How do I teach my baby to feed himself

[Jiggy16]

Hi there, not posted on here before so please be kind! I have a 15month old baby boy, ftm, and he's just great. My wee star. Anyway, started weaning him around 6 months and he's a good eater tho I do still tend to feed him the Ella's kitchen pouches etc as I am awful at cooking - I really don't have a clue, so at least this way I know he's getting good food. He's good with eating solid foods with his hands,( tho he's not too fond of raw veg ) tho I still spoon feed him the other food. Any time I give him a spoon he just wants to bang it on the tray or throw it on the floor. I've tried loading the spoon for him but most of the time he just flings it away with the spoon. I don't know what to do?! Plus he still uses soppy cups - 360 one etc, I've heard he should be drinking from a normal open cup now but again when I've tried that he just bangs the cup and water goes everywhere! I feel all a bit lost at min. Totally random but he's not walking or saying words yet, he cruised everywhere but doesn't seem to want to walk on his own. He babbles away but other than mama (which he says to everyone/thing) he doesn't say actual words. I always hear people saying 'oh don't worry that he's not walking yet, I'm sure he's a real talker' ehh no, neither actually! I don't know what to do I don't know how to teach these things?! Looking for some help and advice please!

You could ask your HV for some general parenting classes to help with your confidence?
With my DS I used to stop the spoon before I got to his mouth and wait for him to reach out and grab it so he got the idea. Messy though!

Put some on the spoon and then put it down in front of him so he lifts the spoon to his mouth himself. Start small though!

I did BLW so a bit different but my 16mo DS is much better with a fork than a spoon so you could give him that to eat bananas and other things he can stab.

You could also try the Baby led weaning cookbook for meal ideas. It also has a good guide of how to prepare food at the different stages so that they can eat it themselves.

Also eat with him at every opportunity so you can model using cutlery.

I wouldn't worry too much about what other babies are doing etc. 15 months isn't really late for walking, it's quite normal! Out of my NCT group of 5, 2 (including mine) weren't walking by that point. And mine is a good few months older now and only has a couple of words (still can't say mama!) but I've seen a speech and language therapist (about a different issue - with feeding/swallowing) but they didn't bat an eyelid and don't worry until much later.

He sounds perfectly normal, give him food like you are eating, no need for pouches at 15 months unless you are out and about or v busy. He can have sandwiches, bits of bread roll, fruit etc, chunks of cheese...maybe try giving blended food with bread for him to dip instead of the spoon? I used to do the messy stuff like self spoon feeding and practising using an open cup at dinner time and then I could put them straight in the bath after. My son def didn’t have any words till 18 months, language developed normally after that.

If you want to feed him ready meals that aren’t pouches, M&S do a kids’ range which is low salt and low sugar etc. There’s also the Hipp Organics toddler meal range. I’m not saying these are a good alternative to cooking for him yourself, but if this isn’t possible for whatever reason, they’re probably better than purees as they’ll encourage him to eat more solid food, which is essential for his tongue, throat and jaw development, and in turn, for speech.

Also try him with pasta - it’s really easy to make and if you have it, you can give him some or save it for his lunch the next day.

Thanks for the help. Yea the hipp toddler range etc I use. I do try him with pasta to feed himself, tried a sandwich yesterday with cheese and tried to show him how to eat it with me eating one in front of him, and hoping it up to him but there was cheese in it (he loves cheese, eats away st it in chunks) and he just opened it up, ate the cheese and threw rest on the floor. I tried starting with blw when we started weaning but he properly choked a few times - could t breathe, make sound etc until I dislodged the food that I was terrified of it and started the pouches. And he can eat with his hands if it's solid food and something he likes (cheese and Cheerios lol) but anything else is just flung around. Esp cutlery! Just feel out of my depth, hope I'm not spoon feeding a 12 year old at this rate!

I sympathise! I have a 16 month old who is starting nursery in a few weeks and I’ve had a sudden panic about feeding too. He can use a spoon to feed himself thick things like porridge and doesn’t spill a drop. However, if it’s anything slippy which can fall off a spoon, it goes everywhere. He can pick the food up OK but then turns the spoon upside down just before it gets to his mouth..... Maybe try him with porridge first so it’s easier to handle.

I used the ‘put a bit on a spoon and then give it to him’ technique and that worked well as a starter. I’m just hoping that he gets better at keeping food on the spoon - I have visions of him being the only child in Nursery who can’t use cutlery!

My DS also uses a free flow sippy cup and is just starting to drink from open cups. I bought some tiny plastic cups, about the size of shot glasses, and started him off with these. They are the perfect size because they can’t dribble too much when they drink. He drinks really well, the only problem is when he gets distracted and then pours the drink everywhere as he’s just seen our cat and points at her with her cup in hand!

Mine has a few words but is nowhere near walking yet so you’re not on your own. I worry all the time - I never knew being a parent would make me so anxious.

