Help me be a better mum-anger issues? Help, please

[Headinabook85]

Hello,

Like everyone I sometimes feel overwhelmed by being a mum. On occasion I shout at my children when they have not done anything much wrong.

I feel horrific about it as I do essentially have two very good little boys and I dont think they deserve the shouting....often it is because I am already in a bad mood about something....their Dad or the cleaning/tidying normally.

How do you find calm and perspective and not take it out on the kids?

Ive found I have lost a lot of my energy, my motivation to be organised etc. I know if I could get those parts of my personality "back" then Id be a lot less likely to snap at my kids. Id say that having my second son sapped my energy away and although I am trying all sorts to improve the situation, I feel I will never be truly energetic ever again. (I am upping my vitamin D-as prescribed by GP-Ive upped my exercise and have taken up running for the last five months, eating healthier, hydrating more).

I am snapping and screaming at them far too regularly now...maybe once a fornitght and I really must stop it. I imagine it could be like a sort of abuse and I dont want them to grow up thinking this behaviour is okay. They are 4 and 2 now so I imagine thwy will remember my outbursts into their adult hood which saddnes me beyond belief.

Maybe it is an anger management issue? I think I may need to clear a little off my 'plate' as life is v full and maybe just re calibrate my perspective on the cleaning etc.

Please tell me if you have been simialr and what helped you?

Maybe meditation

coldhands have a hug. Oh it’s so hard. I actually stopped the car twice on the way home from school yesterday to get out and look at the children and ask them (without shouting) to please stop fighting because I can’t drive safely with constant fighting. Inside I just wanted to scream.
headinabook I have a coil, so no real periods. I don’t think it’s that, but I’ll think about antidepressants........there is lots of other stuff going on, which doesn’t help.

Every time I lose it, I always think "I can't do it again, " till the next time they push your buttons.... at the moment I have been ok for a few weeks but due on on Saturday so I am waiting for the shadow to fall at some point soon.

You are not alone lovely xxx

I agree with Head A few years on antidepressants cured me of that uncontrollable reaction. It was learned behaviour from my father (a constantly furious man who had us all walking on eggshells) but by staying medicated for several years, I broke the cycle. Now I'm off meds and the screaming hasn't come back. Honestly, I feel prouder of breaking that pattern than of anything else I've ever done in my life. You can do it trickytroggle1

Weirdly I had a bit of a meltdown at DH last weekend & have felt progressively better all week. Am tired, but not especially grumpy.
There was a thing earlier in the week, I don’t know if that precipitated the awfulness. Wasn’t premenstrual.
I actually think the kids are behaving better too! Apart from the baby who is clingy a.f. because Pox.