I am a single parent of a 5 year old boy who has ASD. I also work part time and have all the usual responsibilities. I sometimes struggle to cope with everything on my plate at the same time, especially with a perpetual sore back that the doctors just keep prescribing pain killers for since November last year.
On the very hot Sunday we have just experienced, I stupidly attempted to paint my decking while my Son and dog were in the house on top of stripping beds and doing the laundry etc. For about an hour I was up and down from my hands and knees while painting the decking due to my Son opening the patio door and letting the dog out, and me putting the dog back in not to stand in the paint and carry it into my house. Well after about an hour of me telling my Son to close the door not to let the dog out, my patience was exhausted, my Son let the dog out once more and it headed straight for the wet paint. I just lost the plot and shouted louder than I realised at him for letting the dog out and blaming him for the dog carrying paint into my house. I also shouted at my dog ! I lost my temper for about a minute then realised I had just shouted at my 5 year old ASD Son and I felt appalled with myself. I stopped what I was doing, I put my Son and dog back into the house, locked the patio door for a few minutes while I washed out my brush. I then went back in the house, my Son was sitting on my bed playing his tablet like nothing had happened. I gave him a big cuddle and spent half an hour laying beside him before we all went back outside, as the paint was dry. My Mum had text inviting us along for dinner, I got us all ready and went to see her. I told my parents what had happened, my mum told me I need more patience and my Son doesn't understand. I totally agree but unfortunately the stress became to much for me. I think I have also heard my neighbours speaking about what happened on Sunday, they were out in their gardens too and clearly heard me. I have since went to the Doctor and told her everything, I have now been signed off work for two weeks, this is for me to get some time for myself and rest. The Doctor thinks I was burnt out and stressed.
I think I have since heard my neighbour saying something about reporting me for shouting at my Son. Anyone I have mentioned this to think I am paranoid, you don't get reported for just shouting at your child, although it was wrong. But I can't stop feeling on edge and running to the toilet as my nerves are shattered wondering if I am in trouble ?
Please advise me !