I just wanted some advice on how to stop being such a horrible mum to be honest. I know I'm not a bad mum all the time - I have a really close bond with my daughter (8YO)
I'm a single, working parent, her dad isn't involved as there was a lot of domestic abuse, we split up 18 months ago now, have moved area and are doing well. She has coped really well.
My problems are the mornings.. I start work at 8.. We leave the house at 7.20 to walk 20 minutes to her childcare and then me back to work. She gets up around 6.30.. its an early start for her.
I feel bad that she has to get up so early and walk as we dont drive but again she just takes everything in her stride, shes amazing. Its me..
in the morning I get so stressed and end up blaming her for us running late when really its my fault, I'm the adult..
For example I will be saying its taken you far too long to brush your hair/how may times do I need to tell you to .... blabla... I'm late again! etc... I don't shout but my voice is angry because I'm stressed but its not her fault so why am I being so horrible?? Sometimes she will even get upset because I'm mad at her and yes sometimes she is messing around but I don't want her upset before school :( I just tell her to stop crying over nothing, it makes me even more annoyed when she cries, probably guilt.
Then on the walk to childcare/work I always calm down and apologise and tell her I love her and I shouldn't have been so harsh and go have a great day etc and I feel fucking terrible like I'm bullying my own child :( :(
I'll feel bad all day (at work right now trying not to cry) and il pick her up at 5.30 and it will all be fine and I'll promise myself to be better the next day but no I'm still a total bitch of a mum.
We really do have the closest bond and after all that's happened in her life with her dad etc and moving schools, house, everything shes just amazing.
How can I change. because I love her so so much. :(