Give him a toddler fork and spoon at every meal and just let him do whatever. Praise him for trying with the cutlery, even if unsuccessful. Try and eat alongside him with the same or similar food, don't make a big song and dance of using your cutlery, just eat as normal and he'll work it out. Don't worry if he throws the cutlery, leave it for a few minutes and then give them back to him without making a big deal of it. If it starts to be a game then don't give them back for the rest of that meal.

It really doesn't matter if he peels a sandwich apart and eats the cheese. Eventually he'll try the bread and then eat it all. It doesn't matter if he chucks food, I'd assume he wasn't particularly hungry and finish the meal if he persists with it. Then at the next meal he will be hungrier and perhaps try to eat more of it, and so on.

Re walking, my LO took his first independant steps around 15 months but wasn't walking till 22 months
He's nearly 4 now and it's not held him back at all.
He was (and still is) very in to climbing though

My DS could use an open cup from about 18m (he started nursery and they only use them), but we still use the 360 cups at home and he’s nearly 3. Too much mess! Loads of his friends couldn’t use an open cup at that age though so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.

Peeling the sandwich apart is normal for toddlers. Again my DS still does that now and eats the seperate parts.

With the spoon and fork I think you just have to keep giving it to him every day. I gave him a spoon/fork for every meal that and helped him a bit at the start and then left him to it. Probably helped him at the end to get the food in. Yes it made a huge mess but eventually he figured it out.

My dc's always ate with us so they would have cutlery use role modeled for them. Also always had plastic cutlery available for their use. Give yourself a break and wait a long time before you give up on the sippy cup. My 15 year old dd still needs one!!! (and eats like a 2 year old, but can put on a full professional face of makeup...)
And like everyone else said...don't worry too much about what the other kids are doing. My dd was speaking in full sentences at 12 months, but didn't walk until 19 months. She was tested as being highly gifted at age 7, but would still pick out baby picture books at the school library (I sometimes think she did this to wind the librarian up as she was reading the Twighlight series - (parental fail) at home.) Ds walked and talked at a normal age, and was also eventually tested as being highly gifted, but is beyond completely useless at sports.

Oh yes and hv was very agitated that dd "coudn't turn over" despite the fact that she could crawl from one end of the room to the other in a split second. Ds could climb ladders before he could walk. (we found this out the hard way)

I had a friend whose ds was very adept with a knife at a young age and her big secret was to give him one at every meal from a young age. I tried it with my 2nd and it worked.

See so many people say that their child couldn't do one thing but was very advanced with something else! That's what gets me worried, my boy isn't advanced in another area! He didn't roll till after6 months, didn't crawl till 10 months, doesn't use words or try to. I'm worried I'm blocking his development! If I was to give him a bowl of food tho he would just throw it away. I have a plate that suction's on to the tray for wee finger foods and he usually throws a lot of the food on the floor then goes mad trying to get the plate off, if I give him a bowl it'll just get thrown away. I'm worried He's not going to reach I'd potential esp if I'm clueless.

Just put food straight on the tray, don't worry about plates.

Don't worry about other children who can do XYZ, honestly, as hard as that is. 15 months is still very little for lots of words, plus they often come along in sudden spurts and take you by surprise.

Mine was the same with not being "advanced" in one area and seeming like behind in everything. Don't think it means anything though - they do things at their own pace and catch up!

I kept up with sippy cups until DS was about 3 because he wasn't reliable with keeping it upright - I think that's fairly normal TBH.

For cutlery I think we used to just do the fork so he could stab things - most toddler cutlery is really crap and blunt but a few have longer prongs. Spoon dexterity is quite hard I think. Dunking things like breadsticks and cucumber into hummus or dips is good practice as well.

Thank you all for the tips and support. Feel a little better about things. I just want him to succeed and I'm worried I'm hampering the process. Will give some things a try this week and see how they go. Thank you.

Just put food on his tray. At that age, I don’t think it’s realistic to expect him to use cutlery yet. Mine fed herself with her hands til close to 2, with the occasional loaded spoon or fork. It’s just practice but it takes time so I’d focus on just getting him to feed himself normal food with his hands and work on learning to cook so he can be eating mostly home cooked food. The rest will come in time.

Embrace the mess. They can only improve with practice

Oh Jiggy you sound just like me - my wee boy is just away to turn 16 months & ive just written another thread on how he doesn't clap, point or wave yet while all his ante natal pals are. Mine also only just says mum. Everyone says "they all come on st their own pace" "he'll catch up" and I know deep down he will but I'm such a worrier and I can't help the worry creeping in! We can be worriers together.
I know the mum of a little girl born on the exact same day as DS and she was walking at 9 months and can say so many words - I have to skip by her videos on Facebook because it just unsettles me that he isn't doing the same.
I just started yesterday with a spoon so in the same boat again - I think I'm just going to give him the spoon to hold at first then I'll move to helping him dip it in yoghurt & porridge so he can figure out eventually to scoop it himself - don't actually know if it'll work! I don't use pouches anymore because he gets used to them and won't eat his regular food. At the minute he's super fussy so all he'll eat for supper is a rotation of soup, sausages & mash, beans & potato waffle/toast and pasta 😫
Good luck with the spoon training and (even though I know you will because I do too) try not to worry too much!!! X