender. Maybe she will decide she is in the future, I don't know. (I hope not, not because I'm transphobic but because I recognise what a difficult course that would be). She's often mistaken for a boy, which annoys me- she doesn't look like one but most people assume short hair = boy. Her older brother is worried about her transition to high school- he thinks she is going to get picked on.

I don't know what I'm asking really. Does anyone have experience of this? Partly I'm frustrated because I've just been trying to find clothes for a smart occasion for her- and it is a nightmare- part of me just wants her to conform! Part of me admires her desire to stick to what is comfortable to her. Part of me is frightened she may decide she is trans-gender and the future that might hold. Or that she is forced down a transgender route because as a society we seem less able to recognise non-girlie girls these days.

OP posts:
myotherbagisgucci · 02/06/2018 18:35

I haven't got any experience in this, but I love nothing more than comfy/stylish clothes.

River island are brilliant for on trend jeans for all ages and they have lots of styles (skinny, jeggings, boyfriend etc.) she could match it up with a t-shirt with some converse and Vans!

Something like these I suppose...

Nightmare getting clothes for 10 year old daughter
Nightmare getting clothes for 10 year old daughter
Nightmare getting clothes for 10 year old daughter
ems137 · 02/06/2018 18:50

Op I was very much a tom boy at that age too! I used to live in trackie bottoms and football tops, I even persuaded my mum to let me have my bum length hair cut sort and shaved a bit at the back!! I literally cried when my dad tried making me wear "girls" school trousers for high school, I didn't like tight trousers at all. I also turned down a 90% scholarship for the local private school purely because girls had to wear skirts 😂

By the time I was 14 I started wearing the odd bit of "girls" clothing and started taking more care of my hair etc. By 16/18 I wore the odd dress and nicer clothes, got my hair coloured at the salon and enjoyed a bit of makeup and nail polish.

No one ever took the piss out of me. I couldn't say if it would still be the same now, I honestly don't know. I doubt I would've cared too much tbh. I wouldn't have been seen dead in belly tops and skirts so I just didn't care, I was much happier playing football.

Anyway, now I'm "girly" in many ways. I get my eyelashes done, nails, eyebrows and hair. I'm not super feminine in my clothing choices but I need to be comfy and practical with 4 young children to chase after!

myotherbagisgucci · 02/06/2018 18:51

Id just like to add that I'm just saying that not all girls have to dress girly, I certainly don't.

Your daughter should be able to wear whatever clothes she likes without any judgement. Unfortunately we all know how cruel some small minded people/children can be.

I hope your daughter is comfortable in whatever she decides to wear.

Thanks

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DinoGreen · 02/06/2018 20:40

I was another one who was a massive tomboy from about age 11 to 15 or so but then slowly became more girly. I didn’t have short hair but I never wore make up and mostly wore boys clothes that were too big for me. I had a big group of friends and never got picked on. I agree with looking in places like River Island, also H&M - lots of quite unisex options.

harrietm87 · 03/06/2018 07:41

OP I was like this - had short hair, wore only jeans, didn't like playing "girls games" etc. This was in the 90s and I think clothes were less gendered then - I wore things from girls ranges but they were as you describe - longer t shirt sleeves and long shorts. Anyway sorry I can't help with the clothes issue now (my baby is 6 weeks old) but just to say I am not transgender! (Straight and married to a slightly effeminate man as it happens). Such a shame that kids can't just be kids.

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