My sister's ds hit her round the face and called her a 'silly idiot'

[thentherewasthree]

My sister's 4 year old ds hit her round her the face and called her a silly idiot the other night. It was part of the bedtime struggle they have every night. She shut him in his room and left him straight away (good thing) but he screamed and said he has hurt his ear - so she went back in and cuddled him - feeling guilty! His behaviour seems to be getting worse and worse and he doesn't have a routine. I am very pro-routine but only have a very young baby so havent experienced dealing with a toddler yet. Do I try and give advice or just keep out of it?

oh keep out of it!!
She will not thank you for giving advice.

keep out of it!!

My sisters two children are awful and regulary hit her and say they hate her. I tried to intervene before but she said I made it worse as I gave them attention and that she was ignoring it and it would go away.

Tell her to watch "superNanny" for tips!

Steer clear.
4 is a difficult age with boys.
She is doing her best let her get on with it.
Only give advice if it is asked for.

id keep out.

depending on your relationship and the extent you feel confident in what advice you could give (if you've not experienced it iyskim). tbh I'd just talk v generally about tv such as dr tanya etc and be there to support her as she needs.
giving direct advise can cause such upset

Offer to babysit for the night so she can go out and recharge her batteries!

yes - to be honest my only knowledge does come from supernanny and the house of tiny tearaways! Maybe i'll subtly ask if she watches them!

i think she'd ask if she wanted an opinion.

God, i would never have behaved like that at 4! Poor woman.

Keep well out of this one. YOu don't have experience of a child this age, and I would not thank any of my one-baby friends for advice on my 4 year old boy. I would nod and smile, and in my head would be thinking "You have got all this to come, I wish I had a tape recorder to play your smuggery back to you"

She is pretty laidback about it really - dont think she would ask. She has her own way of doing things. She only stopped breastfeeding him at christmas and he is only just out of nappies.

DON'T subtly ask if she watches Supernanny. People ask me that all the fkn time. It's not as subtle as you think it is, it is a pretty obvious critisism, actually.

Agree colditz, someone jokingly (haha) suggested we could do with a visit from Supernanny for DS2. nearly punched their lights out!

Colditz - i think its a bit unfair to refer to my concern as smuggery.

No, no, I don't think you are remotely smug, BUT voicing those genuine concerns will go down badly and it will feel like smug to her. Either way, it won't do your relationship with her any good at all, and chances are she won't listen to a word you say anyway.

oh - that makes more sense - sorry didnt mean to be over-sensitive!

Stay out of it

My mum once asked me if I watched supernanny whilst I was struggling with 4yr old dd. I opened the back door & showed her out of it

"Too right, and that's what that madam needs!"

Stay out of it

"She is pretty laidback about it really - dont think she would ask. She has her own way of doing things. She only stopped breastfeeding him at christmas and he is only just out of nappies. "

She sounds fairly clued up about parenting to me.

Just because a parent doesn't agree with Gina Ford, doesn't mean they are doing things wrong.

keep out of it, doesn't sound that unusual for a 4 year old boy.

keep out of it .. sounds like she's dealing with him extremely well on her own

and you are right .. you don't have the experience ..

do not subtly mention any childcare guru .. there is NO subtle way to do so .. honestly .. no matter how subtle you think you're being she'll see right through it

I'd offer to babysit
I'd offer a listening ear

but that's the extent of it