2 under 2 the early weeks

[Mindisboggled]

Hello, I'm still on hunt for parents experiences with 2 under 2, particularly whilst the youngest is newborn.

I've posted before and read a few other threads and the jist is it's tough but get easier, great age gap as they play together as they get older etc which is great, however I'd really like some more details.

My dh works away alot, he'll be off the 2 weeks after birth then I'm on my own with newborn and 18mth old.
Everything from getting up and everyone ready. Showers etc
To feeding newborn on demand (breastfed) whilst still dealing with 18mth old and cooking/washing etc etc
To bath and bedtime. Older child (currently 15mth) is a bit hit & miss for bedtime usually can do down and self settle but has periods (for a few days) where I have to hold and cuddle to sleep or screams the place down.

So hit me what's it really like with two young ones.

Keep these coming ladies.
I will defo be getting a double buggy but plan to baby wear also. I loved babywearing my lo and can't wait to do it again.
I'm researching buggies now. Think I will get the mountain buggy duet as its the slimmest and I have a very narrow entrance from my front door to street level. But will stairs involved so a tandem is going to be pretty damn hard to get up and down.
I really like the look of the nipper but don't think it will fit in my gate/door. Wonder if there is other buggys in between the mountain buggy and the nipper

I currently have a four month old and a sixteen month old.
Initially I would repeatedly put newborn in a chair in the kitchen and pick up as soon as he got fractious. Now he'll spend half hour in the chair. Toddler in highchair with breakfast or lunch and I have my hands free to sort the kitchen. This is my busy time as I eat quickly, put on a wash, empty the dishwasher, prepare any food. I make quick each meals. Veg for dinner gets boiled at breakfast, chicken gets cooked, parsnips roasted, etc. If I run out of time then I can finish cooking dinner at lunch time. Basically as many easy but healthy dinners as possible.

Bath times at the moment, if I do them are massively quick. In the early days newborn would just have to be left to cry for five minutes while toddler had a quick dunk.

It's easy to hold a feeding newborn and sit on the floor. And it's easy to hold a sleeping newborn. I used nipple shields so the latch took zero focus. Now ds2 is bigger he can latch easily on his own so it's still zero focus.

What's hard now is having a velcro four month old who is easier disturbed when asleep. The pram is set up in the living room and I put him in there when he starts getting snoozy

I pretty much go everywhere with friends incase I need help with the toddler. Other than that I go out as newborn is falling asleep so I know I'll have a couple of hours with him in the carrier and can do bits with toddler.

I think it depends on the temperament of the baby and toddler but throughout my pregnancy I was mindful that toddler needed to learn to play independently for periods of time and to be able to get to sleep independently.

More to add. Toy rotation for toddler. Toddler proof living room to the max.

Overall it's been pretty ok. No where near as bad as I thought it would have been

Yes easier said than done of course, but find some friends, preferably in the same boat as you, so you all get it! It made me so much less stressed to know another set of eyes were on my toddler if had to feed the baby. Or I’ve practically thrown the baby at my friend when my toddler has nosedived off the climbing frame. Yes I can manage alone, but it’s definitely easier to not have to.

Phew this is all very reassuring!
Going everywhere with friends or family to help is a great idea, I’ll be hitting everyone up who I can! My eldest is in nursery two days a week so it’s only 3 days with both, I’m sure I can manage, keep telling myself that!

@Gingergin the trick is finding the right places to go. I've got membership for the local farm because toddler will happily spend a couple of hours in the pushchair looking at more bloody goats. The park, for me, at the moment, not such a good idea as toddler isn't quite safe enough. Soft play is great our local farm has a soft play bit too

Also a.mooch around town the toddler enioys or a playgroup.

At playgroup there's always someone to hold the baby. I also try to host playdates several times a week as I know it's safe and toddler loves it. Plus again, someone will enjoy holding baby

How’s everyone getting on?
Got my first solo parenting day tomorrow, eek. I’ve been left with both of them for a couple of hours at a time so I know I can do it! Just need to get into a routine.
It’s the bigger one who’s being tricky as he’s playing up a bit sometimes, a reaction to the new addition I think, just having tantrums and screaming a bit more than usual, and his sleep has been disturbed. Luckily my dh will be home in time every night to do bedtimes but he hasn’t been going down for naps the last couple of days, I will have to keep trying tho to get him back into these or I’ll go mad!
I’m lucky with my dh working hours so he gets back in time, and from home some days too, and biggest ds is at nursery 2 days a week so I don’t have it too bad. Still a bit scared tho!

Thanks @prusik
I know what you mean about the park, my big ds is a runner. We just got reins but don’t know about using that and the sling!

I had 3 under 2.5 ( no multiples) and an older one my morning routine was:

6am: feed newborn, change nappy and into fresh babygro pop down for nap

6.30am: shower myself and get ready..if baby not sleeping then basket in bathroom with me to keep an eye.

7am: throw cereal into bowls- wake eldest 3 and deposit in chairs around table to eat. Quick wash of hands / faces then send 7.5yr to get dressed whilst i dressed the 2yr old and 19month old.

8am: plonk little ones in safe spot with toys whilst i made school lunch and made sure changing bag was on buggy / 7.5yr old ready.

8.25am leave for school run!

I always tried to plan a babygroup / activity for the morning then home in afternoon for naps whilst i did housework/ prepped dinner. A sling was my best friend

Wow @Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere you have yous hands full there!
@Gingergin good luck tomorrow you'll need to come back and let us know how you get on. My dc2 isn't here yet but I'm already a bit nervous of when my dh goes back to work and I need to do everything alone!

Mindisboggled you'll do grand! My pro tip is routine is key but more importantly knowing when to say f the routine and pj day

Mine are 13,6,5 and 3.5 now and im still here to tell the tale

How did you get on @Gingergin?

I have 2 under 2! There's 11 months between them. It's so worth it, they'll be so close as they get older (well fingers crossed haha!). Me and their dad find them absolutely hilarious, right now they're at a stage of toy stealing so it's constantly one takes the toy off the other.. waaahhh!! Other one reclaims stolen toy.. waaaahhh!! And this can go on for ages lol! So funny. Hard work, but best thing in the world!

I really can't wait to get stuck in. Just love reading others experiences to try prepare myself. I'd have loved a smaller age age but this is what I got. Every now and then I get little bouts of nervous but I can't wait ☺️

Hello all... Can I join?

Dd is 18 months and ds is due in 4 weeks. Some great tips here so far. We're already doing toy rotation (5 boxes 4 of which are kept in a cupboard. I swap them over each night once she's in bed) and I highly recommend it if you're at home a lot. It's particularly reassuring to hear that for some people it's not as bad as they thought.

I have a few questions for any experts on the thread...

I dont drive and in any case we couldnt afford another car. The one we have is small and old. We don't live particularly near anything so I am reliant on buses, which at least are frequent and buggy friendly. I have so far planned not to bother with double buggy as they are much more problematic on buses and may not even fit in our car when folded. Would a side by side one even fit through our normal sized doors? Then there's the expense.. I was thinking sling for ds when dd needs the buggy and buggy board for dd as soon as she's old enough. She's a good walker but can't be relied upon to willingly go in my intended direction.. Am I crazy to consider this? Has anyone managed successfully without a double buggy with a 19 month age gap? What is a good sling for a newborn?

Last mat leave was very different, we lived elsewhere, were house hunting so I had a lot of errands & appointments unrelated to baby. Didn't go to any baby groups or similar as honestly the thought fills me with dread and I took the view that they are primarily for mothers. Went back to work pt at 9 months and dd has been at a lovely childminder ever since. I'm struggling with what to do about her hours there. On one hand it seems hugely wasteful to pay for childcare when I'm at home. On the other, stability, continuity and the fact that we really value the flexibility this place offers which isn't available at most settings, I'll be returning to work next spring so if we pull her out entirely she'll have to resettle somewhere. What did you all do?

Hi @Mollywobbles82 welcome!
I've bought a double as like you I don't drive but I don't use public transport either I walk everywhere, I got the mountain buggy duet which is the most narrow side by side on the market, as narrow as a single.
I thought on keep my single which I love and a sling for baby but after my new baby arrives we'll fast approach autumn and winter and I know without being able to put baby under a rain cover I would hardly leave the house. We go to one sometimes 2 baby classes a week and would like to maintain that.
But that said I used a nct caboo with my last newborn and it was really good and will use it again just not in the rain!

Regards to childcare if you can afford to keep it goin I'd opt to keep some consistency with older child, and lessen the settling in when yous returning back to work again. Maybe even drop the hours if you want to save some money but I reckon you'll value some alone time with new baby. That's one thing I feel bit guilty about with older dc it was just us bonding and all my attention was on her and this new baby doesn't get that.

I had a double that I bought second hand but ditched it when I broke the wheel. Ds2 was a velcro baby when little and still prefers the sling at 5 months. I'm trying to transition him into the pram because trying to teach ds1 (17m) to walk in public with a baby in a carrier is too awkward for me. I'm happy with the single as I have options about who to put in it

DC2 and 3 have a 12 month gap, the early bit wasn't too difficult at home but going out was daunting with one crawling and not understanding anything and the other unpredictable with needing feeds. I found a good toddler group where DD could safely go off and play without any small objects or slides etc like another one we tried, and then I could keep hold of DS throughout it.

Now DC3 is 7 months its easy, easier than when it was just DD1 in some ways as they entertain each other at times now, if one of them is getting fussy they'll often stop if the other one laughs or babbles at them.

It helps getting out a bit each day even if it's just to a park close by for half an hour while the baby naps in the buggy.

We have the mountain buggy duet and its great.

My first day was good thanks! I even managed to get them both sleeping and did a bit of housework! It was quite a calm start to it all, hopefully it continues..! Ds2 is a good little sleeper most of the time so I’m hoping that lasts and he slots in around our activities.

@Gingergin that sounds amazing. Ds2 slept on me for four months. He's still annoyingly not a great napper. Glad it went well

I had a 15 month gap and managed with a single and a sling. If out on my own I would take the pushchair for toddler and sling for baby. I made sure the pushchair could lie flat incase I needed to put the baby in it whilst doing something with the toddler. As baby got older the toddler would mostly walk and I would take the pushchair and slings for both of them so I had options.

Expecting number 3 now with an even smaller gap so had to give in and get a double!

I have 15 months between mine and my youngest is now 6 months. The first few weeks were hard especially as I was breast feeding and people kept on telling me to move to formula as I wasn't getting any sleep, I have no issues with formula btw just couldn't be bothered with the gaff if bottles (too lazy).
We fell into a routine quickly which was based round my toddler. Take each day as it comes and don't beat yourself up over thing. We had great days and terrible days. Best thing is the bond they have now, the biggest smiles they have are for each other!
Best thing I did was sleep when the toddler sleeps, for the first few months they both napped at the same time in afternoon, sleep is more important than doing housework x